For the Love of Pranks
by Sploogal
Summary: What if James, Sirius and Remus had never become friends with Peter? Co-authored with Garden Gnome between and during classes, during long bus-rides, and generally whenever the mood took us in highschool. Incomplete, probably will remain that way.
1. chapter one

For the Love of Pranks  
  
Disclaimer: If you recognize it, we don't own it. However, the ideas in this story belong to my friend, Garden Gnome, and me, Sploogal  
  
A/N: We haven't included Peter Pettigrew (Wormtail) in this story, because, for it to be credible, he'd have to have been a decent person during his years at Hogwarts, otherwise Lily and James wouldn't have trusted him enough to make him their secret keeper. We just find it very difficult to write Peter as a 'good' person right now, but he might pop up in later chapters, who knows? Anyway, on with the story.  
  
Chapter One  
  
"Did you see the looks on their faces?!"  
  
"That was one of the best pranks we've ever pulled on the Slytherin's!"  
  
The three of them burst out laughing as they ran towards Gryffindor tower, followed by the angry shouts of a group of fifth year Slytherin boys.  
  
Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and James Potter had just pulled a prank on a group of Slytherin's, which had turned their skin red with gold stripes: the Gryffindor colours. They'd done things similar to this before, but Remus, who was good at modifying spells to suit their purposes, had invented a way to make the new colours stay for a whole week, no matter what the Slytherin's did! Sirius made it to the portrait of the Fat Lady first, and gasped the password, "Snidget 150." The three boys tumbled through the portrait hole, still laughing.  
  
"You three have been picking on Slytherin's again, haven't you?" Demanded a familiar voice, as the three of them groaned and turned to face Lily Evans.  
  
Lily Evans, like Remus, James, and Sirius, was a third year Gryffindor, but, unlike Remus, James, and Sirius, she disapproved of pranking people. Even those who deserved it!  
  
"Lily, how could you accuse us of such an atrocity?" Asked James, faking shock and disgust.  
  
"Yeah, Lily," started Sirius.  
  
"It's not as if we've ever done it before," continued James.  
  
"Well, apart from that time when we dyed their hair pink,"  
  
"And when we made carrots sprout from their ears,"  
  
"Or when we gave Snape a Mohawk,"  
  
"Oh, and you're forgetting when."  
  
The two of them went on, until Remus found the sense to stop them.  
  
"GUYS! I think she gets the picture!" Shouted Remus, after discovering that talking to them normally was having no effect.  
  
"You're all so immature!" Scolded Lily. "Remus, I don't know why you let them lead you into these things, because, really, you can do better!".  
  
"But, Lily, he doesn't want to do better, he." Said James, before Lily cut him off.  
  
"I'm sure Remus can speak for himself," huffed Lily, glaring at Remus as though daring him to disagree with her.  
  
"Actually, Lily, James is right. And just think of how much trouble they'd get into if I wasn't around to polish off their plans!"  
  
"Well, it would serve them right!"  
  
Lily, like most people, was usually amused by the Marauders' pranks, occasionally even lending them a hand finding new, more interesting spells, but Sirius had put a charm on her owl, Venus, the week before. A charm which made the owl's hoots sound like a car horn. Since then, lily had been 'less than friendly' to all three of them.  
  
"Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm tired," Sirius commented. Stifling a (fake) yawn, he started climbing the stairs leading to the boys' dormitory. Remus took the hint, and exited quickly, followed by James' glare. Lily and James were now alone in the common room.  
  
"I. err. well," James stuttered, silently cursing himself for sounding like such an idiot in front of Lily.  
  
"Yeah, little Jamesie's beddy-bies time, isn't it?" Teased Lily, realising as she sed it, how lame she sounded. She told herself to keep her cool, and act natural. It was only James, after all.  
  
"Heeh, yeah, well,"  
  
"Well, I'll see you tomorrow then," said Lily, staring into James' eyes, realising how deep they were.  
  
"Yeah, tomorrow." Repeated James, not having found his tongue yet. Without realising what he was doing, James leant in and started to kiss Lily. Lily hadn't exactly been expecting this, but she had been hoping for it, so, not wanting to turn away, she was just starting to put an arm around James' neck, when James finally came to his senses, and stepped back, turning an interesting shade of crimson. Lily also looked a bit uncomfortable, and started fidgeting. A few seconds later, as if acting on a signal, both turned and fled in opposite directions, towards their respective dorms.  
  
Remus was asleep by the time James entered the boys' dorm. Only Sirius lay awake, pondering the strange relationship between his best friend and Lily: one minute they were at each other's throats, and then, in the blink of an eye, they were almost kissing! Neither of them had said anything, of course, because they were too damn stubborn to admit it, (James said that Lily was a "nosy goody-two-shoes", while Lily claimed that James was just an "immature little prankster") but Sirius knew that they were deeply in love with each other. Although James was very popular, and he'd had loads of girlfriends over the years, he'd never been really serious about a girl before, and he'd definitely never been in love before.  
  
Upon hearing James come in, Sirius sighed, and rolled over, pretending to be asleep. It was none of his business what James and Lily did (or didn't do), but all the same, there would be Hogsmead weekends at some stage, and he couldn't wait to leave them alone together.  
  
To be continued 


	2. chapter two

For the Love of Pranks  
  
Disclaimer: If you recognize it, we don't own it. However, the ideas in this story belong to my friend, Garden Gnome, and me, Sploogal.  
  
Chapter Two  
  
The full moon was tonight, and Remus was starting to feel sick and tired. He didn't know how to tell James and Sirius that he wouldn't be coming with them to set up the prank tonight (they were very excited about it), and they didn't know that he was a werewolf. He shuddered at the thought that they would ever find out, hoping that it could just stay secret forever. Lily knew, but she was different. She had figured it out the year before, and, while she had taken a while to get used to the idea, she was fine with it now. He didn't think James or Sirius would be as understanding, and even if he had thought that, he would never risk them finding out.  
  
"So, Remus," prompted James.  
  
"Huh? What?" Remus had been lying on his bed, daydreaming as usual. He was startled out of his thoughts, as James began pacing the length of the boys' dormitory, as he always did when he was excited, jabbering on about the new prank.  
  
"You up for tonight?"  
  
"James," said Sirius, "I'd like to point out how DAMN FRUSTRATING you are!"  
  
"What'd I do this time?" asked James, pretending to be interested, but ruining the effect by rolling his eyes.  
  
"YOU. ARE. PACING!!!" Sirius roared through gritted teeth, before launching himself at James. The two of them wrestled for a bit, before climbing onto Remus' bed, neither looking the worse for wear, but disturbing Remus for a second time. James turned to him.  
  
"Well? You didn't answer me before."  
  
"That's because you didn't give me much of a chance to say anything before you two attacked each other!" Remus sounded a little annoyed. "Besides, I'm not feeling well. You two go ahead, I think I'll just stay here tonight."  
  
"C'mon, a prank on Snape will make you feel better!" Insisted Sirius.  
  
Remus glared at Sirius. "NO." He snapped, and shoved them off the bed, and pulled the hangings around it shut.  
  
James and Sirius looked at each other, bewildered. They had been under the impression that Remus had no temper. Apparently, they were wrong.  
  
"Maybe you should go and see Madam Pomfrey?" James suggested tentatively, in case he got snapped at again. Remus caught his tone, and there was a pause before the hangings reopened.  
  
"Sorry I snapped at you," he said, sincerely apologetic. "It's not your fault, but I really don't think I should come tonight." He then trudged out of the room, looking very pale and sick.  
  
"Something's definitely up with him. He does this every month," James hissed. "I want to find out what it is. C'mon, let's get the invisibility cloak."  
  
Fifteen minutes later.  
  
"Where is he? I thought he was going to the hospital wing?!" Sirius whispered.  
  
"First of all, Sirius, that is my foot, and secondly, look at this!"  
  
Silhouetted against the setting sun were two figures walking towards.  
  
"The whomping willow?! What in the name of Merlin?"  
  
"Be quiet, hissed James.  
  
Now, the smaller of the two silhouettes had disappeared under the whomping willow. Just as James and Sirius turned to go, the room was illuminated by an eerie light.  
  
"Look," whispered James. "It's the full moon."  
  
Sirius just stared open mouthed at him.  
  
"What? You look like a fish!" Sniggered James.  
  
"Remus disappears once a month, always during the full moon!"  
  
Now it was James' turn to look like a fish.  
  
"You mean Remus is a. He's a."  
  
"He's a werewolf!" Sirius confirmed.  
  
To be continued 


	3. chapter three

For the Love of Pranks  
  
Disclaimer: If you recognize it, we don't own it. However, the ideas in this story belong to my friend, Garden Gnome, and me, Sploogal  
  
Chapter Three  
  
"Madam Pomfrey, please, you've got to let us talk to him, it's really important!' Sirius got down on his knees and grovelled.  
  
After a nudge from Sirius, James followed suit, and the two of them gave her puppy dog eyes. Madam Pomfrey didn't look too impressed by this, nor did she look too eager to let them in to see Remus, but they were his friends, right? And if anyone could cheer him up, it would be James and Sirius.  
  
"I'll see if he's awake, wait here," sighed Madam Pomfrey, as she shuffled off to check on Remus.  
  
"It's almost midday," exclaimed James, getting to his feet. "Why wouldn't he be awake?"  
  
"Unless we were wrong, and he really is sick? But then, what would he have been doing at the Whomping Willow last night?" Asked a bewildered Sirius.  
  
Madam Pomfrey returned, and ushered the boys inside, pointing out the bed at the end of the hall, which had curtains drawn around it. Sirius and James walked over to the bed, and were shocked and horrified by what they saw: Remus was covered in deep gashes, and colourful bruises, and it looked like he had broken a wrist. In short, he looked like.  
  
"SHIT!!!" Yelled Sirius. "What the hell happened to you?!"  
  
Remus opened his mouth to reply, but James got in first.  
  
"Don't bother," he whispered furiously, his face turning an interesting shade of red. "We already know."  
  
Remus gasped, and looked down, now even more pale. James was mad! He'd never once seen James mad before!  
  
"Wha? How?" He stuttered, his heart sinking. For the first time in his life, he had friends, and now he was going to lose them.  
  
"We saw you go into the Whomping Willow last night." Said Sirius.  
  
"Imagine how you'd feel, if someone you'd thought was your friend had lied to you for three years!" James spat, and then, in a high pitched voice, he imitated Remus: "Oh, I have to go and visit my sick mother. I have to go to my great Aunt-in-law's second cousin's funeral!" In his normal voice, he finished with "You should have told us the truth."  
  
When James had finished his tirade, it was Sirius' turn to rant, although he didn't rant very much. "James is right, Remus. We're supposed to be your friends. You should have trusted us enough to tell us the truth. Why didn't you?"  
  
Remus had grown more and more pale while James and Sirius had been talking, but when he spoke, his voice was strong, and he sounded quite frustrated. "This is why! All my life I've been shunned, because of what I am. When people find out, they instantly hate me!" He paused, and then continued softly. "You guys were the first friends I ever had, and I didn't want you two to hate me as well."  
  
"Why the hell should we hate you?" Sirius demanded.  
  
"I'm a killer," Remus whispered back, not meeting their eyes.  
  
James and Sirius stared, and Remus thought he would die of embarrassment. Finally, Sirius spoke softly. "Have you ever bitten anyone?"  
  
"No."  
  
James hesitated, not sure if he wanted an answer, but asked his question anyway. "Have you ever killed anyone?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Then how can you say you're a killer, when you've never killed before?" James asked, relieved, but confused.  
  
"I have the potential to be a killer, and I can't control it."  
  
"So? You."  
  
"You've had fifteen minutes, now OUT!" Shrieked Madam Pomfrey, interrupting Sirius in mid-sentence. James and Sirius walked out, grumbling to each other.  
  
To be continued  
  
A/N Well, there it is! The third chapter! The Garden Gnome and I feel that we must apologise for taking so long to update, especially since we've already written seven chapters, but there's a problem: we're both horrible perfectionists, so the chapters end up being edited a million times before they're even typed for the first time!  
  
Thanks to Tom Girl and Kirinki for their reviews! Kirinki, we are going to write a lot more. We're aiming for around ten to fifteen chapters for every year of Hogwarts, if we don't die of old age before they're typed, that is.  
  
In coming chapters, there are pranks (on Snape hehe), Lily/James stuff (sorry to those people who hate this, even the Garden Gnome didn't want me to write it at first, but I just can't help myself, and it is going somewhere!), and a. goldfish? Hehe. goldfish. 


	4. chapter four

For the Love of Pranks  
  
Disclaimer: The great JK owns all the characters, settings, etc. *All bow down and praise the great mind of JK*  
  
Chapter four  
  
Lily had noticed that Remus was looking particularly upset, and was not hanging around with James and Sirius. She also noticed that James and Sirius seemed to be furious with Remus about something.  
  
She had been thinking about what could possibly have happened between the three of them, when she was startled from her thoughts by Remus' voice. "A knut for your thoughts," he said in a would-be cheerful voice, but Lily knew better.  
  
"Remus, can I talk to you, please?"  
  
"Well, you're talking to me now, aren't you?" Lily laughed at his reply, before becoming serious again.  
  
"Remus, what's wrong? You seem down in the dumps."  
  
"I, well." Remus looked up at her expectant face, and muttered, "Don't worry about it, it's nothing."  
  
"Yeah, and Voldemort was a Gryffindor!" Lily retorted.  
  
Remus glared at her. He really wasn't comfortable talking about it to anyone. "They found out about. Oh, never mind."  
  
"They found out about." She lowered her voice, "Your condition?" Remus nodded. "And now they're ignoring you?"  
  
"Lily, don't -" Remus started, but Lily had already got up and stalked determinedly over to James and Sirius.  
  
*SLAP! SLAP!*  
  
James and Sirius looked at Lily with their mouths open, each sporting a red hand mark on his cheek. Apparently, Lily was annoyed.  
  
"If you can treat Remus like that, you don't deserve his friendship!" She yelled, and stormed up the stairs leading to her dormitory.  
  
Remus glanced up at James' and Sirius' faces, and started laughing. Sirius and James glared at him, but then, both realised how silly they had been (they would have lied too, wouldn't they?), and joined in the laughter.  
  
"Right, I'm going to bed. Remus? Sirius? You coming?" James asked meaningfully.  
  
"Ok," answered Remus. Sirius, on the other hand, gave James a quizzical look, and shrugged.  
  
Back in their dorm, Remus sat on his bed, and James and Sirius sat on Sirius' bed, faceing him. They stared at each other before Remus began to speak.  
  
"I'll understand if you don't want to hang around with me anymore, -" but he was interrupted by James.  
  
"Look, we're not angry because you're a werewolf. Quite frankly, we couldn't care less if you had three heads, and bright blue skin, and Merlin knows what else! The only reason we got angry is because you lied to us!"  
  
"We're supposed to be your friends," Sirius agreed. "Anyone who knows you, knows what a great person you are, Remus! If anyone who was your friend rejected you because you're a werewolf, it just means that they weren't real friends in the first place!"  
  
"We do still want to be friends with you. We just got cheesed off because you lied to us for three years!"  
  
"Then," Remus started nervously, "You didn't tell anyone about, um. You know."  
  
"Of course not!" James and Sirius exclaimed in unison, both with very fake looks of outrage on their faces.  
  
The three of them broke out in fits of laughter, shortly before Sirius jumped on James. The two of them wrestled for a few minutes before Peter ran up the stairs to see what was wrong.  
  
"I should have guessed," said Peter, rolling his eyes. "Guys, Lily's really worried about something, she said to come and get you."  
  
The three less evil boys (sorry ppls, but I hate Peter) exchanged glances before heading back down to the common room, where Lily had assumed the worst when she had heard James' and Sirius' shouts.  
  
"Remus, what happened?" Lily was frantic. "I heard shouts."  
  
Remus cut her off to explain that everything was fine, and that they were talking again - it was just James and Sirius being themselves. Lily, looking a little confused, said that she was glad that everything had turned out all right, before leaving to finish her homework, obviously still with no idea what had just taken place up in the boys' dorm.  
  
"So, how about tonight?" James asked with a grin.  
  
"Huh?" Remus looked quite bewildered.  
  
Lowering his voice, James replied, "Well, we were going to play that prank on Snape the other night, remember?"  
  
"Yeah," Sirius agreed. "Tonight would be perfect - the teachers are all at a staff meeting, so we won't be caught!"  
  
Remus thought of all the class work he had to catch up with, but, seeing the looks on his friends' faces, he knew he couldn't refuse them the opportunity to annoy Snape. They had been planning this prank for weeks, and were too excited to put it off any longer.  
  
To be continued  
  
A/N: There. I told you we'd update! The next chapter probably won't be up for at least a week, as the Garden Gnome and I are finding it hard to agree on where to place the 'goldfish scene.' We had heaps of fun writing it, and I (Sploogal) think it should go in the next chapter, but the Garden Gnome thinks it should wait until chapter eight! That's a long time. Please review, and tell us what you want to read (Lily/James or pranks, or the "goldfish scene" or. what? You tell us!), and we'll do our best to please you! 


	5. chapter five

For the Love of Pranks  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own Harry Potter. Sploogal, however, would like to profess her undying love for James Potter, (Garden Gnome: Groan) and we would also like the world to know, that, while we don't own Harry Potter or anything else that other people already own, we do own the plot. Yay! We own something! Now, on with the story.  
  
Chapter five  
  
The following morning, Snape strutted into the Great Hall, wearing bright, floral robes. Every student in the Hall turned and, upon seeing Snape's robes, burst out in gales of laughter. Snape, hearing the word "robes' from the Slytherin table, glanced down, but could not see what was so funny. All he saw were the Hogwarts robes that he usually wore. Feeling rather confused, he walked to the Slytherin table to eat breakfast. Once there, he looked up at the high table, where Dumbledore had the familiar twinkle in his eyes, and appeared to be trying hard not to laugh.  
  
"I must say, Mr Snape. This is an interesting choice of attire." Professor McGonagall had startled him from behind. She swished her wand, and muttered a few words under her breath.  
  
Snape looked down, and saw what he was wearing. "What did you just do?! You've made me look like a. . . a. . . like a. . . girl!" He spat the last word, making it sound like a disease.  
  
"I did nothing to your robes!" Replied Professor McGonagall, barely controlling her grin.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Merlin's beard, Mr Snape, use your manners!" McGonagall snapped. "I merely allowed you to see more clearly."  
  
"Huh? What? You mean. you. POTTER! BLACK! LUPIN! I'll get you, you bloody marauders!"  
  
McGonagall glared, but before she could reprimand him, the Marauders had rushed over to where she and Snape were standing, and James butted in with an overly polite and high pitched voice. "You'll have to excuse us, Lady Severus," (All three bowed at this point.) "We really must be going!"  
  
Sirius and Remus finished in unison, "We'll see you again soon, but, until then."  
  
All three marauders bowed again, and ran out of the Great Hall, the sound of laughter and thunderous applause behind them.  
  
When they got back to their dorm, they collected their things for Transfiguration - a class they shared with the Slytherins. They took their seats a few minutes before McGonagall got there.  
  
"So, what's the spell again?" James asked Remus.  
  
Remus rolled his eyes and replied, slowly, as though speaking to a 3-year- old, "It is" (Sirius did a drum roll) "Verite! Now, on my count. One. Two."  
  
"Verite!!!" All three of them shouted the spell, their sands pointed at Snape, who was then forced to say what was on his mind for the next two hours.  
  
McGonagall walked into the room, carrying a stack of parchment. "Good morning class! Today, we will be continuing our discussion of animagi. Now, before I hand out these notes, can anybody remember anything about this type of transfiguration?" She asked, looking around the class.  
  
Lily's hand shot up, but before she had the chance to say anything, Snape opened his mouth. "Why'd you bother to ask the whole class, professor? Everyone knows Evan's going to answer!" Turning to Lily, he apologized for picking on her, and then proceeded to ear bash McGonagall.  
  
Yay! Another chappie! Go us! Now, I know that plenty of you read, but don't review. How do I know this, you ask? Well, because I used to do that! Please review! It only takes a few seconds, and all you have to do is say either that you do like it, or you don't like it. It would help if you also told us what you'd like to read about in future chapters, but there's no pressure to do that, so R/R ppls! 


	6. chapter six

For the Love of Pranks  
  
Disclaimer - Garden Gnome: Hey, we should write a disclaimer, shouldn't we? Sploogal: Probably. Garden Gnome: So. Sploogal: Well, everyone already knows that we don't own anything that JK does. Garden Gnome: Yeah, that's right. We don't own anything. Sploogal: Except? Garden Gnome: Oh, that's right! We own the plot!  
  
Chapter six  
  
"Have you heard? Old Snapie got a detention!" Remus yelled, bounding into the common room. James and Sirius looked up and Sirius hid something behind his back.  
  
Remus didn't notice this action, but he did notice that Sirius didn't get up and do his victory dance that he usually did when Snape got a detention, especially if it was the Marauders' fault.  
  
"What's up with you two?" Remus asked suspiciously.  
  
"Nothing!" James answered quickly. Too quickly, thought Remus.  
  
"Right," he replied. "And I'm Merlin's mother!"  
  
"Oh, are you? What an oddity!" Sirius said in a high pitched voice.  
  
Remus collapsed into a comfortable red arm chair and didn't notice James grinning and rolling his eyes.  
  
"So, what's Snape doing?"  
  
"Got it with Filch!" James and Sirius exchanged evil, identical looks. They were loving this!  
  
"Cleaning the trophy room" Remus continued. The three of them burst into laughter.  
  
"Is he allowed to use magic?" James asked Remus, but was answered by a different voice. James and Sirius jumped - they had thought that they were the only ones in the common room at that time - but Remus had seen her coming.  
  
"I should hope not," The voice said. "It would be such a shame if he went there, and wasn't able to use his hair! I mean, he wouldn't need the cloth or the grease!"  
  
The boys whirled round to see who had spoken. It was Lily. "What did he get it for?" She queried. "You guys wouldn't have had anything to do with it, now would you?"  
  
"Well. . . er. . . umm. . . you see, we," James stuttered.  
  
"A truth charm?" She demanded.  
  
"Yes," James and Sirius replied tentatively, and looked down, ready for a stern lecture, and an ear bashing, but it never came.  
  
They looked up, to find Lily in a silent fit of giggles. "Oh Merlin," She gasped. "He was being truthful?!" Her look of amusement quickly changed to horror. The boys looked at each other, shocked and amazed.  
  
Remus was the first to find his voice. "Lily, are you feeling Ok?"  
  
"No, not anymore,' she groaned.  
  
"That was an interesting reacting."  
  
"Well, what would you do if a slimy git walked up to you, and said he liked you, and you then found out that he had a truth charm on him?!"  
  
The boys' faces changed quickly from shock to amusement, and then to mischief.  
  
"Snape likes Lily! Snape likes Lily!" James and Sirius sang, skipping in circles around Lily.  
  
"Lily. the end of year ball's coming up, and," Remus stopped when he noticed James, Lily, and Sirius staring at him in shock and amazement.  
  
Was Remus asking Lily out? If so, Sirius was sure that James would never get over it.  
  
"What?" Demanded Remus. "You lot look like you've been petrified!" A look of realization dawned on his face. "I am not asking her to go with me! I am merely suggesting that Snape will most likely ask Lily to go to the ball with him!"  
  
Lily collapsed on a chair, her face in her hands. "Mother of bloody Merlin!"  
  
There was a minute's silence before Sirius asked James, "Do goldfish bounce?"  
  
A/N: Sploogal wishes to express her annoyance at being unable to get the goldfish scene in here, but it will be here soon, so don't fret! We have been working tirelessly to finish this section of the story, and have now completed drafts of the first eleven chapters! Yay! Sploogal just needs to get up off her lazy ass and type the damn things! Many thanks to Tom Girl for your review! 


	7. chapter seven

Disclaimer - Garden Gnome: This is becoming tiresome. Sploogal: Oh I know! Garden Gnome: We don't own Harry Potter. Sploogal: Oh I know! Garden Gnome: JK owns all the Harry Potter characters etc. Sploogal: Oh I know! Garden Gnome: Stop it. You're annoying me. Sploogal: *Giggles maliciously* Oh I know! Garden Gnome: *Attacks Sploogal* Sploogal: Argh Garden Gnome: *Swats Sploogal with a book* Sploogal: Argh! Garden Gnome: That'll teach you.  
  
Chapter seven  
  
Lily and Yvonne were walking down the corridor, talking about the girls sharing their dorm.  
  
"Every night, it's 'James is soooo sexy!' or 'Sirius is a god!' or 'Remus is dreamy!' It's so irritating!" Fumed Yvonne.  
  
"Yeah, I know! They each like a different guy, so why can't they just go ou-" Lily stopped talking, suddenly, as she bumped into Snape.  
  
"Uh, Lily? Can I talk to you?"  
  
Lily was overwhelmed by a feeling of de-ja-vu.  
  
*Flashback* Lily and Yvonne were walking down the corridor, when the (literally) bumped into Severus Snape.  
  
"Oh, sorry Severus," said Lily.  
  
"That's Ok Lily. Actually, I was just looking for you."  
  
"Really? Why?" Lily had a bad feeling about this.  
  
"I just needed to tell you," he looked quite shocked that he was saying this. "I am absolutely head over heels in love with you," he said passionately.  
  
"Oh. Um, err. Yer. Ah." Stuttered Lily, for once, at a complete loss for words.  
  
"Oh, Lily! Look at the time!" Exclaimed Yvonne, coming to the rescue. "Bye Severus!"  
  
*End flashback*  
  
"Um, Lily." Snape turned bright red, also remembering the 'incident'. "I was wondering, would you go to the ball with me?"  
  
"Severus, I can't!" Lily was panicking now. "You see, I'm going with." She caught sight of the marauders coming down the corridor towards them. She said, rather loudly, hoping that they would hear and play along, "I'm going to the ball with James." She sent a pleading look towards James.  
  
James looked surprised, but quickly hid it, and sidled over to Lily, while Remus and Sirius just stood there with their mouths wide open. "So, Lily you up for Hogsmead this weekend?" James asked casually, whilst slipping an arm around her waist. He'd expected her to retaliate, but, strangely enough, she relaxed and broke into a smile.  
  
"Yeah, sure." She replied.  
  
Lily turned to face Snape, but he had made himself scarce. Instead, she faced a bewildered Remus and an angry (but amused) Sirius.  
  
"James! You're going out with Lily, and you didn't even tell us?!" Sirius said angrily.  
  
James and Lily glanced at each other, and burst into laughter. (Sploogal: I think people tend to burst too much in this story. I'll be putting a stop to that.)  
  
"We're. not." Lily said in between bursts of laughter. (Sploogal: See what I mean?)  
  
"What in the name of Merlin is going on here?" Burst out Remus. (Sploogal: I even wrote a note on the draft. It says "TOO MUCH BURSTING!")  
  
"Snape just asked me out, and I needed an excuse to say 'no', so I said I'm going with James," Lily explained.  
  
Sirius and Remus exchanged evil looks, and grinned at James and Lily.  
  
"You realize that this means you have to go to the ball together?" He asked wickedly.  
  
There was a moment of silence before.  
  
"Damn. Sorry James! I didn't mean it like - you didn't want to go with anyone in particular, did you?" Lily sounded quite apologetic.  
  
"Nah." James replied. He'd actually wanted to ask Lily, but couldn't work up the nerve to do it. "I'm quite happy to go with you! Now, really, you up for Hogsmead?"  
  
James glanced at Sirius, before adding, "As friends"  
  
Lily smailed. "Sure thing. I'm really sorry for dumping you in the middle of this."  
  
"That's Ok." James answered.  
  
Sirius and Remus rolled their eyes at their love-struck friend.  
  
"Besides, we couldn't have you distracting all the Gryffindor's by going out with that slimy excuse for a Slytherin," James joked.  
  
Lily punched him lightly, and they continued down the corridor together, leaving Sirius and Remus behind.  
  
"Together?" Exclaimed Remus. "If they're actually Ok with this, then I'm Merlin's brother!" (Sploogal: I wonder. Remus is always saying sarcastically that he's related to Merlin. Is he holding something back? Gnome!!!)  
  
Remus was expecting a sarcastic reply from Sirius, but all he got was silence.  
  
A/N: Yay!!!!!!! I typed it!!!!!!!!!!! More coming, so don't go away!!!!!!!!!! Also, R/R ppls, coz the more reviews we get, the faster we update. (And the less we study!) Besides, it makes us feel good! I (Sploogal) don't know about Garden Gnome, but when I feel bad, important characters tend to die. (Garden Gnome: *rolls eyes*) So, if you don't want James (the King of the Sexy People) or Sirius (James' Sexy Friend) or Remus (who is cute, but not quite in James' league), to die, REVIEW!!! Garden Gnome: Oh God! There she goes! Please have mercy and review, lest we be subjected to that again! Sploogal: Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!! 


	8. chapter eight

Disclaimer: Errr. If you haven't figured out by now that Garden Gnome and Sploogal don't own any JK stuff, well, YOU MUST BE PRETTY SLOW!!! I (Sploogal) am getting tired of disclaiming this stuff. It's depressing. Oh, and by the way, we're thinking of killing off one or two of the characters soon.  
  
Chapter eight  
  
"Ok, so what colour should it be?" Remus prompted.  
  
"Red with gold sparkles," James supplied.  
  
"Shoes?"  
  
"Gold. As if you had to ask!" Replied Sirius.  
  
"I should have guessed," Remus grinned as he wrote out the spell.  
  
"So, who are you taking to the ball?" James asked the other two.  
  
"No one!" Sirius stated. "That way, I can dance with anyone I want!"  
  
James rolled his eyes. "Typical," he muttered. "So, Remus. What about you?"  
  
Remus turned bright red, and muttered something inaudible. (Sploogal: There was a problem with bursting before, now it's muttering! We'll never stop! Argh!)  
  
"Didn't catch that!" Sirius said jovially. (Sploogal: Jovially. I hate that word!)  
  
"Yvonne!" Remus turned an even brighter shade of red, and glared at Sirius warningly.  
  
"Yvonne! Good on ya! You two make such a cute couple," Sirius said in a haigh pitched voice, batting his eyelashes.  
  
"Shut up." Muttered Remus. (Sploogal: See! Right there! More muttering!)  
  
"Let's stop chatting, and get ready." Suggested James.  
  
"Eager, aren't you?" Taunted Sirius. "It wouldn't have anything to do with Lily, would it Jamsie-poopikins?"  
  
"WHAT?! Are you crazy?" James protested. "And DON'T CALL ME JAMSIE- POOPIKINS, FOR MERLIN'S SAKE!"  
  
"Sorry Jamsie-poopi- Argh!!!"  
  
James had launched himself at Sirius, and the two of them wrestled until Remus had had enough, and put the body-binding curse on the both of them. He left them for half an hour, while he took a shower. When he came back, he was greeted by whining and whimpering coming from the two marauders.  
  
"Awwww. Remus," whined Sirius. "Let us up, please?"  
  
"Well. Ok." Remus performed the counter-curse, and was immediately attacked by his two friends.  
  
"Idiots!" Remus gasped. "We only have half an hour left!"  
  
With that, James and Sirius raced each other to the showers.  
  
*In the girls' dorm.  
  
"So, Yvonne, what are you going to wear?" Lily asked.  
  
"I don't know. I want it to be, um, special, but not over the top." Yvonne responded absently, looking through her closet. Lily stepped in front of her.  
  
"All right, Yvonne! Who is he?" She demanded.  
  
"Remus," Yvonne replied dreamily. "He's so sweet and sensitive!"  
  
"Hi girls! Looking forward to the ball? Who are you going with, anyway?" Squealed Leanne.  
  
"Yeah, who?" Paula and Alison echoed.  
  
"Remus." Yvonne looked somewhat happy about this.  
  
"James." Lily did not look at all happy.  
  
Leanne, Alison, and Paula's mouths fell open. "How-"  
  
Got it!" Cried Lily, holding up a dress on Yvonne.  
  
"This isn't mine," Yvonne said sadly. It really was a good dress.  
  
"It's mine. And now, which dress should I wear?" Asked Lily.  
  
*20 minutes later*  
  
"What's taking them so long?" Remus asked nervously.  
  
The three marauders had been waiting at the bottom of the staircase for fifteen minutes.  
  
They whirled around as when they heard laughter floating down the stairs.  
  
"Did you see their faces?" Lily was giggling!  
  
"But. but. He's mine! I got him first!" Yvonne imitated.  
  
When they (finally) descended the stairs, James' breath caught in his throat. Lily's hair was up in a French roll, and her dress was simple, gold, and stunning. In all honesty, he thought she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever laid eyes on!  
  
A/N: Garden Gnome: Sorry about the SLOPPY ending for this chappie, but it can't be helped with Sploogal around. Sploogal: Well, excuse me for breathing! Garden Gnome: I'd rather not. Sploogal: Hey! *Grabs big, fat, ugly maths textbook and swats Garden Gnome* Garden Gnome: Oi! *Grabs even bigger, fatter, uglier maths file and swats Sploogal* Sploogal: Yuck! Maths germs! Garden Gnome: You started it! Sploogal: Did not! Garden Gnome: *Rolls eyes* You gave me icky disgusting maths germs first! Sploogal: So I did. Garden Gnome: Can't argue with that! Sploogal: But I bet you're going to try, right? Garden Gnome: Darn right! Again, we must apologise to you, but, really, if you've read this much, you couldn't possibly mind it too much! Either that, or you're as crazy as we are! Anyway, R/R peoples, because otherwise, Sploogal will get a knife, and go and hunt down James or Sirius or Remus, and they'll die, because you were too lazy to click and type! Garden Gnome: Do it! Sploog's crazy! Sploogal: Speak for yourself! Garden Gnome: I never said I wasn't crazy! Sploogal: Good point. 


	9. chapter nine

Disclaimer: Garden Gnome and Sploogal: We don't own anything that JK does, so don't sue us, ok?  
  
Chapter nine  
  
"Go and dance," Sirius insisted.  
  
It was halfway through the ball, and Lily and James hadn't danced yet.  
  
"No." James retorted.  
  
"Yes! Come on," Lily put on the puppy dog eyes, and stuck out her lower lip.  
  
James blushed and laughed nervously, before allowing himself to be led to the dance floor. The couple began dancing, and Lily was surprised to find that James was actually a pretty good dancer. She was brought back from her thoughts (about James) by the sound of James' voice.  
  
"You, umm. You look really beautiful tonight."  
  
Lily smiled, and replied, "You don't look too bad yourself!"  
  
James smiled and leaned in towards Lily, but before he could kiss her, a loud "pop" reached his ears. They broke away from each other to find its source. There stood Snape, wearing a nothing but a red tutu, and gold ballet shoes!  
  
"What in the na-" Lily never finished her sentence, as just then, the song changed, and Snape began dancing, executing perfect whirls and balances.  
  
The crowd parted to watch the spectacle. Yvonne, Sirius, and Remus came up behind them.  
  
Yvonne had doubled over with laughter. "Did you guys." She didn't manage any more before she burst out laughing again.  
  
"Yep." Sirius confirmed proudly.  
  
"Was this the prank you've been planning all this time?" Lily demanded.  
  
"Yeah. Pretty good, isn't it?" Asked James.  
  
"No. I think it is mean, and immature. Good night!" Snapped Lily, before sweeping out of the hall.  
  
"I should go after her," sighed Yvonne. "Thanks for a lovely night Remus. And, guys? That was a great prank, no matter what Lily says." Yvonne then exited the hall, and Leanne, Alison, and Paula surrounded the Marauders.  
  
"Oh, James! I saw what you did, that was just amazing!" Leanne squealed, whilst batting her eyelashes at James.  
  
"Would you like to dance?" She asked, and, without waiting for his reply, pulled him out onto the dance floor.  
  
It was midnight by the time the ball had finished, and the three boys headed back to the Gryffindor common room. They would have much rather had left straight after Lily and Yvonne had, but, being the most lusted after boys in their year, they had been forced to stay. (Sploogal: The Garden Gnome's gonna kill me for putting that last bit in! *giggles maliciously*)  
  
They were about to climb the stairs to the boys' dorm, when they were stopped by the girls.  
  
"Oh, Jamsie," (James grimaced. He hated being called that!) "Don't I get a good-night kiss from my handsome prince?" Leanne asked.  
  
"Yeah, and what about me, Remy-poo?" Alison cooed.  
  
Remus and James had had just enough time to exchange horrified glances, when Yvonne cut in to save them.  
  
"Excuse me, ladies," she said. "As I understand, they were our dates." She turned her back on the other girls. "Good night Remus, and, thanks again. Good night guys!"  
  
Lily glared at Leanne, and forced herself to kiss James on the cheek, and then whispered in his ear, "Get over yourself. You've done better pranks than that!"  
  
She and Yvonne headed up to their dorm. The boys, also, went to their own dorm.  
  
"Good Gryffindor!" James shuddered. "I thought I was actually going to have to kiss Leanne!"  
  
"Great Merlin, James! I am trying to sleep! Are you trying to give me nightmares, or something?" Hissed Sirius.  
  
"Like you, Sirius, I am trying to get some sleep. I cannot do that while you two are talking!" Yelled Remus.  
  
A/N: Sploogal: The next chappie will be longer, we promise! Hehe. Goldfishy. Garden Gnome: What did I say about that? Sploogal: Absolutely nothing! Garden Gnome: Well, that's true, but you know better! Sploogal: No I don't! What hole did you just crawl out of? Garden Gnome: You have a point. Just tell them to R/R, k? Sploogal: Fine. *pause* Garden Gnome: Well? Sploogal: *sulkily* R/R ppls. Garden Gnome: Properly. Sploogal: *angrily* R/R PPLS! Garden Gnome: *coughs* Sploogal: I don't answer to coughs. Garden Gnome: Well, you bloody well should! Sploogal: Fair dinkum. Please R/R, because otherwise we get sad, and we stop writing. Got it? Garden Gnome: Well, I suppose that was a little more mature. Sploogal: And now, you have to say your bit. *evil grin* Garden Gnome: Glad to. *pause* *WHACK* Garden Gnome: Ok ok! Many thanks to the person who reviewed. Sorry, I've temporarily misplaced your name. Sploogal: Typical. Garden Gnome: Oh, well I spose I'd better tell the truth. Sploogal lost it. Sploogal: Thanks Gnome! Garden Gnome: Well, it's true! Sploogal: Good point. Sorry person who reviewed, we will find your name, and have it up ASAP! 


	10. chapter ten

Disclaimer: Something brilliant from the mind of JK, plus something insane from the minds of the Garden Gnome and Sploogal, equals. This? You're in for it now!  
  
Chapter ten  
  
It was the last day of term, and Lily and Yvonne were, for once, relaxing in the common room, in front of the fire.  
  
"Lily, everyone's expecting another end of year prank from the Marauders," Yvonne started.  
  
Lily's face darkened. "So?" She asked, rather harshly.  
  
Yvonne decided to ignore her friend's obvious bad mood. "Well, wouldn't it be great if we pulled a prank on them?"  
  
Lily's eyes lit up. "And that's why you're my best friend!"  
  
Yvonne just grinned.  
  
*In the boys' dorm*  
  
"So, any ideas?" Asked Sirius.  
  
"Huh?" Remus had not been listening. He had not been able to concentrate on anything since the ball, as his thoughts were continuously on the beautiful blond he'd danced with.  
  
"In case you'd forgotten, lover-boy, we do an end of year prank every year! Or have you got something more important to do?" Teased Sirius while James sniggered.  
  
"Shut up," Snapped Remus. "Who shall we prank? Snape?"  
  
"Too easy." James said. "We need a bigger target. Get out the list and choose a prank while I think."  
  
Sirius seemed to find this very amusing. "You? Think? Ha!"  
  
Sirius promptly copped an elbow in the side.  
  
Remus took out a list and began to read from it. "Turn into a toad?"  
  
"Done."  
  
"Invisible clothing?"  
  
"Done." They continued until they had finished the entire list, which was almost two feet long, written in Remus' tiny writing.  
  
"Well, it looks like we need to revise the list!" Said Remus. The room was, for once, silent, until.  
  
"I know! What about Dumbledore? Even something simple, like messing with his hair colour would be huge, because nobody has ever pranked him before! We'd be the first ones to get him!"  
  
"Yeah," Sirius agreed, sounding excited. "We'd go down in prankster's history!"  
  
*At the feast*  
  
"Another year has been and gone. Well done to all of you! Congratulations to those who are graduating, and good luck in the future. And now -" Professor Dumbledore stopped talking quite suddenly, as his beard fell off, turned into a clown, and began dancing and singing.  
  
"Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy, warty Hogwarts! Show us some fun please! Whether we be old and bald, Or young with scabby knees; Our eyes could do with seeing Some very funny pranks, For now they're bare, And full of air, And boring without much dare! So teach us pranks worth knowing, Revive the old-fashioned fun! Just do your best, We'll do the rest, And prank 'till the day is done!"  
  
When the doll had finished (to a roar of applause and laughter) it changed back into a beard, ad re-attached itself to Dumbledore's chin. It was now flashing red and gold: The trademark of the marauders.  
  
"I must say, that was a fantastic prank! As I recall -"  
  
Professor McGonagal cleared her throat loudly, and shot Dumbledore a warning look.  
  
"But, perhaps this is not the time," he said hurriedly. "Now, where was I? Ah, yes, let the feast begin!"  
  
*Later that evening.*  
  
The train back home was leaving in the morning, and, while most Gryffindor's were packing, Lily and Yvonne were walking outside, having packed the previous night. They wouldn't be seeing each other again for a few weeks, and they wanted to say a proper goodbye. As they walked toward Gryffindor tower together, they noticed that most of the other students were in their house common rooms or dorms.  
  
"I wonder what the marauders have got planned for this afternoon?" mused Lily.  
  
The marauders always did something interesting involving the other students in Gryffindor house on the last day of term, and the two girls figured that today would be no exception. After all, they'd had the nerve to prank Dumbledore, so a little prank on their housemates wouldn't be too hard for them. The two of them speculated about the inevitable prank as they strolled down the corridor leading to Gryffindor tower, and climbed through the portrait hole into the common room, where Sirius and James were having a full flared argument over. a fish?  
  
"I'm telling you, GOLDFISH DON'T BOUNCE!" James shouted at the top of his lungs.  
  
"For the love of Merlin, James, THEY BOUNCE!" Sirius shouted back.  
  
"Fine. I'll prove it to you!" With a swish of his wand, James had transfigured Sirius into a goldfish. He then proceeded to pick him up by the tail, and drop him onto the ground. James noted that the goldfish/Sirius did not bounce, before changing him back to his usual form, and preparing to run.  
  
"So there. They don't bounce."  
  
Sirius got up slowly, clutching his backside.  
  
"You're dead James!" he roared.  
  
James jumped and ran from the common room, shouting over his shoulder, "Just emphasizing a point!"  
  
A/N: Well there it is. The promised "Goldfish Scene." Looks like the Garden Gnome won, though: It didn't get in here till chapter ten. Oh well. Not to worry, because we've been hard at work during lunchtimes to bring you the scene dubbed the "Bum Scene". It's much better than the "Goldfish Scene". Of course, if we don't get reviews, you don't get chapters, so R/R, k? 


	11. chapter eleven

Disclaimer: If you can guess which bits belong to anyone other than Sploogal and the Garden Gnome, you must have a brain! Then again, it's so blatantly obvious which bits we don't own, you wouldn't even need to have a brain to tell.  
  
Chapter eleven  
  
James was looking a little off colour the next morning. In fact, he had somehow wound up with purple and yellow polka-dots, and fluoro pink hair! Those people who noticed this also saw that Sirius was looking particularly pleased with himself.  
  
"Ill wipe that smirk off his face," James hissed to Remus.  
  
"As long as I don't get caught in the middle of it again, do whatever you like to him!" Remus replied. "Actually, don't tell him that I said so, but I think he'd look rather nice with little bunnies on him."  
  
James nodded, and pointed his wand at Sirius. A few seconds later, Sirius had sprouted fur and whiskers, and there were small bunnies riding broomsticks around his robes. Sirius in turn covered Remus' robes with psychedelic flowers. Remus then turned his wand on James, who ended up with sleeping teddy-bears against a baby blue background on his robes.  
  
The three of them entered the Great Hall trying not to laugh at their ridiculous appearances. When they boarded the Hogwarts Express later that morning, they still had on their modified robes, and they immediately began writing out a new prank list for the following year.  
  
The door slid open, and Lily and Yvonne came in.  
  
"Do you mind if we sit in here?" Yvonne asked.  
  
James hid the list as all three of them nodded. Yvonne sat next to Remus (Garden Gnome: No surprises there) and Lily sat in between James and Sirius. After they had been chatting for a while, the door slid open, and Snape strutted in.  
  
"I was looking for a place to sit, but I don't want to be anywhere near you lot. We respectable wizards don't like being contaminated by you filthy mudbloods," he glanced at Lily, "Or you ridiculous mudblood lovers." He glared at Sirius, Remus, and especially at James.  
  
Lily stood up with her wand out, ready to curse Snape. Sirius also took out his wand, but, as it turned out, he didn't need it, as before he could act, James had stepped in front of Lily, and there was a loud "BANG!" Snape walked out of the compartment covered from head to toe in mud, clearly thinking that the marauders just weren't worth the effort. Lily, Yvonne, Remus, Sirius, and James burst out laughing, and even Lily agreed that Snape deserved what he got. When they got off the train at platform 9 3/4, all their parents were waiting for them. James and Lily's parents were all very surprised to see James with his arm around Lily's waist, and Sirius, Remus, and Yvonne tagging behind them making rude comments at their backs.  
  
James noticed his parents staring a few seconds after Lily did. After extremely smug looks at Sirius, his mother, and Petunia, he grabbed Lily dramatically and kissed her. (Sploogal: Hehe. HEHE.) Lily, to the shock and amusement of everyone watching, didn't seem to mind, and embraced James tightly before the two of them separated, and walked through the barrier with their stunned parents. Sirius and Remus ran to catch up with James, leaving Yvonne alone with her parents.  
  
"Well, we've had an interesting year!" She commented, walking towards the barrier with her parents.  
  
A/N: There it is. The end of the marauder's third year. No, this story's not finished. We still have to write about the summer holidays, the "Bum Scene" and the next four years, so keep reading, and please review! I've found the name of the mysterious reviewer from a previous chapter whose name I couldn't find. It is "Two Bored Idiots". Interesting name. Well, thanks again to "Two Bored Idiots" and Silvia for their reviews on chappie nine! Much appreciated! 


	12. chapter twelve

Disclaimer: Garden Gnome: Not ours. Sploogal: Not ours. Both: Except for Yvonne and the plot. They're ours.  
  
Chapter twelve  
  
"DING DONG"  
  
"Lily! Your freaky little friend is here," yelled Lily's sister, Petunia.  
  
Petunia was not a witch, and she had a very low opinion of anyone who was.  
  
"LILY! Get your freaky little ass down here!"  
  
Lily suddenly appeared in the doorway, wearing James' cloak.  
  
"How'd you. . . No, don't tell me! Just leave!"  
  
Lily rolled her eyes at her sister. She carried her overnight bag to the door, where Petunia glared at her before stepping aside, and greeted Yvonne. She said a polite goodbye to Petunia, and vanished with Yvonne. (Sploogal: Yes, we know they're not allowed to apparate, it just works better this way. If the marauders could be underage, unregistered animagis, why couldn't Lily and Yvonne aparate?)  
  
Yvonne and Lily took the train to Yvonne's house, which was just down the road from Remus' house. When they got to Yvonne's house, they immediately began to get ready for the party.  
  
*At Remus' house*  
  
James knocked politely on the door, but got no response. Sirius banged loudly on the door, and yelled for Remus to "Get your but down here, birthday boy!"  
  
They heard the sound of running footsteps, and then the door opened. Remus and his father stood before them, panting. James and Sirius both snapped sloppy salutes at Remus' father before running upstairs with Remus.  
  
"So, when are the girls getting here?" James asked Remus.  
  
"Yeah, 'cause you know he wouldn't have come if Lily wasn't coming," laughed Sirius, evading an attack from James.  
  
"They'll be here soon, so quit fooling around, guys!" Said a bemused Remus.  
  
"Oooh. Remus is in lo-ove!" Chanted James and Sirius.  
  
Remus tackled them. Remus' mother entered the room a moment later. "What's all this noise?" She asked before looking at the three boys, who were now sprawled on the floor. "Oh. James and Sirius are here. I should have guessed." She laughed. "Well, I thought you should know, there are two beautiful girls downst-"  
  
Before she could finish her sentence, Remus and James had rushed through the door, leaving her alone with Sirius.  
  
"It's a disaster! My two best friends are love sick," Sirius sighed dramatically, flinging his arms in the air, before heading down the stairs to join his friends.  
  
*A little later*  
  
"Mandy," Remus' father said to Remus' mother.  
  
"Yes, Michael?"  
  
"The Bones' have been attacked. Voldemort. Harry wants all Aurors on site." Michael said grimly. (A/N To prevent confusion, we should tell you that Harry is short for Harold, who is James' dad.)  
  
Amanda (Mandy) had her hand over her mouth. "Oh dear. We can't leave those boys on their own - they'll destroy the house! They'll hate me for this, but, the girls?"  
  
*Michael and Mandy call everyone together immediately*  
  
"Kids, the Bones' have been attacked. Harry wants all Aurors to get down there.  
  
"Not tonight!" Groaned an annoyed and worried Remus.  
  
"My dad's out there?" Asked James, also worried.  
  
"Since we can't expect the boys to be able to keep the house intact," (Sirius and James exchanged mischievous glances, while Remus rolled his eyes.) "Would you girls like to stay over and keep an eye on them?" Mandy asked Lily and Yvonne.  
  
Remus and Sirius mouthed silently, while James shook his head fervently, looking very panicked. Lily looked at James and smiled sweetly.  
  
"Of course, Mrs Lupin," Lily and Yvonne chorused.  
  
A/N There goes another chappie! I'm trying to get up to date with this now, so that you guys don't get too annoyed with us in a couple of weeks when we go on exams. I doubt that a certain friend of ours *Cough* Nina *Cough* will let us write too much during the next couple of weeks, but we will try! R/R ok? 


	13. chapter thirteen

Disclaimer: Hey, guess what? We don't own anything that's already owned by the great JK!  
  
Chapter thirteen  
  
"I can't believe your parents think we need babysitters!" Fumed James.  
  
"Yeah, it's not like we'd trash the house or anything," Sirius continued.  
  
"Well," added James, "Not intentionally anyway."  
  
Remus raised an eyebrow, and opened his mouth to reply, when Yvonne's voice floated up from the kitchen. "Dinner time children!"  
  
The three boys ran into the dining-room.  
  
"What in the name of Merlin."  
  
"Stir-fry, Sirius. Stir-fry!" Lily replied as James and Remus sniggered.  
  
Sirius rolled his eyes. "You don't say. Actually, I was talking about these sticks!"  
  
"They're called chopsticks. You hold them like-" Yvonne paused to pick up a pair of chopsticks, "Like this."  
  
It took the boys ten whole minutes before they were able to hold the chopsticks correctly. They weren't helped by the girls' constant giggling.  
  
"Osh kish moo" Sirius 'spoke', his mouth full.  
  
Lily and Yvonne raised their eyebrows at him.  
  
"So maybe you do need babysitters after all!" Exclaimed Lily.  
  
They ate in silence after that.  
  
"We made dinner, so you boys can wash up," Said Yvonne.  
  
The boys started to protest, but the girls already had their wands out.  
  
"Now."  
  
*Later that evening.*  
  
"We really need to get them back!" Said James determinedly.  
  
"For once, I have to agree with you, but what can we do?" Sirius wondered aloud. "They've already seen our prank list!"  
  
"We could write them a letter," suggested James.  
  
"Oh, great Merlin, James! You want to write Lily a love-letter? You are a complete and utter disgrace to the name of wizards everywhere! To the name of marauders, and to -"  
  
"Sirius, SHUT UP!" Remus and James yelled in unison.  
  
"I didn't mean it like that." James said. "Remus, a quill? And some parchment?"  
  
Remus handed James the requested materials, eagerly awaiting the new, and undoubtedly crazy idea from James' mind. James thought for a moment before beginning to write.  
  
*In the next room*  
  
"You do realise that they're going to prank us now, don't you?"  
  
"What will come, will come." Lily replied absently.  
  
"What's up with you?" Yvonne asked, worried.  
  
"Nothing," Lily insisted.  
  
"Lil's, I can read you like a b-" Yvonne was cut off by the sight of an owl soaring through the window.  
  
The owl, which looked oddly familiar, had a letter. Lily untied the letter, and the owl immediately flew back out of the window, and into the night. Lily read the note aloud.  
  
"Come here, take off your pants, get on top of me until you are fully satisfied."  
  
"Who's it from? Asked Yvonne, with a disgusted look on her face.  
  
"I don't know." Lily skimmed down the page. "Wait, it says: Lovingly, your toilet."  
  
"Right. Time to teach them a lesson." Stated Yvonne. "Hmmmm.. Follow me."  
  
Yvonne ran down to the kitchen, grabbed a bucket, and filled it with water. She then pointed her wand at it.  
  
She cried, "I colori," and the room was briefly illuminated by a rainbow of colours. "Come on, let's get them out of that room."  
  
*Ten minutes later* "Come and get your ice-cream boys!" Called Lily and Yvonne.  
  
The boys thundered down the stairs, and started wolfing down their ice- cream, as the girls snuck off to rig up their bucket with a hover charm.  
  
The girls sat on the floor in the boys' room.  
  
"Now, on the count of three, we scream." Instructed Yvonne. "One, two, three."  
  
Both girls screamed at the top of their lungs. Moments later, James burst into the room, his wand out, and concern written all over his face. The look of concern quickly turned to shock.  
  
The bucket had fallen on him, and he was now blue, red, yellow - all the colours of the rainbow. The colours were moving about in swirls and splodges. Lily and Yvonne quickly took a photo, then ran back into their room, locking the door behind them.  
  
"They are so asking for it!" James stated, as he stormed into the bathroom with a howling Sirius and Remus in tow.  
  
While James was getting rid of the colours, Sirius and Remus paid the girls a visit.  
  
*A few minutes later*  
  
"What are you doing in here?" Demanded James of Sirius and Remus.  
  
"We were just leaving," Replied Remus.  
  
"Just write it on a bit of parchment, and we'll take care of it for you," Sirius said to Lily, before Sirius and James left the room.  
  
"Can we move our sleeping bags into the lounge, Remus?" Asked Lily.  
  
"Yeah, sure. Just watch James - he wants revenge." Warned Remus.  
  
"Oh well," Lily said. "Let him tr-" She stopped short as ice cubes made their way down the back of her robes. "JAMES! YOUR ARE DEAD!"  
  
James cackled hysterically as he ran down the hall.  
  
A/N So, what do you think of that? More chappies soon! R/R k? We meant it when we said that stuff about certain characters dying. If you don't want anyone to die, well, we suggest you review! (Bum scene coming up soon! Hehe.) 


	14. chapter fourteen

Disclaimer: Again, we must say: JK owns all the Harry Potter stuff that you recognize. Got it?  
  
Chapter fourteen  
  
"So, James. Truth or dare?" Asked Sirius.  
  
"Um. Dare." James answered.  
  
"Ok. Let me see.. What to do, what to do?"  
  
"Just hurry up already," James said, rolling his eyes.  
  
Sirius leaned over to Remus and whispered in his ear. Remus grinned and whispered back, before speaking to James.  
  
"Follow me."  
  
"Lily? You still good?" Called Sirius.  
  
"What? Lily?" Spluttered James.  
  
As Lily descended the stairs leading down from the girls' room, James noted that she looked a little pale. She handed a piece of parchment to Sirius, and spoke to Remus and Sirius.  
  
"You'd better hold up your end!"  
  
"Don't worry, Lily,' Said Remus. "We will."  
  
"Yeah, we may be a lot of things, but dishonest isn't one of them." Added Sirius.  
  
Lily looked satisfied, though she did look a little sick now. James, on the other hand, looked completely and utterly bewildered.  
  
"What's going on?" he demanded.  
  
Remus looked amused, and Sirius sniggered. Yvonne, who had come down the stairs with Lily, was obviously trying hard not to giggle. Sirius and Remus shoved James and Lily into a small closet, which was usually used for cloaks, and Remus magically sealed the door.  
  
"Two hours, James!" Shouted Sirius.  
  
"Unless you'd rather chicken out on a dare?"  
  
"As if! And, in case you'd forgotten, it's my turn next!" Yelled James. 'You'll pay!"  
  
Remus and Sirius sniggered, and left the room.  
  
"So, how'd they get you into this?" James spat at Lily.  
  
"Well, we have a little agreement," Lily started, but was interrupted by James.  
  
"Wait, you mean. Sirius agreed with something?"  
  
Lily looked at James as though he was something very stupid, but the look was wasted in the dark.  
  
"Ok, whatever it is, I don't want to know." Said James.  
  
"Good, because I wasn't going to tell you!" Huffed Lily. "Move your fat ass over! I'm squished."  
  
"My ass isn't fat," said James indignantly. "And I'm already squished!"  
  
"No you're not, and yes it is! It's bigger than Professor Sprout's bum!"  
  
"Is not! And besides, your butt's bigger than mine, so you can't talk! - OOOF!!!"  
  
Lily had sat on James.  
  
"GET YOUR FAT ASS OUTTA MY FACE!" roared James.  
  
"Not until you take that back!"  
  
"Never!"  
  
"Then I'm sure you'll have a very enjoyable couple of hours in here!"  
  
"Ha! You started it, and besides, aren't you the one always telling me to act my age?"  
  
"So?"  
  
"So? So? What do you mean, so?"  
  
"I mean, you're setting a bad example." Said Lily.  
  
"Ok, now that you've thrown all logic out the window, we might be able to have a halfway normal discussion!!!"  
  
"Huh?" Now it was Lily's turn to be confused.  
  
"I mean. WHO'S SITTING ON WHO HERE?"  
  
James stood up, flipping a disgruntled Lily on her backside.  
  
"Fine. Be that way."  
  
A/N Was that good? We must apologize, because there is a sorta sloppy scene coming up in the next chapter. Also, it will probably be a few weeks before we update a lot again, like we have been the last couple of days, because we have work experience and exams and all that. Wish us luck, k? Please review! Some people have been nice, but some people (you know who you are) haven't. We'd like those people to come forward and be nice. All it takes is: Click. Type. Click. Easy, hey? 


	15. chapter fifteen

Disclaimer: We don't own Harry Potter. We also don't own James, just in case you hadn't realized. Sploogal wishes she owned James, though, 'cause he's hot! Oh, and the idea at the end of this chappie where Lily and James 'exit' the closet was Britty-Bum's idea, not ours. All praise Britty-Bum!  
  
Chapter fifteen  
  
The two of them sat in silence for a quarter of an hour before Lily spoke again.  
  
"James," She prompted.  
  
James grunted to show that he was listening.  
  
"How did you know that goldfish don't bounce?"  
  
James felt a blush creeping up his neck. He was glad that it was dark inside the closet.  
  
"I, well."  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I had a pet goldfish once (For some reason, the Garden Gnome found the idea of James having a pet goldfish absolutely hilarious. Sploogal don't get it.), and my brother and I, well." James paused, not really looking forward to Lily exploding again. "We played catch with it once, and I missed a catch, and it, well, it kinda went through the window."  
  
He winced, waiting for the shouts that he was sure would be coming from Lily soon. To his surprise, she let out a giggle. Of course, she quickly regained her composure.  
  
"Well, that wasn't exactly the reaction I was expecting!" James told her, feeling quite relieved.  
  
"Well," Lily started, "If you'd like me to."  
  
"NO!" James cut in quickly. "No, I don't think that's really necessary!"  
  
They sat in silence for a further ten minutes. James tried to keep his thoughts off Lily, but gave up after the first minute. Lily was having similar problems. James suddenly realized that he didn't know a single thing about his the girl he was fantasizing about.  
  
"Lily, um." James trailed off.  
  
"Lily what?"  
  
"I well," Oh God! Thought James. I sound like a complete fool! He tried again. "I, well, I sorta just realized that, well, I don't really know anything about you."  
  
"And?" Lily was surprised. Maybe James, the boy of her dreams (Sploogal: Hehe Gnome's gonna kill me for putting that in.) wasn't as immature as she'd thought.  
  
Why does she have to make this so hard for me? James thought, a little annoyed. "Well, I guess, if we're gonna be stuck in here for ages anyway, I want to get to know you a little better."  
  
"Well, what do you want to know?"  
  
"You know, like, about your family and your childhood, and. stuff?"  
  
"Well," Lily was quite taken aback by this, but answered anyway. "I have a sister, Petunia. We used to get along really well together, but since I got my letter from Hogwarts, she's hardly spoken to me. My parents are both muggles, and they're pretty excited about me being a witch and all. What about you? What's your family like?"  
  
James hadn't been expecting her to ask about his family. The Potters were very well known, and most people had a fair idea of what they were like. Or, at least, they thought they did. Her question caught him off guard.  
  
"Well, I have an older brother. He's finished school, and he works for the ministry. I don't know what he does, really, except that he works in the Department of Mysteries. My parents are both Aurors. My dad's not home much, but when he is, we always go and play quidditch out in the field."  
  
"I wondered how you got to be such a good chaser!" Said Lily. She hesitated before speaking again. "I know you're always going out with girls - you and Sirius. I have to know: Did any of them. Did they really mean anything to you?" She hoped that the answer was 'No'.  
  
"What? You mean, did I love them?" James asked, completely shocked by her question.  
  
"Yes." Too late to take it back now.  
  
"Well," (I'm impressed, thought Lily. He's actually taking this seriously!) "I cared for them, but I didn't love them. How could I, when I." He stopped suddenly.  
  
"You what?"  
  
"I only have eyes for you." (Sploogal: YES!!! ULTRA FLUFF!!!) Oh man, thought James. I'm gonna kill those two for this.  
  
"You do?" Lily was astonished. Yes, she'd had a major crush on him since their first year, but she'd never thought he'd give her a second look.  
  
Suddenly, and with neither of the two having any idea how it had happened, their arms were around each others' bodies, and they were kissing. (Sploogal: And groping. Garden Gnome: *shudders and swats Sploogal with big humungous atlas*) At this moment, Remus, Sirius, and Yvonne crept down the stairs and tip-toed towards the closet.  
  
"It's quiet." Commented Sirius.  
  
"You don't suppose they've killed each other?" Queried Sirius.  
  
Unnoticed by the two occupants of the closet, Remus silently undid the locking spell that he had cast upon the door, and Sirius pulled it open. Lily and James, who had been leaning against the inside of the door, snogging, fell out of the closet, and landed in a tangle of arms and legs, with Lily on top of James. There was only stunned silence from Sirius, Remus, and Yvonne, while Lily and James (both bright red) struggled to get to their feet.  
  
"Well, it's a good thing that your bum was there to break our fall," commented Lily to James, breaking the silence.  
  
Lily ran up the stairs, closely followed by Yvonne, and the boys heard a door slam somewhere on the upper story of the house. This left an extremely embarrassed James standing in the middle of the floor, with a hysterical Sirius rolling around in fits of laughter. Remus was sitting on the couch, still staring at James.  
  
"What the hell was that all about?" Remus asked.  
  
A/N Well, that's probably all you're getting for a couple of weeks, although we will try to update at least once before then. Don't go away ok? It's not finished. Please review, and wish us luck in our icky disgusting EVIL exams! (Exams which finish 3 days before Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is to be released!!! Yay! We'll have time to read the most holy of books!) 


	16. chapter sixteen

Disclaimer: All praise the great JK, the owner of Harry Potter's world!!! (Garden Gnome and Sploogal do not, in any way, claim to be associated with JK, nor are we making money off this. We wish we were though.)  
  
Chapter Sixteen  
  
An owl suddenly swooped into the room, and landed next to Remus. Remus untied the letter, and the owl flew back outside. Remus opened the letter, and read;  
  
"Kids, Sorry, we can't make it home tonight. Get to bed at a decent hour, and we'll see you tomorrow. Mandy."  
  
The letter had obviously been written hastily, and Remus' mother's writing wasn't very smooth or neat as it usually was. It looked like Mandy's hand had been shaking as she wrote it.  
  
Remus called the girls down, and gave them the letter.  
  
"What do you suppose this is all about?" Lily asked.  
  
"I dunno. The probably just got held up at the ministry. It happens sometimes." Remus replied.  
  
James, who had been lying on the couch, stood up suddenly, and walked towards the stairs. Sirius and Remus made to follow him.  
  
"Where are you going?" Yvonne called.  
  
"Upstairs! Where do you think?" Sirius shot back.  
  
At this point, James shocked them all by saying "I'm going to bed."  
  
"What? Has snogging with Lily tired you out?"  
  
"Shut up Sirius!" yelled Lily and James in unison.  
  
James looked at Lily and blushed when he saw her looking straight back at him. Both of them looked away.  
  
"Actually," he said, turning to Sirius, "I'm not feeling too god. I just want to sleep."  
  
With that, he stormed up the stairs, leaving behind four very confused teenagers.  
  
*The next day, at lunch*  
  
"James, eat your veggies," said Lily sternly.  
  
"I don't wanna." James retorted.  
  
"Yeah, James! Have some peas!" Said Sirius.  
  
Sirius took out his wand, and pointed it at James' peas. The peas took to the air, whizzing around James' head. James glared at Sirius, plucked a pea out of the air, and threw it onto Sirius' plate, where it grew to be twice the size of a large pumpkin.  
  
"I said, I don't wanna!" James yelled, still glaring at Sirius.  
  
Sirius, unable to take a hint, took the pea, and put it on James' head. (Sploogal: When we say on, we mean, on. James' head was inside the pea.)  
  
"Aaah goon yomma!" Came the sound of James' voice from inside the pea.  
  
Remus took out his wand, and seconds later, the pea was off James' head, and shrunk back to its usual size.  
  
"No wands at the table," said Yvonne.  
  
"Expelliarmus!" Yelled Lily.  
  
She now held all three boys' wands in her hand, in addition to her own.  
  
"Now, eat your veggies," said Lily. "All three of you!"  
  
While Sirius and Remus meekly obeyed, James pushed his plate away, and stormed up the stairs. A door was hear slamming somewhere above them.  
  
"What's up with him?" Asked Yvonne.  
  
"He said he's not feeling too good, remember?" Replied Sirius, doubtfully.  
  
"I think something's up," said Lily, and dashed up the stairs to find James.  
  
Lily, unnoticed by James, opened the door to the room that he had slammed into. She watched as an owl swooped into the room. James untied the letter and opened it as the owl took off again. Lily was astounded to see that, as he read the letter, he turned white as a sheet, and began to shake uncontrollably.  
  
Lily quickly crossed the room and sat down next to him on the bed. She put an arm around him and asked what was wrong. Still shaking, he handed her the letter. He buried his face in his hands as she read it.  
  
A/N Another cliffie!!! Yes!!! We are so cruel!!! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I (Sploogal) am having technical problems at the moment, so I don't have your names here, but I promise they'll be up with the next chapter. Just so that you know, before you find out what's in the letter, WE DID NOT ENJOY WRITING IT, but it had to be done. It just fits. Apologies in advance to anyone who doesn't think we should have done it. Next chappie up soon. R/R ppls! 


	17. chapter seventeen

Disclaimer: Yep. We know. We don't own the world of Harry Potter. Sploogal: I wish we did though, because then, I could nick off with a time- turner, and go back to James' time, and kiss that hot spunk! Garden Gnome: And why would you wanna do that? He's ugly! Sploogal: I have a file, and I'm not afraid to use it. Death to James- haters! Garden Gnome: Eep!  
  
Chapter seventeen  
  
Sirius tapped on the already open door.  
  
"James, can we come in?"  
  
Sirius, Remus, and Yvonne entered the room when Lily nodded to them.  
  
"What's up?"  
  
James simply groaned and gave Sirius the letter, which he read aloud.  
  
"Dear Mr Potter, We are sorry to inform you that Harold and Evelyn Potter were killed in action last night whilst fighting against a group of death-eaters. They will be sorely missed. Your brother, Orion Potter, has been informed, and has agreed, as your only living relative, to take care of you until you come of age. Deepest sympathies, Alastor Moody Department of Magical Law Enforcement"  
  
The resulting silence was broken by Sirius' shout.  
  
"THE BASTARDS!!!"  
  
He kicked the bed "Yeow!" and hopped around the room, clutching his toe in both hands.  
  
The group burst into nervous laughter. (Garden Gnome: Yes, there it is again. Sploogal: Quit with the bursting already!) Even James smiled weakly.  
  
"Thanks Sirius. Thanks guys," He whispered.  
  
James got up, crossed the room, and entered the bathroom, locking the door securely behind him. The other four pressed their ears up against the door, but all that could be heard was complete silence.  
  
(Sploogal: *Sniff sniff* I feel so awful now. We shouldn't have done that. Poor James, the god of hotness!)  
  
That afternoon, Sirius, Remus, Lily and Yvonne were sitting around the table, unsure of what to say to each other, or to James, who was standing just inside the doorway. The fire roared, and out stepped Orion. His eyes roamed the room, finally landing on the figure in the doorway.  
  
"James," he croaked.  
  
In two strides, Orion had covered the room, and he threw his arms around his brother. The two stood silently, for what seemed like forever, with tears coursing silently down both brothers' cheeks.  
  
Two 'pop's announced Mandy and Michael Lupin's arrival. They immediately went to sit on the couch in the middle of the room. They were followed by two more 'pop's, and Orion and Juliette Black. (Orion Potter was named after Orion Black, who was Harold Potter's best friend. To prevent any confusion, we'll call Orion Potter, Rion, and Orion Black, Ori, or Mr Black. Ok?)  
  
After a short and quiet discussion, it was decided that Remus and his parents would accompany Lily and Yvonne home, while James, Rion, Ori, Sirius, and Juliette would return to the Black's house for the afternoon.  
  
A/N More coming soon. 


	18. chapter eighteen

Disclaimer: We don't own most of these characters. JK does though. A/N: Errr. After reading the fifth book (Yay! It's finally out and it's great! If you haven't read it, what are you doing reading fanfic? Go and get it, and READ IT!) we've realised that the characters in this fic aren't how they're supposed to be, but we'll just ignore that and finish the fic the same way that we planned it before we read book five. If you guys want us to, I (Sploogal) reckon we (or I) could write another fic after this one with the characters as they should be according to the Order of the Phoenix. Now, on with the story.  
  
Chapter Eighteen  
  
(Sploogal: Sorry, I know we said we'd give you the story now, but we've decided to skip Mr and Mrs Potter's funeral and the worst part of the grief period and all that, so this bit is a month or so after the deaths or James' folks, still during school holidays, and James and Rion are still sensitive about their folks, but they're not still too upset. Thanks for you're patience!)  
  
"Rion?"  
  
James ran through the Potter mansion, calling for his brother, but Rion was nowhere to be found.  
  
"RION!!!"  
  
"Great Merlin, James! I'm just here!" Rion mumbled through a mouthful of chocolate cake as he stepped out of the kitchen.  
  
"Oh, good," said James, panting. "Can I go to a friend's house for the week?"  
  
"Who? Which friend?" Asked Rion, stuffing the rest of the cake into his mouth.  
  
"Just. A friend,' James replied, knowing that he'd never hear the end of it if Rion knew that he wanted to spend the week at Lily's.  
  
"Well, it would be very irresponsible of me to allow a child in my care to go off to some random friend's house for a whole week, wouldn't it?" Rion didn't really mind James going off for the week, but he intended to take full advantage of the fact that he now had authority over James.  
  
"Please, Rion? Trust me, it's not just some random, Ok?" Oh no, thought James. He's not going to let me go until I tell him!  
  
"Who is it?"  
  
Silence prevailed as James blushed, scuffing his foot on the floor. Rion sniggered. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?" James accused.  
  
"Who is she? Have I met her?"  
  
"Umm. You've seen her."  
  
"Well?"  
  
James, turning an even deeper shade of red, handed his brother a letter. Rion took the letter and read it aloud in a girlish voice: "Dear James,  
Would you like to come and  
stay at my house for the week?  
If you can, come over anytime  
on Monday, alright?  
Hope to see you soon!  
Love, Lily.  
xxoo"  
  
Rion was obviously trying hard to suppress a laugh. James glared at him.  
  
"Can I go?"  
  
"Sure. What? Did you think I'd say 'no'? Go and pack your stuff, and send an owl to this Lily girl. Tell her I'll take you over there around midday tomorrow.  
  
At this, James hugged Rion around the middle, turned, punched the air, gave a shout, and ran up the stairs to his room.  
  
*The next day*  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Aargh!" Yelped Lily. "Didn't your mother ever teach you to knock?!"  
  
Lily regretted the words as soon as they had left her mouth. She blushed and started to apologise, when Rion, who had portkey'd (Garden Gnome: That word doesn't exist you idiot! Sploogal: Well it does now.) in with James, cut her off.  
  
"It's Ok. You're alright, aren't you James?"  
  
James, who had paled slightly at the mention of his mother, nodded. He pointed at the painting that Lily was working on.  
  
"That's nice. I didn't know you painted."  
  
Lily immediately got up and covered her work.  
  
"Shall we go down to the kitchen? My parents can't wait to meet you."  
  
As soon as they stepped into the kitchen, James' are was grabbed by a hand belonging to a very thin, very pale girl.  
  
"Hi," the girl purred. "My name is Petunia."  
  
James shook her hand off.  
  
"Oh, er. hi." He replied through a forced smile.  
  
"So, what's you're name then?" Petunia asked, batting her eyelashes.  
  
Behind them, Rion caught Lily's eye and pretended to gag. Lily hid a smile and stepped in front of James.  
  
"It's James, and he's taken." She said coldly, glaring at her sister. "Where are mum and dad? Oh, this is Orion by the way. James' brother."  
  
"It's Rion. Pleased to meet you." Rion extended a hand, which Petunia reluctantly shook. (Sploogal: Although there is great family resemblance between the two brothers, James has that little I don't know what that makes him significantly hotter than Rion.)  
  
"Mum and dad are in the living room, freak." Petunia emphasized her last word by pushing Lily into the wall on her way out of the room.  
  
James and Rion stared after Petunia, shocked at her behaviour. Lily, however, just looked frustrated, and shrugged her shoulders. She walked out of the room, motioning for James and Rion to follow.  
  
*In the living room*  
  
"Thanks for having James, Mrs Evans," Rion said. "I wasn't sure what I was going to do with him this week, with work and all."  
  
"That's fine. Anyway, it's Rose." Replied Lily's mum, extending her hand towards Rion.  
  
"Orion Potter. Umm, Rion." Rion responded. "Thanks again. If he gives you any trouble, just send me an owl, and don't, under any circumstances, leave him alone in the house!"  
  
James punched Rion. "I only did that once or twice!" "Try twelve," said Rion, punching him back. "And that's not counting the time you stuck all the furniture to the ceiling!"  
  
"Well, you did tell me to tidy up!" James retorted.  
  
"Great Merlin!" Said Rion, looking at his watch. 'I was supposed to be at the Ministry ten minutes ago! Old Mad-Eye'll be after my head!"  
  
"I thought you didn't work Mondays anymore?" Said James, worry written all over his face.  
  
"Well, with that snake, sorry, with Voldemort gaining power like he is, we need all hands on deck. I'll see you next week." He thanked Mr and Mrs Evens again, and dissapparated.  
  
A/N Window and Potato Scenes coming up soon, so don't go away! Yes! We've finished reading the fifth book! We had to get out of bed at 5:30 am to get it, but we got it! And we read it! Sploogal: I can't decide if I liked it or not. I mean, he was my favourite character. How could he be dead? Garden Gnome: I know what you mean. That was downright uncalled for. Sploogal: How could he be. *Bursts into tears* Garden Gnome: *Sniff* his memory lives on in all our hearts. *Sniff* Sploogal: JK is a cruel bitch. Garden Gnome: I agree. But let's not dwell on that. Sploogal: I spose. It was a good book, other than that, so I guess she's not all bad. If you haven't read the Order of the Phoenix, what are you doing here? Go and read it. This instant. If you're still here, see that little button, down and to the left? Click on it. We want reviews. If you've read the book, and you have some time on your hands, could you send an email to chocolateisnotforbreakfast@hotmail.com and tell us what you thought of it? Particularly page 710 (Aussie version think that's the English version, dunno what page it is in the American one) where that person dies? I (Sploogal) am just sorta curious to know what kind of reaction you guys had to it. 


	19. chapter nineteen

Disclaimer: Ummm. How's this? We don't own anything that you recognise.  
  
Chapter nineteen  
  
Lily knocked on the door of the room that James was staying in. Silence. She entered the room.  
  
'Still asleep. It's almost midday!' She though to herself. 'And through that racket too!'  
  
The rain was pounding on the window above James' head. After glancing at the window, and at James' sleeping figure, a wicked smile formed on Lily's lips. She reached over and opened the window, allowing the rain to pour in all over James, who immediately woke up.  
  
"Sirius! YOU ARE DEAD!!!" He screamed, jumping out of bed.  
  
"I'll be sure to give him the message, then." Lily responded, grabbing James' arm. "C'mon, I've got something to show you!"  
  
"Lils! I'm only wearing boxers!" James whined, blushing.  
  
"Don't worry, Petunia will still love you." Lily replied, rolling her eyes, and began to pull him into the hallway.  
  
James looked horrified. "All the more reason to change then!"  
  
He wrenched his arm out of her grasp, ran into his room, and slammed the door shut.  
  
*A few minutes later, in Lily's room.*  
  
"Wow."  
  
Lily had painted a picture of James standing with the rest of his family. (Sirius had given her a photo to work off.)  
  
"Wow? Is that all I get?"  
  
"No," James turned to Lily. "You get this too."  
  
He turned to her, and kissed her quickly on the cheek. She looked disappointed, so he threw his arms around her, and began to kiss her all over (Sploogal: Please don't hurt me, Gnome. That's better than a quick kiss and a hug!) when. . .  
  
"LUNCH!"  
  
The two slowly, and reluctantly broke apart.  
  
"Damn it." James swore. Could he have no time alone with Lily without being interrupted? "C'mon," said Lily. Mum's making bangers and mash!  
  
"Oh, great! Mashed potato!" James exclaimed with a glint in his eye.  
  
"DON'T YOU DARE!" Lily told him sternly.  
  
James said nothing in return, but walked out of the room, motioning for Lily to follow. Lily rolled her eyes as she did so.  
  
A/N Ok, we know. That was short. The next one's a little longer, I think. Also, the Potato Scene is in the next chappie. You know what to do from here: Point, click, type. 


	20. chapter twenty

Disclaimer: Sploogal: Aww. We have to say it again? Garden Gnome: Yup. Sploogal: Ahem. Garden Gnome: You do it. Sploogal: No, you! Garden Gnome: No, you! Sugar Plum Fairy (Nina): Oh, for God's sake you two! Sploogal + Garden Gnome: *Hang heads in shame* Sugar Plum Fairy: That's better. Now say it. Sploogal + Garden Gnome: JK owns Harry Potter.  
  
Chapter twenty  
  
James hadn't had a chance to meet Lily's parent's properly yet, as they had gone out for dinner the previous night.  
  
"So, how was your year at school?" Lily's dad, Jakob Evans, was trying to find out as much as possible about Lily's new boyfriend.  
  
"Well, if it weren't for my exam results, I think I probably would have been expelled. Sirius and Remus and I had a lot of fun this year!" James replied. "OUCH!"  
  
Lily had kicked him under the table. James blushed and tried to make amends under Lily's stern look.  
  
"But I made Quidditch captain for Gryffindor! I play Seeker for the team."  
  
Lily rolled her eyes at the mention of Quidditch, but her sister looked simply horrified.  
  
"You. . . You're a wizard?" She spat.  
  
"Um, yeah?" James sounded a little confused. "What else would I be?"  
  
"So. You're a freak like her, then." Petunia was quite irate. "Hmph. If you ask me, your parents deserved to die."  
  
Silence prevailed as Petunia looked triumphant, and the rest of the Evans' looked shocked. James' face turned very white, and he struggled to keep himself from cursing Petunia.  
  
He whispered his reply through gritted teeth. "My parents died protecting your world from death-eaters: people who torture and kill muggles for fun. If it weren't for people like them, your world wouldn't even exist!"  
  
There was another uncomfortable silence, before Petunia spoke again. "Well, if it weren't for freaks like you, there wouldn't be a problem in the first place!"  
  
"That's enough, Petunia," Jakob said quietly, but forcefully.  
  
Petunia smirked at Lily and James, but she obeyed her father. The questions soon started again, and became increasingly specific. Lily kept her head down through most of it, not really listening to what was being said, but one question caught her attention.  
  
"Have you had a girlfriend before?"  
  
The question took James completely by surprise, and it showed on his face. Lily stifled a giggle, but she was curious to hear how James would respond to such a personal question. To her surprise, he blushed and muttered a monosyllable response.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Lily's parent's exchanged glances, and her mother asked him to continue. James shot Lily a confused look before obeying her mother.  
  
"Well, I've gone out with a few girls, but no-one I was really serious about."  
  
This seemed to please Petunia, but it obviously distressed Rose (Rose is Mrs Evans).  
  
"So, what about Lily?" Rose demanded.  
  
James could have drowned in his embarrassment.  
  
"I. err." he lowered his voice as if he didn't want Lily to hear, his face bright red. "I really like her."  
  
Petunia spent the next few minutes trying to insult James' parents without attracting the attention of her own parents. When her father frowned at her, she switched back to insulting Lily. After five minutes, James was ready to burst with anger. Lily was perfect! How dare Petunia insult her like this? He tried to control his temper, but. . .  
  
"PHBT!!!"  
  
The bowl of mashed potato that had been sitting in the middle of the table flew up into the air, and landed, up-side-down, on Petunia's head.  
  
Petunia screamed and pulled at the bowl on her head, as Lily laughed uncontrollably. Her parents were obviously torn between amusement and anxiety at the situation.  
  
James was upset that he'd let his temper get the better of him, and apologized profusely to Jakob and Rose. Jakob and Rose wouldn't hear of it and, when Petunia was out of earshot, Jakob actually congratulated James on shutting her up without hitting her. James was quite bewildered.  
  
"But I. . . It was an accident!" He spluttered.  
  
Lily just laughed even harder at this, and Rose patted James on the shoulder, apologising for Petunia's behaviour towards him. After that, James decided that he quite liked Lily's parents.  
  
The rest of the week passed uneventfully with Lily and James finding themselves quite unable to get a moment alone with each other. This frustrated James to no end, and he vowed to find a room, Lily, and an hour, before the holidays finished.  
  
On the last day of the week, Rion came to get James. He got quite annoyed at James when deliberately dawdled, in an attempt to buy more time with Lily.  
  
"Hurry up, James! I don't have all day!" He said wearily as James ran back to the room he'd been staying in, saying he'd forgotten something.  
  
"What's your rush?" Questioned James, walking back into the living room where Rion was standing.  
  
"I've got to get back to work before next year!" Rion huffed.  
  
"Again? Who's gonna play quidditch with me? You said you'd play today!"  
  
"I know what I said, and I'm sorry, but work is very busy at the moment. I just don't have time! We'll play next week, alright?" Rion pleaded. He didn't want an infamous 'James Potter explosion'.  
  
"Fine." James said grumpily, as Lily walked into the room with her parents.  
  
"I trust he wasn't too much trouble?" Rion asked Rose and Jakob. "Well, judging by the fact that your house is still intact, he behaved himself better for you than he does for me!"  
  
James punched Rion. "You're just jealous 'cause I'm a better prankster than you."  
  
"That was below the belt." Rion replied, reaching for his wand.  
  
James whipped out his own wand, and he had disarmed his brother before any damage could be done to him.  
  
"Put that away, you're underage!" Fumed Rion.  
  
"That never stopped you!"  
  
Rion chose to ignore James from that point onwards. Again, he turned to Lily's parents.  
  
"Excuse us. That was rude.' He said to the laughing couple. "Thanks again for having him."  
  
"Don't mention it. He's welcome back any time." Jakob replied.  
  
Rion, looking dumbfounded, demanded to know whether they were talking about the same James, and, if so, what James had done to get the Evans' to go along with this 'good behaviour story' This earned him a hard kick in the shin from James.  
  
"Actually, he really did behave himself this week. I've got no idea what could have made you think otherwise, Rion." Said Rose, breaking up the glaring competition taking place between the two brothers.  
  
Lily giggled and whispered something to her parents, who both became very wide-eyed very suddenly.  
  
"Well," said James, blushing. "I do have a bit of a reputation." He looked at Rion. "I thought you had to get back to work?"  
  
"Oh, great Merlin, I forgot! Ori's agreed to take you, Sirius, and Remus to Diagon Alley today, so I'll take you straight to his place."  
  
"Awesome!" James exclaimed. "Hey, Lily, how are you getting to Diagon Alley?"  
  
Lily looked at her parents, who said that they hadn't made plans to go into London yet.  
  
"Can she come with us then?" James asked Rion.  
  
"If she wants to, and if Rose and Jakob don't mind."  
  
Lily's parents agreed, and Rion and James explained portkeys to them.  
  
Rion gave James and Lily a small silver chain, and, after the two of them had left, he disapperated out of the muggle house.  
  
A/N Hey guys! Another chapter! Thanx to everyone who reviewed, and we will have more up soon. We don't have your names here, but we will thank you personally next chapter. R/R!!! 


	21. chapter twentyone

Disclaimer: I'm sick of writing these, and I'm sure you're sick of reading them, too. If anyone out there is interested, we don't own anything you recognise. Now, onwards and outwards, and up with your eyes! (Sploogal: Sorry, too much sugar!)  
  
Chapter twenty-one  
  
"Hey James! Um, hi Lily."  
  
Sirius and Remus ran across the field that was Sirius' front yard, to the door where James and Lily had portkey'd to.  
  
"Rion didn't say Lily was coming," Remus informed James and Lily. "Are we to assume that you two had a good week?"  
  
Sirius winked and nudged James, who shoved him backwards into Remus.  
  
"When are we leaving?" Lily asked Remus while James and Sirius staged a fight.  
  
"Actually, we're not. You'll see why when those two grow up a little and quit fighting." replied Remus. "It's a surprise for James."  
  
Sirius looked confused for a moment, bit then a look of comprehension dawned on his face. "Oh! I remember now. Come on James, we have to pick the teams!"  
  
"Teams? Teams for what?"  
  
Sirius rolled his eyes and replied slowly, as though speaking to a two-year- old. "The teams for the Potter/Black game, you git!"  
  
"Don't be stupid, Sirius! There're only two Potters left." Said James. "Well, maybe you're not being stupid. Without a full Potter team, maybe you Black's will stand a chance of winning! For the first time in ten years, I might add!"  
  
"And they're off again." Groaned Remus.  
  
While James and Sirius argued, Remus explained to Lily. "The Potter/Black game has been played every summer for centuries. They weren't sure how they'd do it this year, with half the Potters gone, but they've decided to keep the Black team all-Black, and the Potters will have James and Rion, and some of their friends. You should come and watch if you're not picked for the team: it's always an 'entertaining' day, especially with James and Sirius on opposing sides!"  
  
"I'll make a note of that." Lily replied. "James and Sirius - against each other!"  
  
"Kids! Come inside, it's time to pick the teams!"  
  
Sirius and Remus lead them inside. The entire Black family, Rion, his friend Blake, and Remus' parents were already crowded into the Black's living room, which was usually quite spacious. To Lily, it seemed that all of the Blacks in the world had turned up for this game. Sirius caught the astonished look on her face, and explained that all the Blacks in the world had indeed come.  
  
As James walked into the room, he was pelted by eggs that a member of the Black family (*cough* Ori *cough*) had been levitating above the door. Looking around, James realised that Rion, too, was covered in runny, eggy goo.  
  
"Over here James!" Rion called, motioning to a seat beside him and Blake.  
  
Sirius went the opposite way, to join his sister and cousin, and Remus and Lily decided to follow James.  
  
"I see he got you too." said Rion, referring to the goo on his face.  
  
"Who cares? We'll slaughter them at the game." James replied. "But until then, who says a little revenge isn't in order?"  
  
James waved his wand, and every Black that had been sitting down was suddenly tipped out of his/her seat, as every bit of furniture was stuck to the ceiling. This bit of wand work earned James and Rion glares from every Black in the room.  
  
"Nice one, James!" congratulated Rion, patting James on the back.  
  
Lily attempted a scouring charm on both Potters, but nothing happened. Blake laughed as James explained that the egg wouldn't come off for another hour or so.  
  
"They've been using that same prank since before anyone can remember!" Said Rion.  
  
"And you're still falling for it," said Ori, coming up behind them. "Bloody Potters! You'd think they'd learn, wouldn't you?" He asked the Lupins and Lily.  
  
"Have you picked your team yet?" Asked Mrs Lupin.  
  
"Yeah, here." Ori handed Rion a slip of parchment, which Rion showed to the others.  
  
Referee: Alex Jordan Commentator: Thomas Jordan Black Team: Seeker: Steph. Beaters: Sirius, Ori. Chasers: Jullie, Sean, Chloe. Keeper: Jack. Potter Team:  
  
"You figured out a team yet?" Ori asked Rion.  
  
"Nope," Rion answered as he read through the list for the Black team. "Hang on, you're playing beater?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"With Sirius?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Well, it's your death wish." Said Rion. "But personally, I wouldn't trust that kid with a twig, let alone a beater's club!"  
  
"Well, I think you'll find that Sirius is a very good beater. Now hurry up and pick your team already!"  
  
"Yeah, yeah." said Rion as Ori sauntered off. "He thinks he's got the game in the bag, just because our numbers are a little diminished this year. We'll show him."  
  
Rion did a quick count of the number of people in the group. "Seven. Perfect! Lily, do you play quidditch?"  
  
"Um, well, I can fly, but I -"  
  
"Of course she does!" James cut in. "She'll play."  
  
"All right then," said Rion. "James: seeker, or chaser?"  
  
"Seeker, you git! What do I want with a great ugly quaffle?"  
  
"Good point. I'll take beater, then." Rion commented as he wrote.  
  
"Blake? Beater, right?"  
  
Blake grinned. "Of course!"  
  
"Remus? Mr and Mrs Lupin? Lily?"  
  
"I'll go keeper." Said Remus.  
  
"All right, that leaves three chaser positions."  
  
Mandy and Michael Lupin and Lily nodded in agreement, and Rion filled in their names.  
  
"James? You wanna take this to Ori?" Rion ask casually, holding out the parchment for James to take.  
  
"Hell no! You're in charge here, not me. Or does this mean you're chickening out?"  
  
Rion blushed, and left to take the parchment to Ori.  
  
"What's the big deal?" Asked Lily. "Why don't you want to take it to Ori?"  
  
Remus laughed and pointed as Rion handed the parchment to Ori and turned to run. Ori was too quick for him, though, and a shower of feathers fell on Rion, sticking to him where the eggs had hit. The Blacks exploded with laughter as Rion returned to his seat.  
  
"Shall I jinx him?" James asked.  
  
"Yes, I think that's a good idea." Rion replied, and whispered in James' ear.  
  
"That's a good idea, but I think I've got a few better ones." He replied, grinning.  
  
James took a very old looking slip of parchment out of his pocket. "Choose one," he said.  
  
"Where'd you get this?" Asked Rion in an awed voice, taking the parchment from James, and holding it as though afraid it might crumble in his hands.  
  
"Dad. He gave it to me a few weeks before he." James trailed off.  
  
Rion put an arm around James, and the two put their heads together.  
  
"What's going on?" Lily asked the Lupins.  
  
Mr Lupin answered her. "In previous years, with the whole Potter family present, the two families would spend at least half a day in this room, picking their teams and cursing each other."  
  
"Yes," Mrs Lupin continued. "It's the only time of year that you'll see any sort of real rivalry between the Blacks and the Potters. The rest of the time, they're the best of friends!"  
  
Mr Lupin went on. "They absolutely hate each others' guts during this time! If we were smart, we would have stayed out of the middle of it!"  
  
"You've seen how dirty the Slytherin/Gryffindor games are, right Lily?" Remus queried. "Well, those are nothing next to the Black/Potter games."  
  
"So how'd the Jordans get into it?" Lily asked. "We're not really sure how that happened, actually, but it's been like that as long as anyone can remember." Mr Lupin replied.  
  
Their conversation was interrupted by a loud "BANG!"  
  
Rion and James were struggling to sit up straight as they laughed. They had cast a spell over the Blacks, all of whom were now covered from head to toe in thick, sticky honey.  
  
A few Blacks took out their wands and attempted to rid themselves of the honey, but this only made the problem worse, as it turned pink with purple polka-dots, making James and Rion laugh even harder.  
  
Squelching behind them warned the Potters that Sirius, Steph (Sirius' sister), and Sean (their cousin) were approaching.  
  
"Hi Sean, Steph, Sirius." Rion said politely.  
  
James merely nodded.  
  
"Hi yourself. I suppose this is supposed to be funny?" Demanded Steph. "I only just washed my hair last night!"  
  
Rion and James doubled over once again with laughter, and Steph stormed off. Sirius and Sean looked ready to kill, and brought the two hysterical Potters to their senses by giving them fluoro stripes in their hair, and attaching tiny bells to the ends of their hair.  
  
"Where's the list?" Sirius demanded.  
  
"What list?" Asked Rion innocently.  
  
"Dunno what you're talking about." James added.  
  
"You gits! Everyone knows that Potters have no aptitude for lying. Where's the list?" Sean shoved Rion to emphasise his words.  
  
"Like we'd let you Blacks get your honey-covered hands on it!" Spat James.  
  
"Anyway, if you Blacks had any imagination or originality at all, you wouldn't have to repeat the same curses every year, and you'd have your own list!" Rion informed them.  
  
At this, James and Rion hosed the Black cousins with jets of green paint from the tips of their wands. The offending Blacks took cover behind the crowd of thirty or more Blacks on the other side of the room.  
  
"Cowards!" James Rion shouted in unison.  
  
The Lupins and Lily rolled their eyes and tried not to laugh to hard.  
  
A/N Thankyou very much for the reviews! There were so many of them! Yay! Sploogal happy! Garden Gnome happy! Woohoo! Thanks to: 'Bec' 'Flamehail' 'Vamperfly' 'Kite-Chan' 'Piper' 'phoenix' 'Two Bored Idiots' 'peachgirl1608' 'jainajag00' 'Senya Starseeker' 'Anna N. O'Muss' 'McG' 'Headmaster Cromwell' 'Laumina' 'thekeeperofwords' 'Amananduniel Black'. Sorry to anyone we forgot, it was not intentional. I'm pretty sure that's everyone, though. We still want reviews, so point-click-type everyone! 


	22. chapter twentytwo

Disclaimer: The plot is ours, as are a couple of the characters. The rest is JK Rowling's stuff. Surely you lot can tell the difference? If you can't, what are you doing here? The fouls mentioned in the match come from "Quidditch Through the Ages", a very entertaining, if not useful book.  
  
Chapter Twenty two  
  
After explaining quidditch to Mr and Mrs Evans, Lily was allowed to stay with James and Rion until the match was played, so that the team could practice together. Her parents' only condition was that they be allowed to watch, which wasn't a problem, as Rion simply made a portkey for them to take to the field on the day.  
  
The Potter's team trained hard all week, and even Lily and Remus began to feel the competition between the Blacks and the Potters. The pranks played by the two families didn't cease; rather, they became bigger and more frequent.  
  
Finally, the day of the match came. It was to be played on the quidditch pitch at the Potter mansion. Mr and Mrs Evans had arrived the previous night, and the whole Black congregation got there at sunrise on the morning. The Jordans and other spectators filled the stands, and the players were called onto the pitch.  
  
"Sonorus," said Thomas Jordan, pointing his wand at his throat.  
  
"Players, take your positions!" Shouted Alex Jordan.  
  
They did, and after Ori and Rion had shaken hands, Alex released the snitch and the bludgers, and tossed the quaffle into the air. It was immediately taken by Sean Black, who streaked off towards the Black's goal.  
  
"Sean in possession, heading towards the Black goals, passes to - intercepted by Lily who passes to Mandy, - oh, good bludger work by Sirius! Black back in possession. Chloe streaking down the pitch and - Goal to the Blacks!  
  
Remus passes the quaffle to Lily. Lily in possession. Passes to Michael, intercepted by Julliette, passes to Sean, - nice block by Remus - passes to Mandy who passes back to Michael. Michael attempts a goal, blocked by Jack: Lily catches the rebound - it's a goal! Black back in possession."  
  
Meanwhile, James was circling high above the players, and Steph was right behind him.  
  
"Get ready to lose, Potter. Looks like your team isn't doing too well!"  
  
James looked towards the scoreboard: Potter - 30. Black - 150. Something caught his eye - the snitch was hovering just in front of the board! Ignoring Steph, he broke into a sharp dive. He felt her on his tail - literally. She had grabbed his broom tail in an effort to slow him down and prevent him from catching the snitch.  
  
"Foul! Blagging!" Yelled Alex, blowing her whistle twice.  
  
Lily took the two penalty shots, scoring one but missing the other.  
  
"Oh, did poor ickle Jamsie-poo miss the snitchy? Cooed Steph.  
  
"Shut up, Black." James spat back. "You losers haven't won this game for 10 years, and my bet is that you're not about to start!"  
  
"Why don't you put your money where your mouth is, Potter?" Steph challenged.  
  
"Fine. A galleon says that you'll lose miserably."  
  
"One? Let's make it interesting. Try 10!" Steph retorted.  
  
James had just enough time to agree to this bet before pulling away from Steph to dodge a bludger that had been hit towards him by Sirius, who shouted to Steph:  
  
"If you're done hitting on Potter, maybe you can keep an eye out for the snitch, Steph!"  
  
He had barely finished speaking, when James turned into a steep dive. Steph rushed to follow him as he weaved in and out of the bludgers, quaffle, beaters and chasers, all the time picking up speed. He was nearing the ground now. 10 metres - 5 - 2 - 1 - With barely half a metre to go, he pulled out of the dive, grazing his arm as he did so.  
  
Steph wasn't so lucky: she didn't get out of the dive in time, and hit the ground full force.  
  
Ori called time out as the Blacks rushed to assist Steph. She was ok, just dazed. They took 15 minutes out for her to recover.  
  
During these 15 minutes, Rion called a team meeting.  
  
"Well done James!" He said, clapping James on the back. "That was the best Wronski Feint I've ever seen!"  
  
The team applauded James, who sat down with as arm around Lily. Rion continued by outlining a new play, and, as 15 minutes was called, and they all grabbed their brooms, he reminded them all not to hesitate to knock any Black player off their broom if the need arose, or if they felt like it.  
  
The whistle blew again, and all of the players got back into the air. The quaffle was thrown into the air, and taken by Julliette Black.  
  
"And. . . Jullie with the quaffle passes to Sean, speeds across the pitch, oooh. . . Lucky there, Sean! That bludger almost got you! Passes to - no, wait, intercepted by Lily! Lily zooming across the pitch, passes to Michael, passes to Mandy, back to Michael, Lily. . ."  
  
Alex's commentary was drowned out by the sound of Thomas Jordan's voice.  
  
"FOUL!" He yelled. "Blatching!"  
  
Lily had been just about to throw the quaffle through the goal-hoop, but Sean had flown into her, almost knocking her off her broom. Mr and Mrs Evans were looking increasingly anxious as the game wore on. Lily took the penalty shot, and scored.  
  
The game started again. Almost immediately, James spotted the snitch no more than 30 centimetres from the ground. He checked the scoreboard: Black - 380. Potter - 240. He dived steeply. From the corner of his eye, he saw Steph follow suit. Again, he dodged through 12 other players, all of whom (with the exception of the beaters, who were knocking the bludgers viciously towards the seekers) had stopped playing to watch the spectacular dive. Suddenly, two large, heavy brown balls sped towards James, sent his way by Ori and Sirius. They narrowly missed his head as he continued his dive towards the snitch.  
  
Behind him, he saw Steph pull out of her dive, just before he caught the snitch. He then hit the ground with a sickening, and clearly audible "thud!"  
  
The Potter team swarmed around James, congratulating him on his fantastic catch.  
  
"Great dive, James!" Exclaimed Rion, as soon as he knew that James was unharmed. "Though, next time, could you not give me a heart attack?"  
  
"Aw. . . so you do care!" Sighed James, getting to his feet. Slowly.  
  
"Actually, no. It's just if you'd hit the ground at that speed before you'd caught the snitch, I never would have been able to face the Blacks!" Replied Rion, laughing.  
  
"Well done James!" Said Lily, throwing her arms around him and kissing him on the lips.  
  
She pushed him away after a second, yelling, "Don't you ever do that again! Rion's right, you could have been hurt!"  
  
Remus decided that now was a good time to join in. "You do realise that you're not actually supposed to hit the ground, right?"  
  
"I almost got out of the dive, and I'm not hurt, so what are you lot yelling about?" Asked a confused James, slinging a stiff arm around Lily's waist, and pulling her closer.  
  
"I love you, you great fool!" Lily replied quietly, looking up into James' eyes. "I don't think I could stand it if I lost you."  
  
Rion, Blake, Remus, and Mr and Mrs Lupin ruined the moment very effectively by coughing loudly and nudging one another. Lily and James broke apart and glared daggers at the five of them.  
  
"Hey, look!" Said Blake. "Isn't that your mum and dad, Lily?"  
  
Mr and Mrs Evans were running over to Lily looking very worried.  
  
"Lily! That was amazing!" Exclaimed Rose. "We should get you a broom!"  
  
Lily had been using one of the Potters' spare brooms.  
  
"Yeah," agreed James. "You're an excellent chaser!"  
  
"Of course you would say that, James." Remus sniggered.  
  
James scowled and opened his mouth to reply, but Remus continued, "but for once I have to agree with you! Lily, you should try out for the house team."  
  
Just then, the Black team marched up to the group of friends, with Ori and Sirius leading the way.  
  
A/N Hehehe. Cliffie. Me likes. Hehe. What did you guys think of that one? Any suggestions for next time we have a quidditch match? (If we have one, that is.) Will Lily try out for the team? Will the Blacks be sore losers? Will the summer holidays ever finish? Will we get more reviews? Whoops! Where'd that come from? Hehe. Review, please! It only takes a few seconds, and it really does help us to update quickly! Thanks to everyone who was nice to us and has reviewed since the last chapter was posted. We really do appreciate it. 


	23. chapter twentythree

Disclaimer: We don't own anything, so don't sue us. We're not making money out of this. If you want to pay us, that would be nice, because then maybe we would be able to own stuff!  
  
Chapter twenty three  
  
Ori stuck out a hand, which Rion shook.  
  
"Good game, Potter." Ori said grudgingly as he dug in his pocket for some gold. "Here. 100 Galleons."  
  
"Thanks Ori." Said Rion, grinning.  
  
"Hey James, that was one hell of a dive! Where'd you learn that?" Asked Ori.  
  
James snorted. "As if I'd tell you! You might use it against us next year!"  
  
The Potters and the Blacks made their way up to the house, leaving behind them a group of very confused looking Evans' and Lupins.  
  
"Well," said Lily to the rest of them. "We'd better follow them, you know. To ake sure they don't kill each other!"  
  
"Hey Lily! Remus!" Called James and Sirius. "You wanna come to Diagon Alley now?"  
  
They agreed, and, with only a few days left of the holidays, they flooed into The Leaky Cauldron.  
  
"Urgh! I hate floo travel," complained Lily, wiping soot from her dress.  
  
She was just straightening up when she was hit from behind and sent flying.  
  
"Hey Lily, you won't even need a broom on the Quidditch pitch! You fly pretty well without one!" Called James from the fireplace.  
  
Lily got up, glared at him, and stormed out of the Leaky Cauldron.  
  
"What did I say?" James asked Remus and Sirius, a depressed look on his face.  
  
"My fellow Marauder, have you ever heard that beautiful four letter word, tact?" Questioned Remus.  
  
James looked puzzled.  
  
"James, if a girl falls over, you should help her up, ask her if she is ok. Then, and only then, if you really really want to, you may insult her." Remus said slowly, as though talking to a three year old. (Garden Gnome: Well he is, isn't he? Sploogal: Don't listen to the evil Gnome, James. I still like you! Death to James-haters!)  
  
"Oh."  
  
"You are a git." Stated Sirius. "But let's go shopping." He gasped, then repeated over and over: "I did not say that. I did not say that. I did not say that." Hitting his head between each sentence.  
  
Remus and James rolled their eyes and continued walking.  
  
********************************************************************  
  
"Lily? Lily!" Came a voice from the middle of the crowd. Lily, short as she was, was unable to see over the sea of people in front of her.  
  
"Lily!" Yvonne yelled, flinging her arms around her best friend. "Lily, how are you?"  
  
"I'm great!" Lily replied excitedly. "What about you?"  
  
"My holiday was fun, but I missed you and the guys. Where are the guys, anyway?" Asked Yvonne.  
  
Lily's eyes darkened. "I don't know." She said shortly.  
  
"Oooookay." Said Yvonne. "Have you been to Gringots yet?" When Lily nodded, she continued. "Well let's go then! First stop, Flourish and Blotts."  
  
While they were at Flourish and Blotts, Amos Diggory, a Hufflepuff in the year above them, came up to them.  
  
"Uh Lily, um, I've liked you for a long time. . . Um. . . Will you go out with me?"  
  
Yvonne, naturally expecting Lily to turn down the offer, was shocked to hear her answer.  
  
"Yes, I'd love to!"  
  
After a meaningful look from Amos, Yvonne stuttered, "I, um, have to. . . to. . . to go and see Remus," before ruching out of the shop.  
  
Yvonne ran all over Diagon Alley looking for the boys before she finally spotted them sitting at Florean Fortescue's Icecream Parlour, eating ice- cream.  
  
"Hey guys!" She said, sliding into the last seat. Turning to her right, she continued, "James, what did you do to Lily?"  
  
"What? I didn't do anything! Well I. . ." he explained what had happened in the Leaky Cauldron.  
  
"Dammit James! You really stuffed up!" Yvonne informed him.  
  
"Don't you start, too!" Retorted James. "Anyway, how do you know?"  
  
Yvonne hesitated before recounting what had happened in Flourish and Blotts. By the time she had finished, James was slumped in his seat, looking dejected.  
  
A/N Sorry 'bout the wait, guys. Not our fault! Blame our (icky stupid evil) teachers for the (big long) break in the story. Thanks for being so patient, and thanks for your reviews! It's so nice to get home from school and find all these lovely reviews waiting for us! Thanks to: 'hart-break' 'Hermioneishot' 'McG' "oOtrueOo' 'Hoover' 'dani' 'danran' 'Wicket (I love cricket' Kiwi' 'Forsaken Dragon' 'darkmarkgrl' 'Alisha McMillan' 'Two Bored Idiots' 'RedHotChiliePeppers' 'lizpurdypups' and sorry to anyone I left out - I'm too lazy to go and find all your names right now. The next chappie will be up tomorrow, if it's not already there. You can count on rapid updates for the next week or so, unless I (Sploogal) get too busy to type, or some random accident leaves me a) handless or b) computerless or c) internetless. 


	24. chapter twentyfour

Disclaimer: I can't be stuffed with this again. You know what it's meant to say.  
  
Chapter twenty four  
  
"So which one?" asked Sirius, a special glint in his eye which could only mean one thing - prank time.  
  
"Whichever," replied James absently, looking out of the window. It was September 1st, and the marauders were aboard the Hogwarts Express on the way the their fifth year of Hogwarts.  
  
"James, you have got to stop this," began Remus sternly. "I know Lily meant a lot - and still means a lot - to you, and I know it sounds harsh, but you have to move on! If it comes to it, date other girls, just don't shut yourself down, ok?"  
  
James smiled one of the first true smiles Remus or Sirius had seen from him in days. "Thanks Moony."  
  
"Moony?" queried Remus, eyebrows raised.  
  
"Yeah, you know, you're a werewolf? Werewolf. . . Moon?" Replied James.  
  
"You, you're a werewolf?" whispered a voice.  
  
The three boys jumped and swivelled. Yvonne was in the doorway, her face unreadable. Remus paled.  
  
"Remus Lupin, you are a werewolf - and you didn't tell me?" Yvonne whispered harshly.  
  
"Well, um. . . you see. . . it's like this. . ." Remus stuttered, but was cut off by Yvonne.  
  
"Why? Why didn't you tell me?"  
  
Remus shot a meaningful glance at James and Sirius, who got up and left. The lady with the food trolley, who was in her early 30's and got along with the Marauders quite well was in the hallway.  
  
"Here, I've got your bags - 3 still?" She asked them.  
  
"Oh, yeah. Hehe. . . Remus is having girl troubles!" replied Sirius.  
  
"Well, if you three just act yourselves, I'm sure you won't have any problems picking up girls," she said confidently.  
  
"I was acting myself when Lily dumped me!" James stated.  
  
"Well it's simple - If she doesn't appreciate you, you shouldn't be together. Anyway, I must go - there's still a few Slytherins I need to serve. They're so impolite!"  
  
"Well, how about us adding a little something to them?" suggested Sirius.  
  
"Ok, but leave some so I can give that to others who want more food," she replied, grinning.  
  
The two boys walked back to their compartment smiling broadly.  
  
"I declare our fifth year to be officially started," James said grandly, before opening the door.  
  
They were surprised, but happy to see Yvonne and Remus sitting together.  
  
"What are you two looking at?" Asked James.  
  
"The charts - I have to go on Friday." Replied Remus, looking up at them. Seeing the glints in their eyes, he continued, "Uh oh. What have you done?"  
  
"Potter, Black, and Lupin - I'll get you, you bloody Marauders!" Came a voice, obviously belonging to Severus Snape.  
  
"Did you have to ask?" Yvonne said, sounding amused.  
  
A/N Read it? Review it! More coming soon. . . 


	25. chapter twentyfive

Disclaimer: Nope, we still don't own Harry Potter. Check with JK if you're looking for the owner.  
  
Chapter twenty five  
  
"Just before the feast begins, I would like everyone to know that there have been rumours of a dark wizard, Voldemort, rising. Until we have further information or evidence, we cannot be sure about the rumours, but, even so, I would like you all to be careful. Now, without further ado, let the feast begin!"  
  
"I don't like the sound of that. I'm scared James!" Whimpered Leanne, clutching at James' arm.  
  
James looked at her as though she was some sort of lunatic. "Firstly Leanne, I don't think this Voldemort character is going to attack Hogwarts, and secondly," he wrenched his arm out of her grasp, "Please don't dig your nails into me!"  
  
There were nail marks on his arm, and a few of them were bleeding.  
  
"Here," said Lily.  
  
Reaching over, she tapped each mark with her wand and uttered some words, causing them to heal immediately.  
  
"Thanks," smiled James.  
  
Lily returned the smile warmly before, as though realising what she was doing, she stopped and looked down at her plate.  
  
James looked down. "So that's what is happening. . . But why the Bones?"  
  
He didn't realise that he had said this aloud until Remus, Sirius, and Yvonne looked at him strangely.  
  
"The Bones?" queried Yvonne.  
  
Remus began to explain, when Lily interrupted. "What do you mean, why the Bones? The bastard killed your parents, and you're asking why the Bones?"  
  
"He had plenty of reasons to go after my family, but not the Bones." He got up and walked out of the hall.  
  
"You two really suit each other," commented Sirius after a while. "Both of you need to learn that beautiful, wonderful, useful word: Tact."  
  
Lily hit her head on the table.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
"James, you know I'm your best friend, right? Well, that means you can  
tell me whatever's bothering you," said Sirius, for once living up to his  
name. (Sploogal: Hits Gnome. Grrrr. . . Serious Sirius jokes? Argh!!!  
You said you wouldn't!)  
  
"Sirius, I'm not going to tell you -" but he stopped and looked up at the  
portrait hole.  
  
Lily came in and ran up the stairs to her dormitory, her face stained by  
tears. Yvonne made to get up, but James spoke first.  
  
"I'll get her," he said before turning around and heading up to the girls  
dormitory. Before he reached the third step, the staircase turned into a  
slide. James swore and summoned his Comet 260.  
  
He knocked on the door. When there was no response, he pushed open the  
door. Lily was sitting on the edge of her bed holding a box that James  
didn't recognise. Suddenly, and without warning, Lily threw it -  
straight into James' stomach, winding him.  
  
"What was that for?" He gasped.  
  
Lily let out a muffled scream before running over to James.  
  
"I'm sorry, I didn't know you were there! Why are you here anyway?" She  
muttered a few words under her breath, and James was able to breathe  
freely again.  
  
"I came to see what was wrong - Are you alright?" he asked worriedly.  
  
"I don't know why I'm upset. He's such a bastard," Lily whispered.  
  
"What did he do?" asked James, his voice deadly quiet.  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Nothing? Yeah, and I'm Merlin's mother!"  
  
Lily gave him a watery smile. "I thought Remus was Merlin's mother?"  
(Sploogal: Bloody Gnome! I knew that'd come back to haunt me!)  
  
James smiled and repeated, more gently this time: "What did he do?"  
  
"I was walking down the corridor daydreaming" (James raised an eyebrow.)  
"And I saw him kissing Katherine Enimilae! He just looked at me like I  
was any other student here and said 'Lily, I wanted to tell you, I don't  
think it's working.' And you know what? The whole time we were going  
out, I knew something was up! He only seemed to want to be my boyfriend  
in public. He was using me!" She broke down into sobs."  
  
"Shh shh, it's alright," whispered James, rocking her gently.  
  
After a while, Lily looked up at him.  
  
"Thanks," she said quietly.  
  
"No worries," he whispered before leaning down to kiss her.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
"They've been up there for ages! I hope she's alright." Yvonne said  
worriedly. (Sploogal: Now everyone seems to be saying things worriedly!  
We'll never drop this unfortunate habit. *Sighs*)  
  
"If that ruttish, toad spotted, troll-brained Diggory has done this. . ."  
Began Remus.  
  
Sirius opened his mouth to make a sarcastic remark, when he caught sight  
of the two figures on the stairway. Remus and Yvonne followed his eyes  
and smiled. James and Lily came down the stairway, talking. James had  
an arm around Lily.  
  
"Lily, will you be my girlfriend?" James asked her before he thought  
about it.  
  
When he did think about it, he thought: I am an idiot. Her last  
boyfriend only just dumped her and. . .  
  
"James?" Her soft, musical voice brought him back to the present, where  
he realised that she was staring at him.  
  
"Huh?" he asked stupidly.  
  
Her eyes darkened. "That wasn't a good joke." She said softly, and  
began to pull away, but James stopped her and pulled her closer.  
  
"It wasn't a joke," he said. "Do I get an answer?"  
  
Lily's eyes swept around the common room: Everyone was watching the two  
sworn enemies. She turned back to James and kissed him.  
  
A/N Well, that's probably all until tomorrow. We will be updating very  
rapidly for the next few weeks, which means lot's of typing for Sploogal.  
Sploogal: Ay me, ay me! Me must type me.  
I have around fifty pages of stuff to type now, so you can count on more,  
fast.  
Coming up: The "Sock Scene" and the "History of Magic Scene"! Thanks to  
all who reviewed, we'll have your names up in a couple of days (and a  
couple of chappies!) 


	26. chapter twentysix

Disclaimer: Garden Gnome: We own. . . Nothing! Sploogal (Echo): Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! Garden Gnome: Except the plot. Sploogal (Echo): Plot! Plot! Plot! Garden Gnome: And some characters . Sploogal (Echo): Characters! Characters! Characters! Garden Gnome: Stop echoing me! Sploogal (Echo): Me! Me! Me! *Garden Gnome attacks Sploogal with a knife* Garden Gnome: That'll teach you to echo. Sploogal (Echo weakly): Echo! Echo! Echo!  
  
Chapter twenty-six  
  
"Hey, check out my socks guys!" Exclaimed James.  
  
"Wow. They're black! Same as usual," Sirius replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes.  
  
"But remember," continued James before breaking out into song: "Black socks They never get dirty The longer you wear them The stronger they get! Sometimes I think I should wash them But something inside me Keeps saying 'Not yet!' Not yet, not yet, not yet!"  
  
"You are a disgusting slob, James," said Sirius. "I hope you realise that!"  
  
James smirked and started to sing again, but he was cut off be Remus.  
  
"Correction, Sirius. He's a disgusting, tone deaf slob!"  
  
"Thanks guys!" said James, laughing along with them other Marauders. "My self-esteem just went through the roof!"  
  
Sirius cleared his throat loudly and looked meaningfully at James.  
  
"Remus," said James seriously. "You'd better come with us."  
  
"Huh? Why?" Remus looked between James and Sirius, wondering what was going on.  
  
"Don't ask why, just come! We have to show you something," said Sirius, and he grabbed one of Remus' arms as James grabbed the other.  
  
They led (pulled) him to a small room that Remus had not even realised existed. In fact, if James had not pointed it out to him, he would have gone straight past it without noticing.  
  
Sirius saw the confused look on Remus' face, and said "Room of Requirement," as thought that explained everything.  
  
"We'll tell you about it later. We have to show you something, and this is about the only place where we won't be disturbed." James added.  
  
"Ok then, but what is it that you want to show me?" Asked Remus apprehensively: Anything Jaems and Sirius had for his to see was bound to be dangerous and/or illegal.  
  
"You should sit down," said Sirius, motioning to a chair.  
  
Remus did so, but his feeling of apprehension grew.  
  
James and Sirius exchanged identical evil grins, and transformed into a stag and a dog and back again.  
  
"How. . . How long have you been animagi for?" Remus stuttered.  
  
"About half an hour, actually." Sirius replied.  
  
"But we've been trying for almost two years," added James. "Ever since we figured out that you're a werewolf."  
  
"I don't get it. Why?" Asked Remus, dumbfounded.  
  
"To help you, you stupid git!" Exclaimed Sirius. "A werewolf is only dangerous to humans, right?"  
  
"Yes, but -"  
  
"So if we transform with you, we'll be able to keep you company, and be safe at the same time!"  
  
"No." Said Remus flatly.  
  
"No?" Echoed James and Sirius.  
  
"Look, I'm really touched, and I know it must've beeen really hard work and all, but. . ." Remus trailed off.  
  
James frowned. "But what?"  
  
"I don't want you to see it. - When I transform."  
  
"What do you mean?" Asked Sirius.  
  
"I mean that the werewolf transformation is nothing like the animagis one." Remus explained softly. "It isn't nice."  
  
James and Sirius exchanged glances.  
  
"We'll come later then." James told him.  
  
"But what if I hurt you? I could never -"  
  
Sirius cut him off. "That's a risk we're willing to take. Besides, while we're transformed, it doesn't matter if you bite us, it'll just be like a normal wolf bite."  
  
"Trust us, Remus. We've already been through all the possible scenarios. We want to help you." Said James firmly.  
  
Remus thought for a moment. "Thanks guys."  
  
A/N "History of Magic" scene coming up in the next chapter, which will be up very soon. Less than 3 days probably. Thanks to all reviewers, we'll thank you in a few chapters. We're a little disorganised right now *giggles* because half of Hermes isn't there (Hermes is the file we're using to write the drafts) due to spring cleaning. (It's almost spring in Australia, not that that actually has anything to do with reorganising, but it's an excuse!) 


	27. chapter twentyseven

Disclaimer: Honestly! Who'd be dumb enough as to think that we actually own Harry Potter?! This is pointless. . . Oh yeah, and we didn't write the poems in here. Sploogal got them out of a 'Girlfriend' magazine.  
  
Chapter twenty-seven  
  
The next morning, on the way to History of Magic, the Marauders spotted Amos Diggory with his arm around Katherine Enimilae. By the time they got into class, Amos and Katherine both had little tentacles all over their faces, and each little tentacle was holding a flashing love-heart.  
  
"You didn't have to do that you know." Stated Lily.  
  
"Yes we did," replied James. "We were defending your honour!"  
  
"What? Was he insulting me?"  
  
"Not directly, but every time he does anything with Katherine, he's insulting you. It's like him saying that she's better than you or something. Oh damn! I left my History book in the dorm! I'll see you later."  
  
"Anyway, I'm going to get them myself." Lily announced just as McGonagall came into the room.  
  
"I have an announcement to make." She said. "The prefects have decided that the school is going to stage a play this year. The play will be Romeo and Juliet, by William Shakespeare. Anyone interested in trying out for it should see Professor Flitwick."  
  
She strode out of the room before any chatter had started.  
  
"Remus! Lily! Why didn't you tell us?" Asked Sirius, sounding outraged.  
  
"Blame Lily, she's the director!" Said Remus defensively.  
  
"It was supposed to be a surprise!" Lily responded matter-of-factly.  
  
"Well, you still could've -" Sirius never got to finish his sentence, as Professor Binns floated through the blackboard at the front of the room.  
  
Professor Binns' class was, without a doubt, the most boring class taught at Hogwarts. This was the opinion held by every Hogwarts student, except that is, for the Marauders. History of Magic class was the main class used by the Marauders for coming up with new pranks, and thus, one of their favourites.  
  
Coming into class late with his books, James missed out on his usual seat next to Remus and Sirius, and ended up sitting behind Lily and Yvonne. He saw this as the perfect opportuinity to get her attention. He wrote her a note:  
  
"I believe in angels, I believe in love, I believe in anything, Even what's above. I believe in honesty, I believe what's true, But way in front of everything I believe in you."  
  
He could tell that she had read it when she giggle softly. Yvonne nudged her and she handed the note to her friend who also giggled at it. Lily sent a note back to James, who felt himself blushing as he read it.  
  
"I love bumblebees, butterflies, and little fairies, too. But when it comes right down to it, I'm in love with you."  
  
He was glad that Sirius and Remus weren't there, reading over his shoulder. They'd be laughing uncontrollably right now. He wrote a note back to Lily:  
  
"Luv u muchly Tiger-Lily."  
  
Underneath the writing, he drew a bear and a heart with the initials 'LE' and 'JP'.  
  
Again, Lily and Yvonne giggled over his note before writing back:  
  
"Smile - It makes people wonder what you're up to."  
  
As much as James had been trying not to say or do anything that might come off as vulgar (to Lily, anyway), he just couldn't resist this opportunity.  
  
"Smile if you're mentally undressing me!"  
  
James wasn't too surprised at her reaction to this. He was, however, surprised that she didn't wait until after class. She giggled, then got up, kicked him (hard) on the ankle, then sat back down.  
  
Unsurprisingly, the eyes of every student in the classroom were on either Lily or James, but Professor Binns just continued to drone on as though nothing had happened. James decided to send one last note to Lily:  
  
"You smiled."  
  
A/N How was that? Did you like the last line? That's my (Sploogal's) favourite line of the whole fic so far! There is a better one coming up in Britty-Bum's scene, though. Yeah, I know - It was a little too short to really be a chapter on its own, but cut us some slack, ok? You asked for updates, so we're giving them to you. Ok, so that was a lame excuse, but aren't all excuses lame? Anyway, the next chapter should be a bit longer. Um, I think I'm up to the bit where I thank the reviewers. Well, I think I'll do that next chapter, as I'm just about to type that one anyway. Thanks to all reviewers, who will be mentioned in the next A/N. 


	28. chapter twentyeight

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not our own. Neither is Romeo and Juliet. One belongs to JK Rowling, and the other to Shakespeare. If you don't know which is which, is suggest you go and buy yourself a brain.  
  
Chapter twenty-eight  
  
A/N Sorry guys, but this is another shorty. The reason being that the next one is rather long. The next chapter is Britty-Bum's bit with Romeo and Juliet. Apologies in advance to Shakespeare haters (I am one myself) but I don't control Britty-Bum's pen. Anyway, it's hilarious. Now, on with the chapter. . .  
  
"Ok, first thing to do is auditions," Lily muttered (Sploogal: Argh!) as she looked at a list. "First is Amos Diggory as Romeo."  
  
Amos stepped forward and she gave him his lines. "And Severus Snape as Mercutio," she continued, and gave Snape his lines.  
  
Amos: Good morrow to you both. What counterfeit did I give you? Snape: The slip sir, the slip."  
  
They continued until Lily asked them to stop. "Thankyou, you both did really well."  
  
"Next. . . Great Merlin! James Potter as Romeo, and Sirius Black as Mercutio!"  
  
They're pretty good, thought Lily as James and Sirius went through their lines. Then again, neither of them do anything but act most of the time!  
  
"Ok, that'll do," Called Lily. "Now for Juliet's nurse, Leanne Macintine, and Helga Prewitt." Lily groaned inwardly at this.  
  
Helga: Aye aye the cords. Leanne: Ay me, what news? Why dost thou wring thy hand? Helga: Ay wereday, he is dead! He is dead! We are undone lady, we are undone.  
  
The auditions continued for another hour before concluding.  
  
"Thankyou all for taking the time to try out for this. I will post the cast list on the school notice board once it has been finalised."  
  
**Later**  
  
"Oh man! How am I supposed to choose who gets what part?" Sighed Lily.  
  
"Well, I was watching, and personally, I thought that the best actors were James, Sirius, and Snape," Yvonne stated. "Romeo and Mercutio were best friends, and Tybalt was their enemy. Need I say more?" "Helga Prewitt did well, and, as much as we all hate to admit it, Leanne was also pretty good." Remus suggested, almost timidly, as if expecting an outburst of some kind.  
  
Lily giggled. "James will hate us for this! I guess it's a good revenge, though."  
  
Lily wrote out the list: Romeo - James Potter Juliet - Leanne Macintine Tybalt - Severus Snape Mercutio - Sirius Black Nurse - Stephanie Black Lady Capulet - Paula Serinale Capulet - Amos Diggory Balthasar - Sean Black Lady Montague - Helga Prewitt Friar Laurence - Remus Lupin  
  
A/N Hey everyone! Visit Sploogal's website. It's sploogal.tripod.com (no 'www' just http://) Again, apologies for the shortness, but there will be a significantly long chapter up within the week, so you'll just have to wait. By the way, if we get up to 100 reviews, we might post something special. I want votes though: Who likes fluff? Humour? Angst? Other? please specify. Thanks to 'Shuen' 'Hoover' 'Padfoot4Ever' 'Loony bout Lupin' 'Britty Bum' 'diana' 'Jade' 'Kira' 'Piper13' 'darkmarkgrl' 'ReBelleRose' 'Spi-Spi3' 'arrow45' 'Sento' 'Amananduniel Black' 'jainajag00' and sorry to anyone I missed out. More coming soon. . . 


	29. chapter twentynine

Disclaimer: Sploogal does not own Harry Potter. Garden Gnome does not own Harry Potter. Britty-Bum does not own Harry Potter.  
  
A/N Apologies to anyone who does not like Romeo and Juliet. We'll try not to put too much of the actual play in there.  
  
Chapter twenty-nine: Britt's Bit. (Except for two sentences. lol.)  
  
"Romeo, Romeo. Wherefore art thou Romeo?" Cooed Sirius.  
  
"I'm right here cowboy!" Remus yelled back at him, amongst the flowers in the display surrounding the cardboard Capulet mansion.  
  
"Both of you! Take your places in stage left! And, Sirius? Red is definitely NOT your colour." Smirked Lily from the director's chair. "By the way boys, wherefore art thou Romeo doesn't mean 'where are you Romeo,' it means 'why are you called Romeo.' Now, places people! Rehearsal number 129. . . Action!"  
  
Leanne, as Juliet, glided regally across the stage. She was about to start her lines when:  
  
"SMASH! CLANG! SLASH! CHING!"  
  
"You stupid git! You've ripped my shirt!"  
  
"It's not my fault you can't control your sword! I was defending myself!"  
  
"Sirius and Remus! You are ruining my play!" Screeched Lily, turning a bright shade of red.  
  
"I'm sorry Lily, but I simply cannot work under these conditions! If those two don't stop sword-fighting behind the stage and ruining my scenes, I'm afraid I'll be forced to leave."  
  
"Leanne, that is not necessary! You are a wonderful actress, and we need you," said Lily with a forced smile.  
  
"Now, Sirius and Remus! Get over here, now!"  
  
Sirius and Remus emerged from behind the curtain slowly and with caution.  
  
"IF YOU TWO DON'T STOP ACTING LIKE A PAIR OF NIFFLERS, YOU CAN FORGET ABOUT TAKING PART IN MY PLAY! Honestly, you are both butchering Shakespeare!" Lily muttered the last bit under her breath. (Sploogal: Muttering must be contagious. Grrr. . .)  
  
"Let's try this again. . ."  
  
The rehearsal went on as planned for the next hour. That is if you chose to ignore two shredded costumes, a broken set, and a director with no voice left. Back in the common room, James was sitting in the large armchair by the fire.  
  
"James, mate, you so should've come to rehearsal!" Remarked Sirius.  
  
"Yeah, we made Lily turn the colour of the Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans bag!" Said Remus.  
  
"Thanks, but no thanks guys," James replied, his eyes not lifting from the letter he was reading. "You two shouldn't stir her up so much - you know she always takes it out on me!"  
  
"BANG!!!"  
  
The door (portrait?) slammed shut behind Lily as she stomped into the common room. She looked around, spotted James, and headed straight for him.  
  
"Well guys, I have to do. . . something. . . that. . . I. . . didn't do. . . before." Said James hurriedly as he scampered off towards the boys' dormitories.  
  
"YOU!!! Stop right there!" Bellowed Lily, pointing her finger at James.  
  
James stopped, and slowly turned around, keeping the letter behind his back.  
  
"HA! Now you're in for it," smirked Sirius.  
  
"Shut up you two. I'll deal with you later!" Glared Lily.  
  
"Yes ma'am," came the squeaky reply.  
  
"James, this is the third time you've missed a rehearsal! What is going on?"  
  
Lily was not angry with James, just concerned about him. He'd never let her down before. It just wasn't like James to be unreliable.  
  
"Look, Lily, I can explain. . ."  
  
"Ooooh, this'll be good!" Whispered Sirius, interested to hear James' 'explanation'.  
  
"Come on Sirius. I think we'd better leave before she finds something to accuse us of," Remus said, edging Sirius towards the portrait hole.  
  
"Well? Get on with it!" Said Lily, tapping her foot.  
  
James was starting to get a little scared of the look she was giving him. He was almost positive that it was the 'look-of-death', and he could almost imagine her lunging at him with a butcher's knife should he make any sudden movements.  
  
"Lily, I am really truly sorry, but it just couldn't wait."  
  
"I didn't expect this from you James. I really didn't," said Lily quietly, and walked away.  
  
"FINE! BE THAT WAY!" Shouted James as he stormed up the stairs to his dorm.  
  
*~*^*~*^*~*^*~*^*~*^*~*^*~*^*~*^*~*^*~*^*~*^*~*^*~*^*~*^*~*^*~*^*~*^*~*  
  
The next time they all met was at dinner that night in the Great Hall. About ten minutes into dinner, Remus and Sirius were beginning to think that it mightn't have been a very smart idea to sit opposite Lily.  
  
Remus hardly ate any food, while Sirius made a girlish shrieking noise every time he looked up and saw Lily glaring at him over the bowl of mashed potatoes and the tray of liver tripe.  
  
"Mate, are you ok? I think you're starting to go transparent!" Remus remarked.  
  
"Yeah, but the Tiger looks as if it's gonna pounce on its prey." Sirius added through clenched teeth.  
  
"I've never seen her this angry, have you?"  
  
"No, I think she might be having a nervous breakdown. Or maybe it's that time of the month or something." Remus speculated, whilst twirling his fork in and out between his fingers.  
  
"You know Sirius, I think Lily needs some cheering up, don't you?!" (Britty-Bum: Of course, we all know that these boys' version of 'cheering up' includes one person being humiliated, leaving them pissing themselves laughing!)  
  
"Oh, I dunno. Maybe we should just give her a day to cool down." Sirius said matter-of-factly.  
  
Suddenly, Remus felt something hard hit his forehead. Retrieving it from the floor, (and rubbing his head with his other hand,) he realised that it had the same consistency as a remembrall.  
  
He glanced up at Lily, who was smirking with delight: She knew that that would leave a nasty bruise. (Sploogal: Lily's a nasty-pasty. How dare she pick on poor ickle Remmie?)  
  
"Maybe a bit more than a day, to make sure that we have all of our body- parts intact by the time the play is over!" he said, wincing as he rubbed his head.  
  
**End Britty-Bum's Bit**  
  
James picked at his food, not really listening to his friends' conversation. He eventually ate one baked potato and a few spoonfuls of corn - with Sirius and Remus cheering him on, as well as keeping a commentary the whole time.  
  
He looked up at the staff table where he could see McGonagall talking to Dumbledore. He noted that McGonagall looked rather distressed, and Dumbledore didn't look too happy, either.  
  
As though feeling his eyes on them, the two professors looked towards James. They got out of their seats and walked over to where James was sitting. Sirius and Remus fell silent at the grave looks on their faces.  
  
"Mr Potter, you will come with us," announced Professor McGonagall.  
  
A/N Okies, sorry for the wait, which was a little longer than anticipated, but I think that it may have been worth it. Am I right? Anyway, there should be more tomorrow, depending on whether I'm in a typing mood or not. Thanks for all the encouraging reviews! It was a bit of a shock to see that many reviews pop up overnight. You guys make us feel so special! I wish I could hug you all! Um, "Emily Flemming", you said that we don't seem like high-schoolers to you. We're both in year ten. What makes you think we're not? Oh, and we're aware that we need serious help. We get told that a lot! We think it's funny when people say that! "fiery-eyed-elf", sorry about the fluff overload. Hope this helped a bit! And we don't actually know whether or not goldfish bounce. We're not cruel enough to find out. Thanks to: "Hoover" "Selina" "Wicket (I love cricket" "Ivette" "Emily Flemming" "nichole-grey" "Charlie5587" "DavidCamp" "fiery-eyed-elf" "Mrs_Ryoga_hibiki_and_peter_pettigrew" "Maddy-Riddle" "Voldie on Varsity Track" "XxSilverWingsxX" 


	30. chapter thirty

Disclaimer: Harry isn't ours. We wish he was 'cause then we'd be rich.  
  
Chapter 29  
  
James followed McGonagall and Dumbledore to Dumbledore's office.  
  
Dumbledore told him to "Sit down, this will probably come as a bit of a shock to you."  
  
As McGonagall took her seat next to James, Dumbledore spoke.  
  
"James, there is no easy way to say this, so I'm just going to give it to you straight." He paused when James made to stand up.  
  
McGonagall put a hand on James' shoulder. "Please sit down James. You have to hear this."  
  
James sat down. "It's Rion, isn't it? What's happened to him?"  
  
McGonagall and Dumbledore exchanged glances, and Dumbledore continued to talk.  
  
"Rion has disappeared. We do not know where he is, or why he is not responding to us."  
  
"When?" Whispered James.  
  
"Three days ago."  
  
James got up and left the office.  
  
Once he was out in the corridor he ran back to Gryffindor tower, where Sirius, Remus, Yvonne and Lily were waiting for him to return.  
  
"What was that all about?" Demanded Sirius.  
  
James ignored him and continued into his dorm.  
  
Sirius and Remus followed him. When they got there, James was on his bed curled up in a ball.  
  
"James? You ok?" Asked Sirius as he and Remus sat down on the side of his bed.  
  
"I swear, my family must be cursed or something." James whispered.  
  
"What do you mean?" Remus queried, but James refused to say any more.  
  
"Remus and Sirius went to find McGonagall to ask her what had happened that had upset James so much. They spent about an hour searching the castle before they thought to check Dumbledore's office.  
  
"What's the password, Remus?" Asked Sirius.  
  
"How should I know?"  
  
"Well, you are a prefect," Sirius replied. "What's the point of being a prefect if you don't even know the password to Dumbledore's office?"  
  
"All I know is that it's always some kind of lolly." Remus replied irritably.  
  
The two started throwing every name they could think of at the statue.  
  
"Fizzing Wizzbees."  
  
"Licorice Wands."  
  
"Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans."  
  
"Sugar Quills."  
  
"Oompa Loompa's."  
  
As they climbed the stairs leading to Dumbledore's office, Sirius asked Remus what Oompa Loompa's were.  
  
"Muggle candy - You know Dumbledore."  
  
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*  
  
"James?" Lily whispered, peering into the dorm.  
  
Seeing him curled up on his bed, she went in and sat down next to him. "Are you ok?"  
  
James remained silent, but turned to face the wall.  
  
"Fine. I just wanted to see -" She gulped and turned to leave the dorm, but before she did an arm reached out and grabbed her hand.  
  
She turned, and as she did so, he saw the hurt in her face.  
  
"Lily, I'm sorry. It's just that Rion - he's disappeared, and I think -" He broke off.  
  
Lily sat down and put her arm around him. "You think Voldemort?"  
  
"Yeah." James croaked.  
  
Silence descended upon them.  
  
"James, y'know, I could get Amos to play Romeo if you want." Lily suggested after a while.  
  
"No, I'll do it." Insisted James. "But I can't believe that Leanne is my 'true love'!"  
  
A/N Sorry that was short again, but there will be more soon. Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I'm in kinda a hurry at the moment so I'll have your names up next time. Wish me (Sploogal) luck in my piano exam! It's tomorrow morning (yay! I get out of English, maths, music and science!) I need lot's of luck! Tata for now! 


	31. chapter thirtyone

Disclaimer: We trust that you are all well aware by now that Garden Gnome and Sploogal do not own Harry Potter. If you haven't realised this by now, what planet are you from?  
  
Chapter 31  
  
Lily was late for the final dress rehearsal, as she had to take a letter to Vensu. (Sploogal: Venus is her owl.) In her head, she was going over what they needed to practise as she entered the Great Hall. As she walked in, she saw James and Leanne in a close embrace: They were snogging. She turned and ran blindly down the corridore, entering an empty classroom before she let the tears start to fall. Someone knocked on the door.  
  
"Go away James! I don't wasn to talk to you." Lily choked through her tears. "You pretended to be different - nice! But you're really just like Amos Diggery!"  
  
"Amos is a bastard," replied an unfamiliar voice. "He's not worth fighting for. Heck, he's not worth spitting on! But is James really that bad?"  
  
Lily turned to see the speaker. I was a Hufflepuff girl in her year. "You're Helga, aren't you?"  
  
"Yeah." Confirmed Helga. "I'll ask you again: Is James worth fighting for?"  
  
Helga sat down and put her are around Lily. Lily was silent for a while before she looked up and gave Helga a small smile. "Yes, he is."  
  
Helga got up. "Well, let's get going then."  
  
She led Lily out of the room.  
  
***A bit later***  
  
"How well do you know Juliet's part?" Helga asked.  
  
"I know it off by heart," answered Lily. "But what - oh, no! I couldn't! What about Leanne?"  
  
Helga shrugged, and replied, "Hex her," as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.  
  
***In the Gryffindor Common Room***  
  
"Has anyone seen Lily?" Yvonne asked as she entered the Common Room.  
  
"No. And she wasn't at the rehearsal." Responded Sirius, looking down at the chess game he was playing with Remus.  
  
"Remus, have you -" She stopped as the portrait hole swung open to reveal a Hufflepuff girl. (Sploogal: I didn't agree to this, but by the time I noticed that the Garden Gnome was letting Hufflepuffs into the Gryffindor Common Room, it was too late to change it. She's very stubborn.)  
  
"Hey, you're not in Gryffindor!" James stated stupidly.  
  
"Shut up, you great prick!" Helga snapped. "Yvonne, come with me. Lily needs you."  
  
A look of comprehension dawned on Yvonne's face. Turning to James, she said in a deadly tone of voice, "If you've done anything to her, I will curse you with every curse I know!"  
  
James gulped and paled.  
  
***Back in some room in Hogwarts. Wherever Lily is now.***  
  
"Lily? Are you alright? What happened? What did he do this time?" Demanded Yvonne.  
  
Lily explained what had happened. "I'm ok, but Helga has a plan for the performance tonight."  
  
"A plan? Let's hear it."  
  
"Ok, we get Lily into the costume so that she can play Juliet." Helga announced.  
  
"That's a good idea, but there's one little flaw. . . What about Leanne?" Asked Yvonne matter-of-factly.  
  
"Well, last Hogsmeade weekend, I bought this from Zonko's." Helga replied as she handed a jar to Yvonne.  
  
"It's foundation." Lily said, confused.  
  
"Not just foundation." Helga began.  
  
She rolled up her sleeve and rubbed some of the 'foundation' into her arm, and waited. Within a few minutes, the space where she had rubbed it had turned green.  
  
"It won't come off, no matter what you do. It stays green for 24 hours." Helga exclaimed proudly. (Sploogal: Argh! The 24hr curse thing. Damn it, that is so cliché!)  
  
"But where can we put it so that Leanne - and only Leanne - will use it?" Queried Lily.  
  
"Leave that to me." Insisted Yvonne.  
  
***In the Gryffindor Common Room.***  
  
"What have I done this time?" James asked.  
  
"Hey, maybe it wasn't you." Suggested Sirius.  
  
"Aw, come off it!" James snapped. "You saw the way Helga looked at me!"  
  
"James is right. But unless you guys wan to stuff up the play tonight, and have Lily on your backs, we'd better start getting ready." Inserted Remus. (Sploogal: Inserted. I love that word!)  
  
***Back with the girls. . .***  
  
"This, girls, is the room of requirement." Saild Yvonne, holding the door open.  
  
Leanne squealed. "I get the big chair! After all, I am the star of the show!"  
  
Helga glanced at Yvonne. "So far, so good. Will you do my makeup for me?"  
  
Yvonne was just putting the finishing touches on Helga's face, when Leanne screamed.  
  
"My face! My face! Oh Merlin, it's green! Oh someone please, please help me!"  
  
Lily hurried over. "It's ok Leanne. Here, just wash it off." She said soothingly as Leanne snatched the cloth from Lily and dabbed at her face.  
  
"It won't come off! What am I going to do? I can't go out in front of the whole school looking like this!" Leanne squeaked, almost hysterical.  
  
"Do we have a backup?" Helga asked. "Yvonne?"  
  
"I can't act," Yvonne stated simply. "Lily? What about you? You know the lines, don't you?"  
  
"Yes, I guess I could do it. In the meantime, Yvonne, will you find out who did this and how to get rid of it?" Lily asked, barely concealing a grin as Leanne ran around the room waving her hands around her face, as though that would change the colour.  
  
A/N See that button? Down and to the left? Please use it, as reviews are greatly appreciated. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed since last time we said thanks. In particular, "ronluvr28" "Phoenix141" "Choc_Syrup" "Maddy-Riddly" "Selina Marie Souza" "Jade" "kawaii" "Loony bout Lupin" "Freackled-Angel" Also thanks to: "GoodCharlottesGurl" "danran" "hart-break" "Hoover" "SjabRox" "Manny2003" "Amananduniel Black" "Britty Bum" "running_intowalls" "Alex Browning" "rrrudika" "Emily Fleming"  
  
"ronluvr28" asked if we're planning on doing a sequel. The answer is: hopefully. We'd love to write one, but it really depends on when we finish this one. I (Sploogal) know that I'm not likely to be writing much during year 12, and neither is Garden Gnome, unless I'm very much mistaken. We're both doing TEE (that's Western Australia's equivalent of Eastern Australia's HSC or I dunno what it is overseas. I think I've heard "A levels" being mentioned in some English movie. Anyway, it's the huge exams at the end of high-school.)  
  
"Selina Marie Souza" Hopefully you read the big huge authors note that we posted. The answer to your question is in there.  
  
"kawaii" Hopefully you read the big huge authors note that we posted. The answer to your question is in there.  
  
"Emily Fleming" Wow! Seven o'clock in the morning! Sploogal wasn't aware that that time even existed! 


	32. chapter thirtytwo

Disclaimer: Did you know that we don't own Harry Potter? No? Well, where's your brain gone?  
  
Chapter 32  
  
Yvonne walked onto the stage and announced: "Tonight, the students of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry shall perform for you a play written by the wizard William Shakespeare in the 1500's. The play is the true story of two wizarding families: The Montagues, who believed that full-blooded witches and wizards were better ad more powerful than half- blooded or muggle-born witches and wizards, and the Capulets, who did not share these beliefs. This is the story of the love of the children of these families. This is the story of Romeo and Juliet."  
  
(Sploogal: James played Romeo, and Lily played Juliet. Leanne sat at the back of the hall, glaring at Lily the whole time. They performed the play really well and blah blah blah. . . Um, maybe we'll write that bit later and post it as an outtake.)  
  
***After the performance***  
  
"Wow guys, that was excellent!" Remus exclaimed.  
  
"Yeah, the audience loved it. Congratulations!" Yvonne said cheerily as she hugged Lily.  
  
"Hang on, I don't get it. What happened to Leanne? Why didn't she play Juliet?" Sirius asked.  
  
"I think I can explain that." Said a voice.  
  
They turned to see Helga standing behind them.  
  
"Lily, you were great! Much better than that bitch Leanne any day!" Helga gave Lily a hug.  
  
"Thanks Helga," Lily said smiling.  
  
Helga returned the smile and replied, "No problem," before turning to the boys to explain what had happened.  
  
By the end of the explanation, the boys were rolling on the floor, laughing.  
  
"And Leanne didn't know you did it?" James gasped before calming down.  
  
"Not that we mind, but why did you do it?" Asked Sirius, getting to his feet.  
  
At a pleading look from Lily, Helga and Yvonne dragged Sirius and Remus away, leaving Lily alone with James.  
  
"Lily?" James prompted. "We were worried when you didn't come to rehearsal."  
  
"Really?" Lily asked, her good mood ebbing away. "You didn't seem to mind at the time."  
  
James looked confused for a moment before a look of understanding dawned on his face. "You saw. . ."  
  
"You kissing Leanne? Yeah, I saw that!"  
  
Lily turned to walk away, but James touched her shoulder and she turned back, looking tearful.  
  
"What you saw was Leanne kissing me. I couldn't stop her! She launched herself at me." He said softly. "I thought I made it clear in the cupboard at Moony's place that you were the only girl for me."  
  
Lily looked into his eyes and smiled. "C'mon. We're going to miss the party. I want to see Leanne."  
  
"If she shows up, that is." James pointed out.  
  
The party was almost over when Dumbledore entered. Silence descended immediately.  
  
"Mr Potter, will you please come with me to my office." He said looking gravely at James.  
  
James' heart sank. Was Rion dead? Why else would Dumbledore ask for him? No, he couldn't be dead - he would have felt it.  
  
***In Dumbledore's office***  
  
"James, your brother, Rion, was found this afternoon." Dumbledore stated.  
  
James lifted his head. "Is he ok?"  
  
"He is currently in Saint Mungo's Hospital." Dumbledore answered. "He has lost all memory of the past two or so years, and is in a critical state."  
  
"Can I visit him?" James asked faintly.  
  
"Of course you can," Replied Dumbledore. "And maybe it would be best if you took someone along. Miss Evens perhaps?"  
  
"Thankyou professor." James said, before stumbling out of the office.  
  
***At the party***  
  
"Hey, was that Leanne thing your idea?" Sirius asked Helga.  
  
"Yeah," she replied. "I've always hated the way she throws herself at James."  
  
"Alison's just as bad. Do you think you could get rid of her for me?" Sirius joked. "Speak of the devil!"  
  
Alison walked up to them. "Siri baby," she cooed. "Would you like to dance?"  
  
Sirius looked horror-stricken, but Alison didn't appear to notice.  
  
"Excuse me, Alison, but Sirius is my boyfriend." Interrupted Helga, before turning to Sirius. "Do you want to dance?"  
  
Sirius smiled. "Sure."  
  
Once they were on the dance floor, he said, "Thanks for that. You didn't. . ."  
  
He never finished the sentence, because at that moment, Lily walked in. She was white as a sheet after being told what had happened to Rion.  
  
Sirius, Remus, Helga and Yvonne all rushed over to her.  
  
"Lily, what's wrong?" Asked Yvonne.  
  
"Rion." She whispered. "He's been found."  
  
"How is he?" Demanded Sirius immediately.  
  
"He's lost all memory of the last two years, and he's in a critical condition." She answered softly. "James and I are going to see him. I just thought you should know." She looked up at Sirius and Helga and attempted a grin. "Is there something going on that I haven't been told about?"  
  
Sirius looked at her in confusion before he realised that he still had an arm around Helga, and she hadn't made a move to remove it. He jumped away from Helga, and as Helga and Lily laughed, he muttered (Sploogal: Muttered? MUTTERED?!) under his breath about girls seeing romance at every turn.  
  
A/N If you guys want to chat, visit and go to the chat room that's on the 'interaction' page. Also, Sploogal is feeling very bored, so if you have msn, add chocolateisnoforbreakfast@hotmail.com and chat to me. PLEASE! I'm begging you to do this. I'll try and have another chapter up by tonight, but I've hurt my arm (I don't now how because it happened when I was sleeping. I'm scared.) and so I'm typing a lot slower than usual. Thanks to 'ReBelleRose' 'SjabRox' 'freckled_angel' 'Selina Marie Souza' 'Aphrienna' 'Maddy-Riddle' 'hart-break' for your reviews on the last chapter.  
  
'ReBelleRose' I'm very confused. Why do you think we're lucky to be in Australia? A couple of other people have said that too, and every time I hear it, I get more confused. I (Sploogal) can't wait to leave. I've never been overseas, though Garden Gnome has (lucky bugger), but from what I've heard, I'd rather be somewhere else. Australia (particularly Perth, which is where we live) is really really really boring. There's absolutely nothing to do, and the nearest city it half a country away! In the suburbs, there's movies or bowling, and in the city there's movies, pool- halls, or bowling. BORING!!! My folks are from Sydney, and they reckon that we take Perth for granted, so maybe there's something good about it that we don't see.  
  
'SjabRox' We can't be that much older than you - we're only 15! 


	33. chapter thirtythree

Disclaimer: JKR owns Harry Potter. Neither of us is JKR. We do not own Harry Potter.  
  
Chapter 33  
  
"Ok, so. . . Spell damage, fourth floor. I think that's where he'll be," said Lily, trying (and failing) to sound cheerful and encouraging.  
  
They spent around half an hour trying to navigate through the maze that was Saint Mungo's Hospital, before they finally found Rion's ward.  
  
"Are you ok to do this?" Lily asked James tentatively.  
  
"Yeah," he responded, and walked into the ward where Rion was lying, looking very pale and exhausted.  
  
"Rion?" James prompted. "Rion, how are you doing mate?"  
  
"Who are you?" Rion asked, looking a little apprehensive.  
  
"I'm your brother, James. Don't you remember me?" James asked looking a little panicked. "I'm five years younger than you."  
  
"Oh." Said Rion, sounding quite a bit confused. There was a moment's silence as he thought. "So. . . You're in. . . Third year?"  
  
"I'm in fifth year." Corrected James.  
  
Silence took over again for a while before Rion asked a question: "Where are Mum and Dad? Why aren't they here?"  
  
"They - They're dead." James answered quietly.  
  
They sat in silence for another half hour before a nurse bustled in.  
  
"I'm afraid visiting time is over. Mr Potter here needs his sleep." She said.  
  
Lily spoke up now. "Could we talk to you outside for a moment please?"  
  
"Of course you may." The nurse replied and led Lily into the corridor.  
  
"See ya mate. Get better soon, ok?" James said to Rion, before following Lily and the nurse outside.  
  
Lily and the nurse were already talking.  
  
"I don't understand. Why is it only the past two years that he's forgotten?" Lily was asking.  
  
The nurse replied: "Well, after what he went through, it's surprising that he hasn't forgotten absolutely everything. We think that its just these past two years because after the deaths of your parents, James, it's been very hard for him."  
  
"Wait, are you saying he just doesn't want to remember?" Asked James unbelievingly.  
  
"That is more or less correct," the nurse answered gently. "Now I'm afraid I must leave to attend to Rion. Excuse me."  
  
James stood at the door of the ward, watching Rion as he slept. When Lily touched his arm, he turned around slowly and Lily was surprised to see tears running down his cheeks.  
  
"He'll be ok," she told him softly as she pulled him into a hug. "You know he will."  
  
***Back at Hogwarts***  
  
"I hope Rion's ok." Sirius said, sounding worried.  
  
"You're really worried about him, huh?" Asked Helga.  
  
"He's like a brother to me," he replied. "James and him and I have known each other forever - we used to have prank wars together."  
  
"I hope James is alright. I mean, first his parents, now his brother. Who's next?" Voiced Remus glumly.  
  
"Lily?" Said Helga.  
  
Yvonne's eyes darkened. "Don't even think that," she whispered harshly.  
  
"No, I mean she just came through the portrait-hole!" Helga said defensively.  
  
"Hey guys." Lily greeted them as she flopped onto a chair looking tired.  
  
"How are you? And James, for that matter?" Yvonne asked.  
  
"I'm fine. James is ok too, I think, though he's taking this pretty hard. On the bright side, Rion's not as bad as we thought," Lily explained. "But he's lost all memory of the past two years."  
  
The group lapsed into silence. They all jumped when they heard James' voice behind them.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Prongs!" Exclaimed Sirius.  
  
"Where the hell did that come from?" Chuckled James as the mood lightened.  
  
"Do I have to explain it to you like I did to Moony?" Sirius asked, exasperated. "Prongs, as in antlers, you chufflebrain!" (Sploogal: I've always wanted to call someone a chufflebrain! Lol.)  
  
"Prongs?" Repeated James. "It sounds like a fork!"  
  
"How about Padfoot?" Suggested Lily. When everyone turned to look at her, she shrugged. "It's supposed to look like the grim. It 'haunts' graveyards, and it's supposedly the devil's disguise."  
  
A/N That doesn't feel like the end of a chapter, does it? If you think about it though, it's a cliffie. Think about it, k? By the way, did this chapter make anyone cry? My eyes were all watery when I was typing it. I hate James-torture. We'll get off it soon, I promise. We've written a nice bit of Remus-torture, which will be coming up in around fifteen chapters or so. More soon. . . 


	34. chapter thirtyfour

Disclaimer: Gnome: If you own Harry Potter, please contact us so that we can buy him off you. Sploogal: Actually, don't sell us Harry, we'd rather have the Marauders. Gnome: Except for Peter. We don't like him. Sploogal: Yeah, he's ugly and he whinges too much. You can keep him.  
  
Chapter 34  
  
~~~"How about Padfoot?" Suggested Lily. When everyone turned to look at her, she shrugged. "It's supposed to look like the grim. It 'haunts' graveyards, and it's supposedly the devil's disguise."~~~  
  
"How? How?" stuttered James.  
  
"Oh, come off it!" scoffed Lily. "It's so obvious - you're never anywhere near as lively around the full moon, and besides, I saw you lot near the Whomping Willow!"  
  
"What is going on here? What are you on about?" demanded Helga.  
  
"Let's go to the Room of Requirement, shall we?" Sirius suggested timidly.  
  
***In the Room of Requirement***  
  
"Remus, you begin." prompted Yvonne.  
  
"Ok, well, you see it's like this. . . I'm a werewolf." Remus stuttered, looking at his feet.  
  
Helga burst out laughing. "Now, that is funny."  
  
"It's not a joke." Sirius told her.  
  
"No, I mean, everyone says 'Oh a werewolf! How terribly scary!' and it turns out that one of the nicest guys in our year is one!" She explained, still giggling.  
  
"So, you don't mind then?" Remus asked hesitantly.  
  
"Oh, come off it! I can't see a snout or fur on you, and you're not trying to kill me, so why should I mind?" asked Helga.  
  
"So, that's the 'Moony' part, but what about 'Padfoot' and 'Prongs'?" Yvonne inquired.  
  
"Yes, well, um. . ." stuttered James, getting up to stand next to Sirius.  
  
"Ready?" Sirius asked.  
  
There was a "Pop!" and suddenly, where James and Sirius had stood, there was a large black dog, and a magnificent stag.  
  
Helga broke the resulting silence. "Yeah, I'll have to agree with Lily on this one. You do suit Padfoot." Helga stated as though she was merely commenting on the weather.  
  
A/N Sploogal: That was short, wasn't it? Gnome: For once you're right about something. That was short. Sploogal: Is the next one long enough to make up for it? Gnome: (Flicks through drafts folder) I hope your fingers aren't tired yet, because you have a lot of typing to do. Sploogal: (Whimpers)  
  
Sorry, we went sailing today in Gnome's new(ish) boat. It's so fun! We didn't capsize this time! Lol. Anyway, we're a little hyper. (You can probably tell!)  
  
Ok, thanks to "Loony bout Lupin" "Selina Marie Souza" "DavidCamp" "Wicket(I love cricket" "SjabRox" "Manny2003"  
  
"Loony bout Lupin" Sure, you can use the chufflebrain thing! Actually, I should have disclaimed that, but I forgot to. It's from one of Tamora Pierce's books. She's a very good author, so I suggest you all read her books!  
  
"Selina Marie Souza" Don't worry about Rion. We like him too, so we're not going to kill him off. Or are we? Hehe. . .  
  
"DavidCamp" Yes, we'd all love to take Sirius Black out for a beer! Wish we could, eh? Thanks for recommending that fic! I (Sploogal) read it, and I thought it was great! To anyone else reading this, go to and read it. It's excellent!  
  
"Wicket(I love cricket" You know I don't care about cricket. Nobody in their right mind would have a crush on Brett Lee. We've all told you that a million times, but you don't seem to get it! You know you are making me insane! Have you finished the Pajama Band Song yet? Nina wants to hear it - we'll freak her out pretty thoroughly when we perform it for her! 


	35. chapter thirtyfive

Disclaimer: Oh yeah, sure, we own Harry Potter. Now hand over the royalties. If you're stupid enough to believe that we actually own Harry Potter, well, you'd better get back to fairy land.  
  
A/N Yay! We're past 200 reviews! We love you guys so much! You guys rock!  
  
Chapter 35  
  
Helga and Sirius were sitting in the Gryffindor Common Room, talking after the others had gone to bed.  
  
"Hey, you know Alison thinks that we're together now." pondered Sirius.  
  
"So? Let the bitch think what she wants to think!" Helga said a little savagely.  
  
"You don't know her very well," mused Sirius. "It'll be all over the school by now. That means that everyone will think you're taken - including all the nice young gentlemen who would like to date you."  
  
"So, what are you saying?" asked Helga, feeling that she really didn't want to know the answer.  
  
"We should, um, well. . ." began Sirius.  
  
"Hi guys!" James flopped onto a nearby armchair.  
  
"I thought you'd gone to bed?" Helga asked, confused.  
  
"Insomnia." answered James simply. "Shouldn't you be heading back to your dorm? Or were you planning on staying with Padfoot tonight?"  
  
"You are sick, James, just sick!" said a disgusted looking Helga. "I'd really rather not associate with such a sick minded person you know."  
  
"Here, I'll walk you." offered Sirius.  
  
"No, thanks. I don't want this sick minded idiot to think that we're up to anything else. Good night." with that, Helga exited the common room, slamming the portrait shut behind her.  
  
Sirius and James heard the Fat Lady yelling after her: "How dare you make such a racket at this time of night - and you're not even in Gryffindor!"  
  
"It's a disaster - my two best friends are love-sick!" James said, recalling Sirius' words from the previous summer.  
  
"Shut up James!" Sirius said, hitting him on the back of the head.  
  
***  
  
"Have you seen Helga?" Lily asked the boys the next morning.  
  
"No. Well, we saw her last night, but she went back to the Hufflepuff dorms around ten." replied Sirius.  
  
"I should hope she went back to her own dorm," Remus said. "Why do you ask?"  
  
"You didn't offer to walk her? Perhaps you've forgotten, but a certain person is gaining power, and he seems to have something against those close to a certain person in our group!" Lily yelled.  
  
"I did offer - she refused!" Sirius said defensively. 'What's got you so stressed about it?"  
  
"She's missing." Yvonne stated looking worried. "We've already asked the Hufflepuffs, and Bertha Jorkins said that she never went back to her dorm last night."  
  
"Have you told Dumbledore?" James asked worriedly.  
  
"No. We thought we should ask you first, and we don't want to get her into trouble for no good reason." Lily told them.  
  
"Well, I think we ought to go and see Dumbledore now." Remus said.  
  
A/N *And the dramatic music plays in the background as the insane cackling of Garden Gnome and Sploogal drowns out Remus' voice.* Sploogal: Dun dun dun. . . Dramatic beaver!!! (Did anyone ever watch that cartoon, Angry Beavers? Hehe. If you did, you know how to say that.) Garden Gnome: *Rolls eyes* Grow up J.I.M. Sploogal: Don't call me that. Garden Gnome: Why not J.I.M? Sploogal: Because I said so! Seafood!!! *Opens mouth containing chewed up vegemite roll* Garden Gnome: Gross! *After recovering from shock, rolls eyes* Real mature, Sploogal. Thanks to everyone who reviewed since last time we said thanks! We love you guys! In particular, thanks to "Hoover" "blondmoments258" "Choc_Syrup" "ReBelleRose" "danran" "Jade" "Manny2003" "MagickalStar135" "SjabRox" "DUDE!!!" "HPFREEK" "ChaosLightning13" "LotusStar"  
  
"MagickalStar135" That's a really good idea! We may write something like that over the summer holidays (when we have lot's of time) but right now we're supposed to be studying for the end of year exams. Emphasis on 'supposed'. Lol.  
  
"SjabRox" Sorry it's getting so sad. We find it very easy to write torturous stuff for James, Sirius, and Remus. Don't worry though - it gets happier soon. And we have a very cute scene involving Lily and James planned out for their summer holidays. You'll have to wait about another ten or so chapters, though. Sorry.  
  
"Lia D. Green" You're a whinging bitch. Stuff you. Go back to Woopwoop and put your balls on straight. 


	36. chapter thirtysix

Disclaimer: We don't own Harry Potter. Like we'd want to own an idiot like that anyway! Now, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and James Potter - There's a few people we'd like to own. Sadly, we don't.  
  
A/N Carmen helped us with this chapter. Thanks Carmen!  
  
Chapter 35  
  
"So you believe Muss Prewitt has disappeared." Dumbledore confirmed, his twinkling blue eyes unusually grave.  
  
"Yes. She was with James and I in the common room, but she left at ten o'clock last night." Sirius began.  
  
"But she never got back to her dorm." exclaimed Lily, her face looking extremely worried in the candlelight.  
  
"She may have gone to the library to study." Dumbledore suggested.  
  
"I really don't think so." Lily said. "Bertha told us that she never returned to the Hufflepuff dorm at all."  
  
"But is Miss Jorkins a trustworthy source of information?" Dumbledore questioned with a smile. Sirius thought he saw a twinkle in the old man's eyes.  
  
"Oh." said Lily softly.  
  
Dumbledore stood up suddenly and walked to the door of his office. He pushed it open. There stood James looking as though he was about ready to break the door down himself.  
  
"Wha-" James started.  
  
"What is it James?" Dumbledore's voice had a hint of urgency in it.  
  
"Oh, um, I got this from Helga." James explained, holding up a piece of crumpled parchment.  
  
"Why-" interrupted Lily.  
  
"Shh Lily." James said. "I got this from Helga. She's been taken by, uh, Voldemort."  
  
"Hell!" Sirius shouted.  
  
"Right. You three are to return to Gryffindor Tower this instant. Do not mention this to anyone else." instructed Dumbledore. He looked James and Sirius in the eyes. "I don't want you attempting any dangerous acts of heroism."  
  
They exited Dumbledore's office in silence and walked back to their common room. All the way back, Lily kept shooting suspicious glances at James.  
  
"So, what are we going to do?" Sirius asked once they were sitting down.  
  
"I think we should wait here. Dumbledore's right: Helga wouldn't want us to risk our lives over this." Yvonne said.  
  
"Do you even realise who that snake-faced bastard is?" James exploded. "He wants her, and my guess is that he wants her dead, and you just want to wait?!"  
  
"James is right, Yvonne." agreed Remus. "We have to go and find her."  
  
"I just thought someone had to say it. I never expected you to agree to it." Yvonne said defensively. "So when do we leave?"  
  
"As soon as we can, but we need to know where she is being held." Sirius said immediately.  
  
"The note said 'The top level of a run down house not far from Hogwarts.'" James read off a piece of parchment. In response to the unspoken question, James answered "I duplicated it."  
  
"Right, well now we know her exact location, all we need is a plan." Remus said simply.  
  
"You know where she is just from that description?" Sirius asked disbelievingly.  
  
"Yes. James, get your invisibility cloak. We're going to pay a visit to the Shrieking Shack."  
  
A/N Sorry about the wait on that. We'll try and have more up soon, but the teachers are going nuts giving out homework and assignments, so you may have to wait another week. We promise that we'll try our best to continue updating as frequently as possible, but no promises. Thanks to: "Piper13" "Lasharon" "blondemoments258" "XxsilverxwingsxX" "Alex Browning" "ronluvr28" "Phoenix141" "SjabRox" "Maddy-Riddle" "Manny2003"  
  
"Lasharon" we do care! We love to know that we are loved! No, seriously, the more reviews we get, the happier we are, and the more motivated we feel to write! About the spelling mistakes - You said that we typed 'sed' rather than 'said'. That, and any similar weird mistakes, are because of msn. We're so used to using abbreviations that it just happens without thinking about it. We do try not to do that though. And that thing with the ends of sentences when the speaker is cut off is partly our fault and partly ff.net's fault. We cant' get the thing to load properly, so until we figure that out you'll just have to ignore those. Thanks heaps for pointing it out though, because we weren't quite sure what was correct there. We're trying to get a bit of everything in this fic, so sorry if you don't like fluff. You can be comforted by the fact that fluff is not the main focus.  
  
"blondemoments258" Sorry about the language in the last author's note. We didn't really think that it was that bad compared to what we actually said out loud, but sorry if we may have offended you or anyone else. It was unintentional. Thanks for your support though.  
  
"Alex Browning" Thankyou! *feeling warm and fuzzy*  
  
"ronluvr28" Spirit reviews are cool! Lol. Texas eh? So you don't ride horses to school - well we don't ride kangaroos to school. Just so that you know. (A girl in my year went overseas and was asked if she rode a kangaroo to school. She laughed.)  
  
"SjabRox" I think I added you to msn. I'm not sure though. . . Anyway, I'm not often on except in the holidays and at weekends, so if you want to talk there it'll be a few weeks.  
  
"Maddy-Riddle" Sorry, but the chapters aren't going to get much longer than they are. That's just the way that we're doing this story. We will try to update as often as possible though if that's any consolation. 


	37. chapter thirtyseven

Disclaimer: We don't own Harry Potter.  
  
Chapter 37  
  
"Great! Just great. How do we get into the tunnel?" Sirius asked Remus.  
  
The five were dodging punches from the Whomping Willow. Remus didn't reply to Sirius' question out loud, but instead picked up a long stick and pushed the know on the trunk. Immediately the tree froze.  
  
"Oh." said Sirius before walking to the willow and sliding down the now exposed hole at its base, closely followed by Remus, Yvonne, Lily and James.  
  
"Lumos." whispered Remus. "Right, now you two," he pointed at James and Sirius, "Transform. Me and Lily and Yvonne will go under the invisibility cloak."  
  
The four did as Remus had instructed, and Sirius took the lead. He walked fast but looked cautiously around every corner. They walked for ten minutes before they heard voices.  
  
"Our master will not be happy with your incompetence." hissed a voice. "For all we know, she's given them our exact location!"  
  
"Why don't we just dispose of her?" asked a second voice.  
  
"We will wait for our master's orders." replied the first, his voice deadly.  
  
Lily, Remus and Yvonne removed the cloak at the same time as Sirius moved around the corner: He was growling and his hackles were up.  
  
"Stupify!" shouted three voices. The two black forms crumpled.  
  
James and Sirius transformed back to human form and ran up the stars.  
  
"Helga?"  
  
They entered the bedroom. Helga was sitting on the bed, her eyes as round as saucers.  
  
"Who are you?" she whispered, frightened.  
  
James and Sirius shared a worried glance.  
  
"We're friends. We've come to take you back to Hogwarts." replied James.  
  
"How do I know you're not going to hurt me like they did?"  
  
James dug inside his robes, pulled out the note and handed it to Helga. "Did they hurt you badly?" he asked with a hint of anger.  
  
She nodded. James pointed his wand at a nearby chair and transfigured it into a stretcher. "Here. The cruciatus curse really takes it out of you."  
  
Helga tried to stand up and nearly collapsed, but Sirius caught her just in time. She smiled faintly and allowed him to help her onto the stretcher.  
  
*** "Miss Prewitt has lost much of her memory due to the use of the cruciatus curse on her. She will have to be sent to St Mungo's." Madame Pomfrey informed Sirius, James, Lily and Yvonne.  
  
"Will she get her memory back?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Hopefully you reached her in time." Madame Pomfrey replied. "But there is a good chance that she won't. I'm sorry." She turned and walked slowly back to her other patients.  
  
A/N Ok, so the 'rescue' was a little lame, but there's more coming soon so, um, yeah. Anyway, we're going to try and get everything that we've written typed and posted within the next week or so. That's another nine chapters. After that, it may take a while before another update shows up, because we have written a scene that we are trying to perfect. The aforementioned scene contains the BIGGEST BEST and MOST PAINFUL cliff-hanger that we have ever written, or are ever likely to write. (Except for the one a few chapters later. Lol.) No, seriously, if we don't get any feedback saying something along the lines of "You b****es! How could you do that? Argh!!!" we'll probably be a little offended, so when we get up to that bit (and believe us, you'll know it when you read it) don't hesitate to ear- bash us a little. As long as there are no personal attacks, because they suck. Thanks to: "ChaosLightning13" "SjabRox" "Moony2187" "Maddy-Riddle" "sturgis podmore" "ronluvr28" "ReBelleRose"  
  
"Moony2187" I read the start of your essay thingy - it's great! I'll finish reading it tomorrow (when I have more time to take it in properly).  
  
"Maddy-Riddle" Why do you want Snape? I mean, he does have a sort of attractive personality, but he's still a git! (Sorry. I don't like him even if I do respect him.)  
  
"Sturgis podmore" We don't like Harry very much anymore. We know it really wasn't entirely his fault when that person died, but we still can't help but blame him a little. Besides, I think he's very obnoxious. And full of himself. And stupid. I can see why you'd want to stand up for him though. I used to like him.  
  
"ronluvr28" Schmoo? Ok then. Going over here now. *whistles and walks off* 


	38. chapter thirtyeight

Disclaimer: Not ours.  
  
Chapter 38  
  
Lily was sitting in front of the fire in the Gryffindor Common Room with an arm around Sirius' shoulders.  
  
"There's still a chance that she'll be fine." she told him softly.  
  
"I wanted to take her to the ball you know. I really like her."  
  
"Yeah, I know." Lily responded softly, hugging him and resting her head on his shoulder.  
  
***  
  
James crept down the stairs under his invisibility cloak with the intention of going to the library to read up on the cruciatus curse. He stopped dead at the bottom of the stairs, staring in shock at the two figures sitting in front of the fire.  
  
"Thanks Lils." he heard Sirius whisper affectionately.  
  
"Any time." Lily smiled.  
  
She kissed him on the cheek and walked up the stairs leading to her dorm. Sirius got up and went to his own dorm, just missing bumping into James, who had quickly pressed himself against the wall.  
  
After Sirius had disappeared up the stairs, James continued on his way to the library thinking some very angry thoughts about his supposed 'best friend'.  
  
***  
  
"Damn." James hissed upon finding the library door locked. He pulled out his wand. "Alohomora."  
  
He pushed the door open, wincing as it creaked on its hinges, and tiptoed in slowly.  
  
"Lumos."  
  
James entered the Restricted Section, looking over his shoulder as he did so even though he knew that he was invisible. Looking back ahead of him again, he was shocked to see a boy who looked a little younger than himself materialise in front of him.  
  
"Hey, you!" he called, but the boy showed no sign of hearing.  
  
He walked closer and tried to tap the boy on the shoulder, but found that his hand simply passed through the boy. Inspecting the boy, James realised that the two of them could almost pass for twins - except for their height and their eyes. The boy was a little shorter than James and had green eyes. The boy pulled a large, heavy looking book off the shelf and held his lantern close to it so that he could read it. He suddenly jumped as if somebody had made a sound and dropped the book and the lantern. James looked around but there was nobody there. The boy quickly walked away, fading out of James' sight as he did so and still showing no sign of having noticed James. The lantern also faded but the book remained where he had dropped it.  
  
James shook himself and rubbed his eyes. The book was still there. He picked it up and started flicking through the pages, pausing every few moments to check that no-one was there. Coming to a page headed "The Unforgivables: Cruciatus" he skim-read until he got to the part that was of interest to him.  
  
"This curse, if used excessively, has the potential to cause memory loss and/or insanity. Depending on the power exerted by the caster, the length of time that the victim is held under the curse and the victim's will power, these effects may or may not be curable. There is a little-known charm that was experimented with in the middle-ages that, in theory, can lift the effects of the cruciatus, but it is not known whether or not there were any successful attempts at using this charm. Assuming that the charm works, the caster would have to have great magical strength and will power as well as some sort of connection (relative or close friend) to the victim. The incantation for the charm is 'Expecto Remembrall'. It must be cast within a week of the cruciatus curse in order to have any positive effect."  
  
James re-read the passage before checking his watch. "3 o'clock. I'd best get to bed." he muttered.  
  
He wrote the incantation on his arm before turning to head back to Gryffindor Tower. He took one step forward and bumped into something solid. Looking up, he realised that that 'something' was, in fact, a 'someone'.  
  
"Good evening Mr Potter. Or should I say good morning?" came the unmistakable voice of the headmaster.  
  
A/N As you can see, Hermes has been located. He was hiding under Sploogal's bed. With Hermes back, there will be rapid updates until some time around chapter 45 or 46. Then there will probably be no more updates again until after New Year because Gnome's going overseas. Lucky Gnome. Sploogal will be attempting to fit into Gnome's suitcase.  
  
Thanks to the following people for reviewing: "the counter" "Kandy916" "Jade" "danran" "Siriusbaby" "ReBelleRose" "Hoover" "Nie Starwhistler" "Maddy-Riddle" "sweetyp" "magickalstar135" "ronluvr28" "SjabRox" "jenova- san" "flying-piggy-123" "l[LiSa PiCe'A PePeRoNi PiZZA]l" "Moony2187" "ChaosLightning13"  
  
"Kandy916" - That script thing was pretty funny but if you want to send us anything like that to read would you please email it to sploogal@hotmail.com rather than sending it as a review? You'll get a faster response that way. Thanks.  
  
"Jade" - I don't think that you can talk to people on aim if you're on msn but I'm not sure. Sorry.  
  
"Siriusbaby" - I (Sploogal) will have a look at 'Love Conquers All' soon.  
  
"ReBelleRose" - Yeah, the rescue was pretty weak, eh? I don't think we really have an excuse for that other than the fact that we wrote it during maths, so we were a little distracted. Hopefully we'll get around to the 're-writing thing' soon and make that bit a little better, but until then that's how it's staying. Sorry.  
  
"sweetyp" - I think that the whole "I'm so bored of where I live" thing is one of those "The grass is always greener" things. Garden Gnome is the nickname of Sploogal's co-writer for this fic. Sploogal did not actually speak to a garden gnome. Hehe.  
  
"Magickalstar135" - Don't hurt Sirius and James you say? *laughs evilly* We have some lovely Sirius and James torture coming up in their sixth year. And some James torture for the end of seventh year. (Sploogal's already started writing their graduation. Poor James. Mwahahahaha!)  
  
"SjabRox" - Have a look at what we wrote to "ReBelleRose" for the thing about the rescue being uneventful.  
  
"Moony2187" - I (Sploogal) still haven't finished reading your essay thing - I have problems reading off the computer screen so it will probably take a while for me to finish it. I like what I've read so far and I'll review it when I'm finished.  
  
"ChaosLightning13" - Thanks for the suggestion! About Snape apologising to Lily - Most of this was written before the fifth book came out, so technically it's not in canon anymore. We're not going to completely change the entire fic to fit with book five canon because it's simply not possible. If you want to read something that's mostly in canon check out Sploogal's "Seven Years at Hogwarts". 


	39. chapter thirtynine

Disclaimer: Here is a list of what we own: The plot, a few pens, a file full of drafts. Notice that Harry Potter does not appear on that list.  
  
Chapter 39  
  
"So James, what were you doing in the library, in the restricted section no less, at three o'clock this morning?" Dumbledore asked with the familiar twinkle in his eye.  
  
"I was looking for something to help Helga and Rion." James replied truthfully.  
  
"Well?"  
  
"Sorry, sir?" James asked, confused.  
  
"Did you find anything useful?" the headmaster verified.  
  
"Oh. Yes. There was this charm that's supposedly a little like the patronus charm." James explained everything he'd read about the charm.  
  
Dumbledore sat and listened, deep in thought.  
  
"That's not all professor." James said. "When I was in there, I saw this boy who looks exactly like me, but when I got near him, he vanished."  
  
"Perhaps it was a premonition. What do you think?" Dumbledore asked.  
  
"I guess, maybe. It doesn't matter though, does it?" James asked, and continued without waiting for an answer. "Can I go to St Mungo's and see if the charm works?"  
  
"We shall see. I will try to organise it for you, but for now you should return to your Common Room. You should not tell your friends of this. It does not do to get one's hopes up when there is little chance of success."  
  
"Um," James hesitated. "What about my detention?"  
  
"Surely you do not want a detention?" Dumbledore asked, his moustache quivering.  
  
"No, but -" began James.  
  
"When the staff at St Mungo's give us permission to visit Helga, I will owl you concerning your 'detention'." Dumbledore replied.  
  
James nodded and left the room.  
  
A/N *looks around sheepishly* Eep. So sorry. SO SORRY!!! Sploogal's fault. I know I said we'd be updating frequently for a while, but I got busy and then I got bored. I guess boredom's not really an excuse, but I'm still going to use it. To make up for it, I will be posting five chapters today. Does that make it better? *walks off with hunched shoulders*  
  
Thanks to all our faithful reviewers! To be more specific, thanks to: "ReBelleRose" "bLoNdEmOmEnTs258" "Kandy916" Moony2187" MagickalStar135" Loony Bout Lupin" "Nie Starwhistler" "1(LiSa PiCe'A PePeRoNi PiZzA)1" "bigsmile737" "SjabRox" "Hoover" and "ChaosLightning13"  
  
ReBelleRose - The boy is Harry, but don't ask why he's there. That's a secret that Garden Gnome is keeping entirely to herself. She won't even tell me!  
  
SjabRox - I don't know. Garden Gnome won't tell me.  
  
Loony Bout Lupin - Yes, it was Harry.  
  
bigsmile737 - Sorry. We can't promise not to kill anyone. Where's the fun in that? 


	40. chapter forty

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not ours.  
  
Thanks to Carmen for writing another bit in here.  
  
Chapter 40  
  
"Where is James?" Lily asked Sirius.  
  
"He went to see Dumbledore." Sirius replied.  
  
"Why? Is he ok?" Lily sounded worried.  
  
"Dumbledore found him in the restricted section at around three o'clock this morning. Apparently he was searching for a cure or something for Helga." Sirius paused before continuing. "Is it my imagination, or does he seem to be somewhat attached to her?"  
  
"I thought it was just me, but yes, they do seem pretty close. And why did she owl him the letter instead of you?" Lily asked.  
  
"I don't know. I didn't think they liked each other that much. I mean, James always told me that he like you. I don't know. He just doesn't seem so,"  
  
"In love?" Lily whispered.  
  
Sirius looked at her. She had one lone tear running down her cheek.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Lily, if James and Helga end up going to the ball together, will you go with me?"  
  
Lily smiled shakily. "Sure Sirius."  
  
Sirius smiled back at her and headed up to his dorm.  
  
***Carmen's bit***  
  
All the while, James had been standing unnoticed just inside the entrance to the common room. He'd heard everything and was now absolutely fuming.  
  
'How dare they?!' he thought to himself. 'Especially Sirius. I bet he would have done the same for Lily or Yvonne as I did for Helga last night.'  
  
"James." Sirius said, looking up from a book as James walked into the dorm.  
  
James said nothing, immediately alerting Sirius to the fact that something was wrong.  
  
"James, did you just eat a lemon, or are you angry about something?"  
  
"I didn't just eat a lemon." James said angrily.  
  
"You sure? 'Cause it looks like you did." Sirius joked. "Come on, tell your buddy what's wrong."  
  
"Buddy? Ha!" James yelled. "You're not my buddy!"  
  
He proceeded to let out all the anger and stress that he'd been keeping bottled up since he'd received the letter about Rion.  
  
"Oh." said Sirius when he'd finished. "I see."  
  
"What?" spat James.  
  
"You think that just because Lily and I decided to go to the ball together, we're having an affair behind your back. Well James Potter, for your information, Lily was upset by the fact that you've been running around trying to save Helga and completely ignoring her in the process. She wants to know why you're so attached to Helga, and quite frankly, I'd like to know why too."  
  
Sirius shot a look at the doorway behind James, but James ignored this.  
  
"Maybe she ought to ask me herself rather than go out with my supposed best friend behind my back!" James yelled.  
  
"Ok then. Why?" asked a voice from behind him.  
  
"Um, well, I," James stuttered, his confusion overtaking his anger.  
  
"Have you got something to say or not?" Lily demanded.  
  
James gulped, searching for the right words.  
  
"I see." Lily turned on her heel and stormed off.  
  
***End Carmen's bit***  
  
A moment later, an owl swooped in through the open window and dropped a letter at James' feet before flying away again. He pick it up and read it silently.  
  
"Mr Potter, I have managed to arrange for you to visit Miss Prewitt this afternoon. Come and see me immediately. Sincerely, Albus Dumbledore"  
  
A/N Please review. 


	41. chapter fortyone

Disclaimer: We own little besides the plot and a couple of original characters.  
  
Chapter 41  
  
When James arrived at St Mungo's, he went straight to the front desk to ask for directions.  
  
"Hi. Um, Professor Dumbledore said to ask you about my friend Helga Prewitt."  
  
"She's in the closed ward. Here's a map." the nurse behind the desk handed James a piece of parchment before turning to the next person.  
  
"May I help you?"  
  
James looked at the map. It looked like a muggle map, but with labelled dots representing people.  
  
"Cool." he muttered. (Sploogal: More muttering. *evils*)  
  
He figured out where he was going and stuffed the map into his pocket before walking to the stairs.  
  
***  
  
"Hello. Who are you?" Helga asked him as he approached.  
  
"Uh, James Potter. I go to the same school as you." He replied uncertainly.  
  
"Oh. What school's that?" Helga asked.  
  
"Hogwarts. I think I might have found a way to help you remember everything." James explained, taking out his wand.  
  
"What are you going to do with that?" Helga asked, eyeing the wand warily.  
  
"I found a charm that should be able to make you better." James said. "Are you ready?"  
  
Helga nodded.  
  
"Expecto Remembrall!" James cried.  
  
A misty form similar to a patronus that looked like a huge shaggy dog shot out of the end of his wand and pounced on Helga, sniffing and licking her face.  
  
"Padfoot!" Helga exclaimed as the dog faded. "James, that's so sweet! You're patronus is Sirius!"  
  
"Yeah, it is. Hey, hang on a minute, you remember!" James exclaimed.  
  
"It's pretty hard to forget that two underaged wizards managed to become animagi!"  
  
James rolled his eyes. "I mean, your memory's back!"  
  
"Sirius must think I'm such an idiot." Helga said mainly to herself.  
  
"Well, he and Lily seem to be getting on ok together." James said sourly.  
  
"Visiting hours are over." said a nurse, walking into the room. "You should be leaving now."  
  
"Debra." Helga said. "This is my friend James. James, this is Nurse Debra."  
  
"Your boyfriend?" Debra asked.  
  
Helga looked shocked. "Hell no! We just go to school together. We share most of our classes."  
  
Debra stared.  
  
"Excuse my language." Helga said sheepishly.  
  
"Your memory has returned!" Debra exclaimed.  
  
She turned to James, who was still standing in the doorway, watching with an amused smile.  
  
"If you'll step outside, we can test her memory, and if everything is ok we'll release her."  
  
"Great!" James said happily. "I'll see you later Helga."  
  
"Oooh. He is hot! So, if he's not your boyfriend, can I have him?" Debra asked slyly.  
  
"Uh, well, I don't know about that, I um," Helga protested, thinking of Lily.  
  
James grinned as he walked out of earshot. He sprinted to the room where Rion was being kept to see if the charm would work on him.  
  
"Expecto remembrall!" he shouted, pointing his wand at his brother as he entered the room.  
  
Padfoot's form appeared once again and walked over to Rion's limp form. It nudged him with it's nose and whined. Rion came to just as the dog faded away.  
  
"James?" Rion asked weakly.  
  
"Rion! You remember me?" asked James excitedly.  
  
"Remember you? Who could forget such an ugly face?" Rion joked.  
  
James punched Rion's shoulder lightly before giving him a big, long, brotherly hug.  
  
"I was so worried about you." James said.  
  
"Well, I'm all better now, so stop your worrying." Rion told him. "You better call a nurse or someone so I can get outta here. I'll see you on the school holidays, alright?"  
  
James nodded and ran off to fetch a nurse and catch up with Helga.  
  
***  
  
"Where's the portkey?" Helga asked James.  
  
"Here." James replied, pulling a quill out of his pocket.  
  
Helga looked down. "What were you saying about Lily and Sirius?"  
  
"They seem to be close. Very close." James answered hesitantly. "I thought I was just being an over-protective boyfriend, but he asked her to the ball."  
  
"Oh. Well, why don't we go together, too? That would be fun."  
  
A/N Reviews please? 


	42. chapter fortytwo

Disclaimer: Sploogal and Garden Gnome do not own Harry Potter.  
  
Chapter 42  
  
"The feast tonight is to honour a very much loved student who is among us once again." Dumbledore looked down the Hufflepuff table at Helga. "I would like to thank Mr James Potter for guiding Miss Prewitt on her road to recovery."  
  
The hall broke out in whispers.  
  
***  
  
"Sirius, who are you going to the ball with?" purred Alison, fluttering her eyelashes at him.  
  
"I'm going with -"  
  
"Me." Smiled Lily, sidling up to him.  
  
"Oh. I should have guessed. After all, sluts like you do go for any single man within a radius of ten kilometres!" Alison huffed before turning to see James blocking her path, his wand out and pointed straight at her.  
  
"What did you just say?" he asked in a deadly voice.  
  
"She, um," Alison stuttered.  
  
"Me and my friends have a different idea of who's a slut around here. Lily doesn't throw herself onto guys who obviously don't want her. She's going to the ball with her friend, not someone who can't stand to be around her."  
  
Alison opened and closed her mouth a few times looking like a fish out of water, then turned and left in a hurry.  
  
The anger in James' eyes faded and he turned to head up to his dorm, but Lily shot her arm out.  
  
"James, can I talk to you in private?" she asked.  
  
"Um, sure." he said uncertainly.  
  
Sirius and Helga beat a hasty retreat and James and Lily turned to each other.  
  
"Thankyou for standing up for me." Lily said. "You were right you know."  
  
"About what?" asked James, collapsing into an armchair.  
  
"That Sirius and I are going as friends. He really wanted to go with Helga, and I wanted to go with you, but you and Helga seemed so close."  
  
James pulled her onto his lap.  
  
"We are close. She's my friend, after all. But she's no more than that, I swear." he explained. "I'm sorry I've been ignoring you a bit, but when both Rion and Helga lost their memories the same way, I just felt like there had to be something I could do about it."  
  
"Why didn't she send the letter to Sirius though?" Lily asked, confused.  
  
"Her brother told her how he hates the way some girls pretend to be 'damsels in distress' in order to get a boyfriend. You know she likes Sirius. I guess she didn't want him to think she's weak." James grinned. "I'm glad Sirius beat Snape to asking you. I couldn't stand it if you were going with him!"  
  
Lily pulled a face. "Can he even dance?"  
  
"I don't know about normal dancing, but he was pretty good at ballet, wasn't he?" James said cheekily.  
  
A/N More reviews please! The next few chapters may be up tonight or tomorrow, or they may be up next week. I'm not really sure. I'll type them as quickly as I can, but they're not very legible. To see what I mean by that, replace the word 'dot' with an actual dot and remove the spaces in the following address. (ff.net won't upload the address properly)  
  
http:// sploogal (dot) tripod (dot) com / ftlop_draft_page (dot) jpg  
  
If you can make out what it says, think of it as a sneak preview at an upcoming chapter. If we don't get lots of juicy reviews for that particular chapter, we'll be mortally offended. Really. That's our best chapter, we think. I think you guys are going to hate us for writing it though. *evil laugh* 


	43. chapter fortythree

Disclaimer: We're just borrowing JKR's toys for a while.  We promise to return them when we're done.  Oh yeah, and we borrowed some of the rules from various people and books.  A couple of them are ours though.

Chapter 43

After classes had finished that Friday, Lily, feeling very tired, decided to read a book in the common room.  The marauders were late coming back from dinner (as usual) and it was common knowledge that anywhere the marauders went together, a lot of noise wasn't far behind.  Lily looked up from her book as the portrait hole opened and was surprised to see the three boys in question walking slowly and whispering to each other rather than shouting.

As they made their way across to the quieter corner of the common room where she was sitting, she saw that Remus was holding a piece of parchment and a quill, and he was writing what looked like a list.  She moved her chair slightly so that she could see what they were writing.  So far, it read:

Moony, Padfoot and Prongs' Rules for Marauding at Hogwarts

#1 Don't get caught

#2 When breaking rule #1, always have an excuse/alibi

#3 Silence is sometimes the best answer

#4 When in doubt, mumble

#5 When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried

#6 Whatever happens, look as if you intended it to happen

#7 Learn the rules so that you know how many you're breaking at any given time

#8 In disagreements, fight fairly.  No name-calling

#9 Whatever you are about to do, if there is a good chance it will get you killed, you probably shouldn't do i

#10 Never interrupt when you are being flattered

#11 Remember, it is easier to gain forgiveness than permission

Seeing Remus put down his quill, Lily assumed that they were finished for the time being.  She put down her book and spoke to them.

"I don't know why you're bothering to write all this down.  You know it anyway!"

All three of them jumped.

"Lily!"

"Rule number one boys, don't get caught." Lily said mock-sternly.

In accordance with rule number three, the marauders remained silent, hanging their heads and scuffing their toes.

Lily rolled her eyes at them.

"James, come with me would you?"

"Oooh. . . Now you're in for it Prongs!" Sirius teased.

"Yeah," agreed Remus.  "But don't worry – we'll send out a search party if you're not back by next year!"

"I dunno Moony.  Maybe we should let them have some time alone -"

"In the astronomy tower?" Remus cut in.

James blushed and Lily looked offended.

"You two are so immature!  Honestly, boys!"

She pulled James away by the arm.

A/N Reviews?  Please?  *down on knees begging*


	44. chapter fortyfour

Disclaimer: *checks Harry Potter books* It says here that JKR owns Harry Potter.  
  
Chapter 44  
  
James was surprised by Lily's strength as she forced him into a chair in the transfiguration room. (She had dragged him halfway across the school to talk to him in private.)  
  
"James, when are you going to grow up?"  
  
"Huh? What do you mean? You dragged me all the way over here just to talk about my behaviour?"  
  
"Why do you have to act so immature all the time? You're so smart! You pass all your subjects with top marks, and yet nobody's ever seen you study! All you do is goof around with your friends."  
  
Something about the way Lily said this made James think that she had been wanting to talk about this for a very long time, but he didn't understand why.  
  
"I like fooling around!" James protested. "And if I can have fun and still get good grades, why shouldn't I do it?"  
  
"Because you could be so much better, and still do what you feel like! If you can get these kinds of grades without any effort, have you ever stopped to question how well you would do if you put in as little as an hour every night? Even just an hour a week? That's not asking much!" Lily replied.  
  
James looked at her in surprise. He'd never given any thought to achieving more than he already did.  
  
"You really think I could do better?" he asked.  
  
"I'm sure of it." Lily said without even the slightest hint of doubt in her voice. "Even if it's not schoolwork. Maybe you could look at philosophy or something like that? I mean, transfiguring a book into a canary is one thing, but what would you do if someone asked you the meaning of life?"  
  
James sniggered. "I'd tell them to look it up in a dictionary. I'm a man - I have no need to keep that sort of knowledge in my head."  
  
"Well then, James Potter, think about this: Men are kings and kings are rulers. Rulers are thirty centimetres tall. Still think you're a man?"  
  
"I. . . err. . ." James was at a loss for words. When had Lily become so. . . weird? "Ok Lily. I'll study a bit."  
  
Seeing Lily's eyes light up, he panicked and continued quickly. "But not heaps, ok? I still want time for fun."  
  
"Thanks James," said Lily as she leaned in close to kiss him.  
  
***  
  
Remus and Sirius were just starting to wonder what was taking so long when Lily and James entered the common room with their arms draped over each other's shoulders.  
  
"Oi, Prongs!" called Sirius. "That was a quick snog session!"  
  
"Shut up Padfoot!" James snapped. "It just so happens that Lily and I had a little talk, and I think that what we talked about applies to both of you as well."  
  
"So, what did you talk about then?" Remus asked wearily.  
  
"We all get top grades with very little work. We should study more, because we could do a lot better." James recited.  
  
Sirius stared at James in horror, then turned and stared at Lily in respect.  
  
"Um, James?" prompted Remus. "Are you ok? Lily didn't do anything to you, did she?"  
  
"What? No! She just spoke to me, that's all!" replied James. "And what she said makes sense. We should be better."  
  
"What about pranks?" asked Sirius, who seemed to have regained the ability to speak.  
  
"We can still prank as much as before. It's not like she wants us to study constantly or anything." James assured his friend.  
  
"Well, now it's official." stated Remus after a moment.  
  
"What is?" James asked.  
  
"You and Lily are getting married."  
  
"What? Where did that come from?" demanded James.  
  
"Well, it takes a pretty special girl to make you actually want to study more Prongs. You must love her heaps to have agreed to this! She has you wrapped around her little finger!"  
  
James spent the rest of the evening muttering under his breath about beautiful redheads who had too much control over their boyfriends.  
  
A/N Thanks to "MagickalStar135" "TENIPURI" "missprongs" "mione_xavier" "saxistwriterchick" "xO HuGzNkIsSeS Ox" "Nie Starwhistler" "Ini" "ImSiriuslyInLUV" "Krystyn1688" "Jenna" "Lid0aLyLovEs*U" "Star" for your reviews! Love you guys!  
  
TENIPURI - *blushes* You think it's that good? *does a little dance* Yay! The last chapter of this fic will be the last night of the marauder's 7th year. After that we will probably do a sequel, but that may take a while. Anyway, we've already written the last chapter, we just need to write the bits in between.  
  
xO HuGzNkIsSeS Ox - Yeah, sorry it took so long. It's been what? Two months? Sorry. You see, the way this fic works is Garden Gnome and Sploogal both write new chapters while we're at school and then Sploogal is supposed to take it home and type and post and all that. We got busy a couple of months ago studying for exams and all, then after that, Sploogal got bored and lazy. Not a good combination. We'll try and update regularly from now on, but we can't make promises.  
  
Krystyn1688 - 'Pretty' story? I must say, I've never heard that one before. . . Thanks!  
  
Jenna - Pointless things rock our socks too!  
  
Star - I don't know what was with that 48 chapters thing, but I'm pretty sure it's ok now. 


	45. chapter fortyfive

Disclaimer: Not this again. You'd think that after 45 chapters people would get the message, right?  
  
Chapter 45  
  
The next morning, Lily walked down to breakfast and sat near the marauders. She picked up a spoon as the marauders watched with open mouths. She poured a bowl of cereal and went to dig her spoon into it when Sirius suddenly snatched the spoon from her hand.  
  
"Lily! What are you doing?" he asked her in a disgusted tone.  
  
Lily stared at him for a moment. "What?"  
  
"You should know better than to anger the spoon!" Sirius replied slowly.  
  
"Are you feeling ok, Sirius?"  
  
At this point, Remus decided to back Sirius up. "He's right you know. You shouldn't be nasty to the spoon, Lily."  
  
Lily rolled her eyes. "Why not"  
  
Sirius turned to James. "You didn't tell her?!"  
  
"Err. . . No." James replied sheepishly.  
  
Sirius and Remus looked furious and shouted in unison, "JAMES!"  
  
Lily and James, also in unison, asked, "What?"  
  
"What are you lot on about?" Lily asked.  
  
James looked at her meaningfully. "The spoon controls the weather."  
  
There was a moment's silence.  
  
"You're nuts."  
  
"Who's nuts?" asked the marauders, looking around.  
  
"All three of you!"  
  
"Hey!" said James indignantly. "We're not the ones trying to eat out cereal with a spoon you know!"  
  
Lily sighed and picked up a fork. "This better?"  
  
"NO!" Yelled all three marauders at once.  
  
"The fork's more powerful than the spoon." Sirius explained.  
  
"Yeah," Remus agreed. "It's been trying to seize control of the weather."  
  
"In fact, if it weren't for the knife," James started.  
  
Lily groaned, rolled her eyes and moved to the Hufflepuff table.  
  
"Hi Helga! Do you mind if I sit with you?" Lily asked.  
  
"Sure." Helga smiled. "But why aren't you sitting at the Gryffindor table?"  
  
"Boys." Lily replied. "They're going on about pieces of cutlery controlling the weather."  
  
"Oh really?" Helga said with a glint in her eye similar to the one that Sirius got when he was up to no good.  
  
"Lily, why are we sitting here today?" asked Yvonne, sliding in next to Lily and Helga.  
  
Lily relayed the story to her quickly.  
  
"So, I was thinking," Helga began, the glint still in her eye. "We could jinx the boys so that whenever they touch their cutlery, they get rained or snowed on or something."  
  
The girls laughed.  
  
"Helga, you're a genius."  
  
"I know!" Helga replied matter-of-factly before the three of them dissolved into giggles again.  
  
A/N I'll try and get another chapter out tonight if I can. Maybe more than that. Reviews please! 


	46. chapter fortysix

Disclaimer: You're not that stupid are you? Really. *walks off muttering under breath*  
  
Chapter 46  
  
James, Sirius and Remus sat down for lunch in the Great Hall. They noticed that Lily, Yvonne and Helga were already seated, and were watching out of the corners of their eyes. The boys decided to think nothing of this.  
  
"It's nice weather today," James said, looking up at the charmed ceiling. "Perfect for quidditch."  
  
"Yeah, why don't we go flying?" Remus suggested.  
  
"Food first." Sirius said forcefully before picking up his spoon.  
  
The air around them was illuminated for a second before a crack of thunder was heard and a rain cloud appeared above them.  
  
"What's going on here? Now we won't be able to play quidditch!" James whined, unaware that only the marauders were affected by the rain cloud and that the weather hadn't actually changed.  
  
Remus rolled his eyes, grabbed a piece of toast and picked up his knife. As he did so, the rain cloud floated away.  
  
"I could have sworn the weather just changed." Sirius said suspiciously.  
  
"At least it doesn't look like it's going to rain anymore." James said, picking up his fork.  
  
The cloud returned.  
  
"Ok, what the heck is going on?" James demanded.  
  
Remus opened his mouth to answer but Yvonne beat him to it.  
  
"We thought you knew the spoon controls the weather."  
  
"And the fork's more powerful than the spoon, right?" piped up Helga.  
  
"Of course, but remember that the knife is the most powerful of all and is preventing the fork from taking over." Lily put in.  
  
Sirius touched each piece of cutlery in turn, making the clouds change with each touch. He grinned and began touching pieces of cutlery at random. Lily and Helga rolled their eyes and returned to their meals.  
  
***  
  
The girls correctly figured that since it was a fine day, the boys would be planning to go flying after breakfast. As they ate, Lily told Yvonne and Helga about James' promise to stuffy more. She saw the boys finish eating and get up from the table, so she rushed to head them off.  
  
"Just where do you think you're going, James Francis Potter?"  
  
James looked at Lily as though she was doing the Mexican hat dance in the nude or had suddenly sprouted celery sticks from the top of her head, and replied, "We're going flying, mother. If that's ok with you?"  
  
"Did you forget your promise already?" Lily demanded. "You should be studying!"  
  
"Aw, but Lily, the weather's perfect!" James whined.  
  
Lily simply gave him a stern look.  
  
James groaned and told Sirius and Remus that he'd join them later. His friends sniggered in his general direction as he allowed Lily, Yvonne and Helga to tow him away to the library. As he went, he muttered (Sploogal: *screams*) derisive comments under his breath.  
  
A/N Thanks to all our faithful reviewers! There will be more today!  
  
Thanks "Hoover" "Rogue Misfit Marauder Jedi" "Shnark" "ReBelleRose" "saxistwriterchick" and sorry if we missed anyone.  
  
Hoover - Are you serious? I thought we still had two weeks of blissful ignorance left before we had to go back to school!  
  
Rogue Misfit Marauder Jedi - You can't hex my computer! You can't you can't you can't! *cries* I updated please don't hex my wonderful super- computer! Ok, so it's not so wonderful, and it's not a super-computer. It actually crashes every couple of hours just to annoy me, but please don't hex it anyway!  
  
Shnark - Yes, we watched Lily and Stitch. We didn't actually realise we'd gotten that bit from there until we read it through the second time, then we were like, "Oh damn". I forgot to put that in the disclaimer. I should go and do that. Actually, I've decided that I'd like to continue living in Australia, but go on holidays ever month or so.  
  
ReBelleRose - Yeah, maybe Remus should be a prophet. . . Lol. No that wasn't the 'best chapter' so far. I'll be putting a note at the top of that one. Does ice-cream age? What kind of a question is that? Actually, I really have no idea. I've never thought about it. Glad you liked Debra. We thought the charm was a bit under-done too, but we'll probably be re- doing that bit in a couple of months, so you'll just have to put up with it until then. I'll be sure to tell Gnome how sadistic she is. Again. Lol. I'll let Carmen know what you said, too, when I see her.  
  
saxistwriterchick - How do we do it? Good question. Let us know if you think of an answer! Lol. 


	47. chapter fortyseven

Disclaimer: I'm not saying it again.  
  
Chapter 47  
  
It wasn't for another hour that Lily allowed James to leave the library. Afterwards, he agreed that if had been very beneficial to him to spend the morning studying, but at the time he was just frustrated at not being able to go flying with his friends. He met Sirius and Remus outside the Great Hall for afternoon tea and the three of them sat at the opposite end of the table to the girls.  
  
"So, how was studying with darling Lily?" asked Sirius obnoxiously.  
  
"Shut up." James mumbled as Remus and Sirius sniggered.  
  
"Ahem."  
  
The three of them turned to look at Dumbledore, who was standing up trying to get the attention of the students.  
  
"As you know, with the ball taking place tonight, all afternoon classes have been cancelled." He waited for the cheers to stop before continuing. "This hall will be out of bounds from now until the start of the ball in order to give the prefects a chance to decorate."  
  
The hall erupted in chatter as Dumbledore sat back down.  
  
***  
  
(In Lily and Yvonne's dorm)  
  
"Lily, are you going to tell us what you're wearing tonight?" Yvonne asked.  
  
Lily looked down her nose at her friend. "You'll have to wait and see."  
  
"Aw, come on!" whined Helga, who had brought her things to the dorm. "It had better not be anything green."  
  
"Oh, well, since you guessed it, I suppose I can tell you." Lily said. "It's green with silver lining."  
  
"What? Are you mad? Slytherin colours? Snape might think she actually likes him or something!" Yvonne said with a shudder.  
  
"Hey, I was joking! Calm down! My dress is not green!" Lily said in a soothing voice to an hysterical Yvonne.  
  
Yvonne glared.  
  
A/N I'll try to get another one up tonight. We'll see. 


	48. chapter fortyeight

Disclaimer: Oh, honestly! This is so exasperating. I'm not going to bother. You all know we don't own it!  
  
Chapter 48  
  
The marauders were sitting in the chairs in the common room in silence for once. Suddenly James spoke up.  
  
"Why do girls have to take so long to get ready? Those three have been in there for," he glanced at his watch, "Three hours, twenty-four minutes and fourteen seconds."  
  
"Yes, and just think Prongs, one day you're going to be married to one of them!" Remus said slyly.  
  
"What makes you think I'd say yes?" a voice asked from the stairs.  
  
The boys jumped out of their seats and turned to face the direction the voice had come from. They froze with their mouths open. Slowly descending the stairs was one of the most beautiful girls they had ever seen.  
  
James was awestruck. Lily looked - there was no other word to describe her - like an angel. She was wearing a white dress that shimmered with every step she took. Her hair was curled and hung down in small ringlets. He shook his head wishing that she was his date instead of Sirius'. For the first time in his life, James felt pure anger and jealousy towards his best friend.  
  
"Sirius, if you weren't my best friend, I swear I'd kill you." James hissed.  
  
"Believe me, the feelings mutual." Sirius hissed back as Helga followed Lily down the stairs.  
  
All three girls reached the bottom of the staircase quickly. Lily walked over to James and kissed him on the cheek before linking arms with Sirius. Helga slipped her arm into James' own, and Yvonne and Remus did the same.  
  
"Let's go and have some fun."  
  
***  
  
"Will the prefects and their partners please enter the dance floor for the first dance of the evening?" Dumbledore called.  
  
James and Lily lead their dates into the floor and began to dance. When the song had ended, the four of them left the dance floor and sat at a nearby table with Remus and Yvonne. James sat next to Lily and spoke quietly in her ear.  
  
"This isn't fair."  
  
Lily shifted closer to him.  
  
"I was thinking the same thing." she whispered back.  
  
"Do you want to dance?" James asked her.  
  
"Of course!" she responded with a smile.  
  
They got up and moved to the dance floor just as a slow song began to play. Helga and Sirius followed them. James wrapped his arm around Lily's waist and drew her close to him. Lily put her hands around him and rested her head on his shoulder. She smiled when she saw Sirius and Helga doing the same thing.  
  
"What's up?" James asked her.  
  
"Sirius and Helga look so sweet together." Lily responded, looking up at James. "And I find it funny that she would put him in his place without a second thought, and he would let her do it."  
  
"Yeah. That's pretty strange for Sirius, but you know what? He really is serious about her. No pun intended."  
  
"Why do you say that?" Lily asked.  
  
"He never shuts up about her. It always Helga this and Helga that." James laughed.  
  
Sirius and Helga, having heard this all this, slowly made their way closer to James and Lily.  
  
"Like you can talk, Prongs!" Sirius butted in. "Really, Lily. I know you well enough that you could almost be my sister, and yet I hardly talk to you! Nothing short of a silencing charm will get him to stop going on about you! He's absolutely smitten with you!"  
  
James blushed. "Get lost Padfoot."  
  
A/N More coming. 


	49. chapter fortynine

Disclaimer: See previous chapters.  
  
Chapter 49  
  
"Another year gone, and what a year it has been! I would like to thank both the head boy and head girl for the activities that they've organised and for everything else that they have contributed to this school throughout the year." Dumbledore paused as the staff and students applauded the heads. "Remember, all of you, that we are strong united but weak divided. Remember that together, and only together, will we be able to fight the evil that is rising."  
  
"That wasn't exactly comforting." Sirius commented as he leaned in to dish out some food.  
  
James replied dryly, "What is comforting in this day and age?"  
  
"So that Voldie guy? What's he like?" Yvonne asked anxiously.  
  
They all looked at James.  
  
"Like a snake." he said eventually, like he was talking to someone who wasn't there. "A snake with red eyes. His voice. . . It's sort of high pitched, but it radiates evil in the worst kind of way." he seemed to come back to reality and forced a laugh. "Suits him, really. The bastard."  
  
They sat and ate in silence for a while before Helga walked over to join them. Seeing no spaces available nearby, she sat in Sirius' lap.  
  
"So, another year gone, huh? This year went so quickly! Now we've only got two years to go." she said excitedly.  
  
"I know what you mean." Yvonne agreed. "Hey guys, seeing as it's our last night at Hogwarts for a while, let's have a party. Sirius, James and Remus can sneak up to the kitchens and get some food and we can stay up all night!"  
  
"What makes you think we know how to get into the kitchens?" Sirius demanded.  
  
Lily tapped her nose. "We have our sources."  
  
"Right." said James, pulling her closer to him and wrapping his arms around her. "We'll meet you in the common room in a little while. You sort things out with McGonagall - she trusts you."  
  
***  
  
The whole of Gryffindor house, plus Helga, was gathered in the common room waiting for the marauders to arrive with the promised food. The portrait hole opened and a huge cheer was let out as various food items floated in, followed by the marauders themselves.  
  
"Nice to know our work is appreciated." Sirius grinned.  
  
The three of them pulled out a crate of butterbeer and the cheering started again.  
  
"How did you manage to get butterbeer?" Yvonne asked Remus.  
  
"Marauder's secret. I guess your 'sources' aren't so good after all, eh?" Remus teased.  
  
The party lasted until one o'clock in the morning when McGonagall came in and ordered everybody to bed.  
  
"It's been a long year." Remus commented, climbing into bed.  
  
Sirius and James whole-heartedly agreed.  
  
A/N Reviews please! The extra-special work-of-art author's-favourite wowish chapter is coming up soon. It's chapter 51. 


	50. chapter fifty

Disclaimer: You're not that stupid, are you?  
  
Chapter 50  
  
At King's Cross the next day, Lily and James left platform nine and three quarters together and were surprised to find Mr and Mrs Evans and Rion deep in conversation. James walked up behind Rion and gave him a bear hug.  
  
Rion struggled to pull his laughing brother off. When he finally managed it, he turned and gave him a noogie.  
  
"It's good to see you mate!" Rion exclaimed.  
  
James grinned. 'You too. Hi Mr and Mrs Evans!"  
  
"So, is this your girlfriend?" Rion teased, emphasising the last word.  
  
James blushed and started to retort, but changed his mind and turned to Lily. Lily looked at her parents and Rion and then looked back at James. She pulled him into a mind-blowing, knock-the-pants-off-the-pope kiss.  
  
"Answer your question, Orion?" James taunted as Lily left with her shocked parents.  
  
Rion chose to ignore this. "Where are Sirius and Remus? Weren't they coming with us?"  
  
"They're saying goodbye to Yvonne and Helga."  
  
James mentally kicked himself for giving Rion another reason to tease him and his friends as Sirius and Remus came through the barrier with their trunks. They stayed with James and Rion for the first week of the holidays, promising to meet at Diagon Alley later on.  
  
***  
  
A month or so later, Helga, Yvonne, Lily, James, Sirius and Remus met in Diagon Alley. They went to Florean's for ice-cream with their parents and Rion once they'd bought all their school supplies.  
  
The group of teenagers sat at the only available table in the courtyard, near a group of shifty looking men in dark robes.  
  
"Sirius, that's disgusting." Helga exclaimed as Sirius decorated his face with melted ice-cream.  
  
"Don't you think it looks good?" Sirius asked, mock offended.  
  
"No, I don't." Helga replied, wiping it off with her napkin.  
  
Sirius grinned as though that had been his original intention.  
  
James and Remus rolled their eyes.  
  
"Will you ever grow up?" Remus asked.  
  
Sirius appeared to think for a second, then shook his head vigorously.  
  
"Hey Lil, d'you wanna come back to my place this afternoon?" James asked.  
  
"Sure, I'd love to!"  
  
"Great, I'll tell Rion." James said getting up from his seat.  
  
As he got up, the men in dark robes who had occupied the table near them rushed over and grabbed him, Sirius and Remus, holding their arms behind their backs so that they couldn't reach for their wands.  
  
"James!" cried Rion, hearing the scuffle.  
  
Remus and Sirius' parents and Rion whipped out their wands and started throwing curses in the direction of the dark robed men, but they were too late. The men holding the marauders each touched a portkey to their struggling captives and vanished.  
  
Rion immediately took a mirror from his pocket and spoke into it, requesting a group of aurors to join him immediately.  
  
"Rion, what's going on?" Mrs Evans demanded.  
  
"Deatheaters." he replied grimly. "Voldemort's followers."  
  
Lily, Yvonne and Helga gasped.  
  
"Oh no!"  
  
***  
  
James, Sirius and Remus arrived in a cold dark corridor and immediately attempted to run from their captors. The deatheaters caught them easily and took their wands. They fought as best they could, but didn't do very well against men who were twice their size and number. They each picked up quite a few bruises before they were stunned unconscious and thrown into a small, dark cell.  
  
A/N YOU MUST READ THIS!!! DON'T SKIP IT! Ok, now that we have your attention. . . In the next few chapters you're probably going to develop a huge dislike for one of the characters. Chapter 51 in particular is very. . . well, difficult. Please don't stop reading this fic on account of this character's behaviour. We won't say now who that character is because that would ruin the surprise. It will be explained in a few chapter's time, we promise. By the way, we will be offended if we don't get hate mail for the next chapter. Just so you know.  
  
Keep the reviews coming. 


	51. chapter fiftyone

Disclaimer: We don't own Harry Potter. We also don't own Pirates of the Caribbean, but we used a couple of quotes from that anyway.  
  
A/N YOU MUST READ THIS!!! DON'T SKIP IT! Ok, now that we have your attention. . . In the next few chapters you're probably going to develop a huge dislike for one of the characters. Chapter 51 in particular is very. . . well, difficult. Please don't stop reading this fic on account of this character's behaviour. It will be explained in a few chapter's time, we promise.  
  
A reminder, we will be offended if we don't get a reaction out of this. This is our favourite chapter.  
  
Chapter 51 (you've been warned)  
  
James groaned and opened his one good eye, squinting at a figure in a dark cloak. He heard two moans from nearby, telling him that Remus and Sirius were awake. The death eater walked up to him and kicked him hard in the stomach.  
  
"Get up!" he ordered harshly. "Master wants to see you."  
  
The three of them got to their feet, their bruised and aching bodies protesting against the movement.  
  
***  
  
"Thankyou MacNair. Leave us."  
  
The deatheater bowed obediently and left.  
  
"James Potter, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin." Voldemort nodded to each of them. "I have been informed that you are quite adept in your studies."  
  
"So? What's that to you?" Remus spat.  
  
"Oh tut. Watch your manners child." Voldemort said airily.  
  
"Manners? Who are you to talk about manners? Do you call kidnapping, murdering and torturing people good manners?" James said angrily.  
  
"James, you've been listening to Lily too much." Sirius said quietly.  
  
"SILENCE!" roared Voldemort. "I have a proposition for you. Join me, and I will show you the way to power."  
  
Remus snorted. "I'm disinclined to act upon your request."  
  
"Means 'no'." James added.  
  
They both looked to Sirius for his witty contribution. Sirius kneeled in front of Voldemort.  
  
Remus looked at him apprehensively. "Please don't do anything stupid."  
  
"I'll join you my lord." Sirius said sincerely.  
  
"Like that." James said disbelievingly.  
  
Voldemort looked mildly surprised. "And here I thought I was going to have to kill you. I thought you too 'noble' to join my cause."  
  
James and Remus were still looking on in shock and horror.  
  
"Me? I'm just dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest men you have to watch because you can never predict when they're about to do something stupid."  
  
Voldemort took Sirius' wand from his pocket and stood twirling it in his hand.  
  
"Those two will have to be killed." Voldemort said, looking into Sirius eyes. "Unless you object?"  
  
"No, by all means kill the whelps." Sirius said aloofly without even glancing towards James or Remus. "But not now. Let them suffer in anticipation. Don't let them know when they will die."  
  
Voldemort smiled grimly. "I like your way of thinking young Black. You will return to Hogwarts in a week and spy on my nemesis, Dumbledore."  
  
Sirius hesitated slightly then bowed to Voldemort. "I'll need my wand, my lord."  
  
Voldemort handed Sirius his wand, and Sirius pocketed it.  
  
"MacNair!"  
  
The deatheater returned quickly and bowed to Voldemort.  
  
"You and Black will escort Potter and Lupin to a cell. Make it an unpleasant one."  
  
Sirius and MacNair bowed low to Voldemort and grabbed James and Remus roughly. James, who was held by Sirius, elbowed him in the stomach and wriggled out of his grasp.  
  
"Get your hands off me, you traitor!" he growled, anger and betrayal flashing in his eyes.  
  
Sirius looked hurt for a second, but quickly assumed a black, unreadable expression. He didn't say anything, but walked behind James the rest of the way, occasionally shoving him to go faster. Remus didn't even bother to struggle against MacNair: The man was roughly three times his size and could probably snap him in half like a matchstick.  
  
When they reached a row of doors, MacNair led them to the very end of the row, opened a door and threw Remus in. He motioned for Sirius to do the same. Sirius hesitated before pushing James in. MacNair slammed the door shut and locked it.  
  
***  
  
As their eyes adjusted to the dim light in the cell, Remus and James got to their feet and looked around. Three of the walls were completely bare, and the other housed the large, heavy looking door. The only light came from the narrow spaces between the door and the wall, and the barred window at the top of the door.  
  
Remus sat down against a wall and closed his eyes, but James pounded his fists against the door as though intent on breaking it down with his bare hands. Remus got up after a short while and put a hand on James' shoulder.  
  
"You're not going to achieve anything by attempting to kill a solid iron door."  
  
James slumped against the wall and slid down until he was sitting on the floor.  
  
"Why'd he do that?" he asked. "After all we've been through together! He was almost as close to my mum and dad as I was, and he bloody well knows that it's Voldemort's fault they're dead. How could he turn? How could he?"  
  
Remus sat down next to James and put an arm around his shoulder.  
  
"I guess we just didn't know him as well as we thought." he said, then added almost as an afterthought, "Helga's going to be upset."  
  
James turned to look at Remus. "Who's going to tell her if we're dead?"  
  
A/N Mwahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! We did it! We did it! *evil dance around evil fire* Send in the hate mail! 


	52. chapter fiftytwo

Disclaimer: Don't own it.  
  
Chapter 52  
  
Sirius sat in a chair in front of a dwindling fire along with a small group of death eaters.  
  
"So, where exactly are we?" he asked.  
  
"Dunno." was the reply. "My lord fears that there may be spies or traitors among us, so he let's nobody but his inner-circle know where we are. The rest of us use portkeys."  
  
MacNair walked into the room. "Black, take this to the prisoners. Hurry up about it."  
  
Sirius took the tray of half rotten food that MacNair was holding and made his way to James and Remus' cell. On his way, he ducked into a storeroom where he knew their wands were being kept. Locating them quickly, he hid the wands under the rim of the plate on the tray and continued on his way to the cell. He opened the door and put the tray down, then, drawing his own wand, he stepped inside.  
  
***  
  
Remus and James looked up as they heard the door open. When they saw a dark figure come through the door, the quickly stood up. As the figure walked closer, they recognised it as Sirius. James rushed at Sirius, fists flying, as Remus tried half-heartedly to hold him back.  
  
"Stop it you git." Sirius snapped, pointing his wand at James. "Don't be a fool."  
  
Remus held onto James' shoulders as James, still trying to land a punch on Sirius, spoke angrily. "Don't be a fool? Speak for yourself, you traitor! How could you turn on us like that? How?"  
  
Sirius looked them in the eyes and said softly and coldly, "Things aren't always what they seem. Don't talk about things that you know nothing about."  
  
With that, he walked out of the cell, slamming the door behind him.  
  
James pulled free of Remus' grip just as the door slammed shut. He charged at the door and pounded on it shouting "Traitor" as he heard a key turning in the lock and Sirius muttering a simple locking spell.  
  
"Look at this slop!" James said disgustedly, looking at the tray of food.  
  
"Yeah, you'd think that he'd at least find us something decent to eat." Remus mused.  
  
"He's turned. Why would he bother?" James asked bitterly. "But on the bright side, while this stuff is no good for eating, maybe it's good for target practice."  
  
"You are not throwing that at me." Remus said flatly.  
  
"I'm just trying to see the good in this situation." James said lightly.  
  
He picked up the plate off the tray and went to pick out a piece of something indescribably disgusting when Remus let out a cry and grabbed the tray.  
  
"Our wands!" he whispered excitedly, handing James his wand and pocketing his own.  
  
"Things aren't always what they seem! This is what he meant - he hasn't turned! It's all an act!" James exclaimed.  
  
They hid their wands in their robes, agreeing that they couldn't attempt an escape until Sirius told them that he was ready. They didn't want him to get in trouble.  
  
***  
  
Sirius returned to the cell later that evening with a tray of food that was slightly less rotten than the last one. When he had put the tray down, Remus thanked him for their wands and asked him when they were leaving.  
  
Sirius looked dumbfounded. "What wands?"  
  
"It's called sarcasm, you git." James said, realising that Sirius hadn't had anything to do with it.  
  
Remus took the hint. "If you'd ever truly been our friend, you'd at least give us our wands back so that we would have a fighting chance."  
  
Sirius glared convincingly and spoke coldly. "You had your chance to choose your loyalties. You chose the wrong path, and now you're not leaving this cell. Well, not alive anyway."  
  
He paused for a second, then swept out of the cell, once again slamming the door behind him.  
  
A/N Ha. What do you think of Sirius now? Hopefully some of you will be confused, but I know that some of you won't be, since you've already guessed what's going on. Thankyou to all those people who sent 'hate mail' of sorts. It probably sounds weird, but you made our day! Thanks to everyone else who reviewed too. You all rock!  
  
Thanks to "Lady Fae" "mione_xavier" "Freckled-Angel" "Miss_Padfoot003" "Star" "ronluvr28" "ilovststionary" "Hoover" "Nie Starwhistler" "Krystyn1688"  
  
Lady Fae - What do you mean by Potc?  
  
mione-xavier - What makes you think we're not mad? All our friends tell us we are!  
  
Freckled-Angel - We have no idea what's up with that stupid 'chapter does not exist' thing. We'll try to sort it out.  
  
Miss_Padfoot003 - :P We DID get some nasty reviews! *victory dance*  
  
ronluvr28 - If we don't update for ages again (hopefully that won't happen, but you never know) wait a couple of weeks and check back. We're really sorry for taking so long to update, and we'll try not to be so slack again.  
  
Krystyn1688 - Don't worry, we have it all planned out. We love Pirates of the Caribbean too! It seriously rocks! 


	53. chapter fiftythree

Disclaimer: We don't own Harry Potter.  
  
Chapter 53  
  
The next time Sirius brought food for James and Remus they didn't even acknowledge his presence: They just sat against the wall and stared into space. Once he had left, James got up.  
  
"We may as well see if there's anything edible this time." he said in response to Remus' questioning look.  
  
Remus nodded and the two of them began to pick apart the tray of food. Surprisingly, most of it was ok this time. They found a strange looking object buried in the middle of the food and James lifted it out. He went to hand it to Remus, and when they were both touching it they felt a jerk behind their navels.  
  
A few seconds later, they landed face first in front of the entrance to Dumbledore's office. As they stood up and began dusting themselves off, McGonagall came around the corner with a hand on Sirius' shoulder. Sirius saw them and smiled shakily.  
  
With a cry of rage, James leapt at Sirius. He got in a few good punches, as did Sirius, acting in self defence, before McGonagall or Remus could react. When they did, they pulled James off Sirius and held onto one arm each as Sirius spoke.  
  
"So you really think I turned. How could you think that? After all the time that we've been friends?"  
  
He really did look hurt and offended.  
  
"Remus? You don't believe it too, do you?"  
  
Remus looked at Sirius defiantly. "I trusted you. I would have trusted you with my life. Now? Now I don't think I even want to be in the same room as you."  
  
Sirius looked genuinely hurt and a little shocked. McGonagall now looked thoroughly confused, but decided to let Dumbledore sort it out.  
  
"Why don't you come with me Sirius?" She turned to James and Remus. "You boys go back to your common room and we'll send for you when we're ready."  
  
***  
  
As James and Remus entered the common room, they felt the eyes of just about every Gryffindor on them. Obviously, the school term had started without them. They heard a squeam (Sploogal: That's a cross between a squeal and a scream for all of you uneducated folks haha) from a corner. They turned to see who had squeamed and were nearly bowled over by three girls clambering to hug them.  
  
"James! Remus! You're alive!" cried the voices of Lily, Yvonne and Helga.  
  
"Hey! Watch it, that hurts!" James protested as he felt his shoulder being knocked around.  
  
"What hurts? Are you ok?" Lily asked trying to check him over.  
  
James pulled away from her. "I'm fine. Just a bit bruised up is all."  
  
Lily hugged him more carefully this time. Yvonne was still trying to check Remus for injuries.  
  
"Where's Sirius?" asked Helga, trying to keep the panic out of her voice.  
  
James and Remus looked furious. They went and sat down on a couch and motioned for the girls to do the same.  
  
Remus started. "Sirius. He, he turned."  
  
This news was greeted by blank stares so he tried again.  
  
"He joined Voldemort."  
  
A moment later, Sirius walked into the common room. He looked up at five furious faces and stuttered to James and Remus, "The headmaster wants to see you."  
  
James and Remus walked past him, not looking at him or saying anything to him. When they had left, Sirius turned to the girls. Helga looked at him with a shocked and hurt expression on her face, her eyes brimming with tears before she ran out of the common room. Sirius made to follow her but Yvonne stepped in front of him, her wand pointed at his heart. She was shaking with anger.  
  
"If you touch her, talk to her, or approach her at all, I will hex you to hell and back." she whispered harshly.  
  
"Aren't you even going to hear me out?" Sirius demanded. "I would never join that bastard!"  
  
"Then maybe you can explain why James and Remus think you did?" Lily said quietly.  
  
"Of course I'll explain," Sirius agreed. "But I'd like to wait until James and Remus get back so I don't have to repeat myself."  
  
Lily, Yvonne and Sirius sat down on the squishy red couches and waited for James and Remus to return. When they did, both of them looked tired and strained as they had before, but now they also looked a little hopeful. James' eyes never once left Sirius' face. He quickly crossed the common room, followed closely by Remus. When he reached Sirius, he put a hand inside his pocket and pulled out a small vial.  
  
"Dumbledore give us this." he said, looking Sirius in the eye. "It's a truth potion."  
  
Sirius' face went from confusion to relief. "Oh, ok. You want me to drink it?"  
  
He took the vial from James and was just about to drink the clear liquid inside when he paused and looked at him suspiciously.  
  
"You do have the antidote, don't you?" he asked.  
  
Remus rolled his eyes and showed him another vial. Sirius glanced over at it and nodded. He lifted the vial to his lips and gulped down the contents.  
  
A/N I meant to get this chapter out yesterday but it seems that certain forces don't want me to type at all. Um, Garden Gnome and I will be back at school next week. That means no more of this rapid-update business. There're only another two chapters left that are written but not typed anyway. After that we'll probably be back to the old 'update as we go if we have time' thing like last year. WE ARE NOT ABANDONING THIS STORY!!! If we don't update for a while, it means that we have homework or something, not that we've given up. We will NOT stop this story until the words "The End" or other words to that effect. There will probably be a sequel after that, but it depends on how much time we have.  
  
Thanks to the following people for their kind reviews: "Hoover" "bigsmile737" "Rogue Misfit Marauder Jedi" "shnark" "Sadina Saphrite" "ElementRacer" "saxistwriterchick" "Nie Starwhistler" "ReBelleRose" "Miss_Padfoot003" "Freckled-Angel" "mione_xavier" "missprongs" "SquashyMuffin" "QueenOfBlackJack" "Star"  
  
Rogue Misfit Marauder Jedi - Here's an update. Please don't hurt my computer!  
  
shnark - Haha. I laughed so much when I read your review. Are you sure you don't want to take bets or something before I tell you what gender I am? Hehe. Well, Chelsea's right: I'm a gal. *walks off chucking crazily* Oh yeah and Jack from Pirates is sooooo cool! Sirius is cool too. Does that answer your question?  
  
ElementRacer - There is a reason, don't worry.  
  
Nie Starwhistler - Some people don't agree with you. . .  
  
ReBelleRose - Yeah Voldemort probably does know Legilimency (however you spell it lol) but Sirius is very strong willed as we all know. . . Granola bars? Hahaha! We've noticed that we're not all that good at writing action scenes either. Glad you think this was a step up. We'll probably go through everything later on to improve the other bits. Fragmented mini- reviews are good. Like a bag of warm-fuzzies. We like writing the dialogue, so we're happy you like it so much!  
  
missprongs - Eeep. Don't do that!  
  
SquashyMuffin - Yes that was from Pirates of the Caribbean. We love that movie!  
  
QueenOfBlackJack - *blushes* We're so flattered! 


	54. chapter fiftyfour

Disclaimer: Garden Gnome and Sploogal do not own Harry Potter. Please find someone else to sue.  
  
Chapter 54  
  
"What is your name?" James asked Sirius.  
  
"Sirius Orion Black. You know that."  
  
"Why did you swear loyalty to Voldemort?"  
  
"So that we could get out of there alive and possibly knock off a few lowlifes on our way out."  
  
"What do you mean?" Remus asked.  
  
"I thought that if I could gain their trust, I could find out where we were and report it to Dumbledore."  
  
"But?" Remus prompted.  
  
"There was to be an initiation ceremony tonight. Voldemort makes people who are about to be initiated perform a task to prove their loyalty. My task would've been to kill James." He continued, ignoring the gasps of his small audience. "I made a portkey that would take James and Remus back to Hogwarts and hid it in a tray of food, then took another portkey back to Hogwarts myself."  
  
"Why didn't you tell us that you hadn't switched sides?" James asked.  
  
"Because the best way to fool your enemies is to fool your friends." Sirius replied. "I had to make you believe that I'd turned so that you wouldn't accidentally tip them off. Then all of us would have been done for."  
  
There was a moment's silence before Remus grinned evilly and turned to Sirius.  
  
"If you were alone on a deserted island with only Lily here to keep you company, would you 'mingle' with her?" he asked.  
  
"No, I'd probably eat her."  
  
"What?" Lily exclaimed.  
  
"It would be the only way to shut you up!" Sirius explained.  
  
"How dare you!"  
  
"Sirius, would you choose to 'mingle' with -"  
  
"I'd choose to mingle with the antidote, actually." Sirius said quickly before Lily could finish her question.  
  
James handed him the antidote, which was a disgusting khaki green colour. Sirius grimaced and gulped it down, then looked at James.  
  
"Are you sure that was an antidote? It tasted like poison."  
  
James grinned. "I just got my best friend back. Do you think I'm going to poison you so soon?"  
  
"Are you implying that you're going to poison me at some stage in the future?"  
  
James scratched his chin. "You know, that may not be such a bad idea."  
  
"Sorry to interrupt this happy reunion thing, but it's two o'clock in the morning and personally, I think it would be nice to be able to stay awake tomorrow. And you," Lily pointed at Sirius, "Have got to talk to a certain someone."  
  
James, Sirius and Remus walked up to their dorm. Sirius was about to fall asleep when he realised that James was talking to him.  
  
"I knew you couldn't have turned. It just didn't make sense. Deep down, I think I knew that you were always on our side." James said softly.  
  
"Thanks Prongs."  
  
A/N Sorry for the wait. I had meant to get this out a couple of weeks ago, but things didn't quite go to plan. We'll do the review responses next chapter because we're kinda strapped for time right now. We're leaving for camp tomorrow morning, but we really wanted to get this chapter out before then. The next chapter won't be until Sunday/Monday at the earliest. Sorry, but we won't have access to the internet (or even a computer!) while we're on camp. We won't even be able to use our mobile phones! *runs away screaming*  
  
For those of you who were asking about a sequel: Yes, there will be one. We have already started writing one of the chapters of it. We need a name for it though. If you'd like to suggest a name, leave it in a review.  
  
Thanks to all reviewers. You know who you are. You guys really rock! 


	55. chapter fiftyfive

Disclaimer: Sploogal: *looks at Gnome* Did it work? Gnome: *angry* No. Sploogal: What do you mean 'no'? Gnome: I mean no. Sploogal: No? Gnome: No. Sploogal: Drat. Gnome: Indeed. Sploogal: *sighs* We better say it then. Gnome: *nods* Both: We don't own Harry Potter or any associated characters, themes, etc. *grumble* *glare at lawyers*  
  
Chapter 55 (is finally here!)  
  
When Sirius awoke the next morning, he was alone in the dorm. He yawned, stretched, and looked at the clock on his bedside table.  
  
"Shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot! They're gonna kill me!"  
  
"Who's going to kill you?" asked a female voice from not too far away. "It's a Saturday you know. You don't have any classes."  
  
Sirius jumped out of bed and turned to face the door where Lily was standing. She gasped when she saw his face.  
  
"What happened to you?" she cried.  
  
Sirius put a hand to his face and let out a nasty word as his fingers made contact to the space below his left eye. He turned around to look in the mirror and found that he had two black eyes and bruises on his cheeks.  
  
"Man, that James can really pack a punch!" he muttered more to himself than to Lily.  
  
"James did that?" Lily asked, shocked.  
  
"Yeah, I'm not that good, am I?" James asked as he came out of the bathroom.  
  
He walked up to Sirius and peered closely at his face.  
  
"What? Inspecting your handy-work?" Sirius asked with a laugh.  
  
"Yup." James replied absently. "We should probably pay a visit to the hospital wing. I've got a few bruises of my own to take care of." he gestured at a large, swollen looking bruise that covered one side of his face.  
  
"I'm glad I didn't see this fight." Lily mumbled.  
  
James and Sirius grinned and slung their arms about each other's shoulders. They walked past Lily, singing at the top of their lungs.  
  
A/N Yeah, we realise that chapter wasn't very worthwhile. To keep you entertained until the next instalment, we will tell you that in about two chapters time, one of the main characters will go completely blind. Can you guess who and why? Maybe you can guess who, but I doubt you'll figure out why. I mean, we didn't even know why until about five chapters after it happened. Sure, we had a vague idea, but we couldn't put a name to it, you know?  
  
I think I will say now that any time I refer to myself in an author's note, I am talking about me: Sploogal. Garden Gnome doesn't have anything to do with these notes. For some reason, she trusts that I will not fill them with obscenities and insults to all people who are not me. *shrugs* I don't understand it. She can't trust me not to write crude things on her hand/arm during chemistry and maths, but she lets me do the author's notes.  
  
Anyway, thanks to everyone who reviewed. I'm too tired to bother going through and finding all of your names, but if there was anything that needed replying to, it will be taken care of next time we post. (we, meaning I, because as we all know, Garden Gnome types SLOWLY. Yes, that's right, Gnome. You type slowly. There. Now everyone knows. *pokes tongue out* *tongue is cut off by Gnome's Stanley-knife which, incidentally, is named Stanley*  
  
I just realised that this authors note is about the same length as the chapter. *apologises profusely* Please don't send hate mail. I will start typing the next chapter immediately and attempt to get it posted tomorrow. 


	56. chapter fiftysix

Disclaimer: Despite our best efforts to convince the lawyers otherwise, we don't own Harry Potter. Please don't sue.  
  
Chapter 56  
  
After James and Sirius had returned bruise-free from the hospital wing, they walked down to breakfast with Remus, laughing and joking. After a few minutes, Sirius noticed that James had grown quiet.  
  
"What's up James?"  
  
"I was thinking. Had you just been accepted – just like that?" James asked.  
  
"No, there was supposed to be some sort of initiation ceremony or something for all the new recruits tonight." Sirius replied.  
  
"Was anyone we know there?" Remus said curiously.  
  
"Well, they only mentioned people by surnames, so I can't really be sure."  
  
"What surnames?" James questioned.  
  
"The only ones that I recognised were Lestrange and Snape." Sirius said grimly.  
  
"Why am I not surprised?" James muttered.  
  
"Why don't we move on to a more pleasant topic now." Remsu suggested." How about today's quidditch match? You guys ready to play Hufflepuff?"  
  
Yvonne, who was sitting nearby with Lily, groaned. "Not quidditch again."  
  
"Are you trying to insult the greatest game ever invented?" James demanded.  
  
Lily and Yvonne rolled their eyes and were about to respond when Helga walked up to the group.  
  
"Did someone say quidditch?" she asked lightly. "You know, you needn't bother coming to the match today. You're just going to be humiliated, because we are going to absolutely slaughter you out there."  
  
"Dream on Prewitt! Maybe someday you'll be that good, but not today." Sirius retorted. "Our team is much better than yours – everyone knows that!"  
  
"Get a life, Black. And while you're at it, you should think about finding a decent quidditch team, too. I'll see you on the pitch."  
  
With that, Helga turned on her heel and left the hall quickly.  
  
The stunned silence following her departure was broken by Sirius.  
  
"James? You'd better get the snitch today."  
  
The group laughed, but James stood up and took Sirius' plate from him.  
  
"Hey, what are you doing?" he whined.  
  
"You've had enough to eat. Go and get changed, and be on the quidditch pitch in ten minutes."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Do you want them to beat us?"  
  
"No, but -"  
  
"Then go." James ordered.  
  
Sirius looked around for some assistance, but Lily and Yvonne simply shrugged.  
  
"You got yourself into this, now you can get yourself out of it." Remus told him.  
  
Sirius was not amused.  
  
A/N Ok, so the last couple of chapters were a little weird and confusing. We know. If anyone wants a summery of what is going on here, you can email sploogal@hotmail.com with the subject "Summery?" and I'll explain things. We hope nobody's that confused, but if you are, we don't blame you.  
  
Thanks to all reviewers. Thanks to a certain suicidal computer, I don't have you names anymore. If you had any questions that needed answering, you might want to ask them again, and they will be answered at the end of the next chapter. (Which will be soon, hopefully.) 


	57. chapter fiftyseven

Disclaimer: After the long hiatus, we still don't own Harry Potter. We are very upset by this.  
  
Chapter 57  
  
With James catching the snitch after only 10 minutes, Gryffindor easily won the quidditch match against Hufflepuff. Sirius, still feeling annoyed at Helga, had gone to rub it in her face after the match. The resulting exchange of hex's between the two of them ended only when James and Lily had the sense to place both of them in full body binds. By dinner that evening, Sirius and Helga were actively ignoring each other.  
  
-----  
  
Sirius was unusually quiet at breakfast the next morning. Instead of wolfing down his breakfast as per usual, he merely picked at his food before pushing his plate away and putting his head on the table.  
  
"Sirius? You okay, mate?" James asked.  
  
Sirius grunted in reply. James waved a hand in front of Sirius' face and called his name. "Siiiiiiiiiiiiiriuuuuuus! Wake up!"  
  
Sirius continued to look blank as he half-heartedly pushed James' hand away. "Go 'way James." he groaned.  
  
"What's up with him?" James asked Remus.  
  
Remus shrugged and replied, "I dunno, but he better get better quickly. We have transfiguration in ten minutes."  
  
Sirius groaned as his friends peeled him off the table and guided him out of the hall.  
  
-----  
  
"Today, we will continue our work on transfiguring pieces of parchment into rabbits. You have completed the theory work, so you may now begin transfiguring the parchment. Go ahead."  
  
Sirius, who could usually transfigure things on his first go, looked a little green as he waved his wand over his parchment. Nothing happened. James and Remus looked shocked.  
  
"Wow. Has that ever happened before?" James asked.  
  
Remus shook his head dumbly as Sirius tried again. This time, his parchment sprouted a few hairs and began to smoke a little at the edges. As the three boys watched, it smoked more and more until it blew up in a large puff of purple smoke.  
  
The class and Professor McGonagall turned to look at Sirius, who had his elbows on the bench and his head resting on his hands.  
  
McGonagall walked over to Sirius and asked him if he was alright.  
  
"I'll be fine." he replied weakly. "It's just a headache."  
  
McGonagall stared for a moment before walking back to the front of the classroom.  
  
A few minutes later, Sirius had his head down on the bench. He was deathly pale, shivering, and sweating profusely. Remus and James looked at him.  
  
"Sirius? Are you ok? You're stating to go transparent." James said, concerned.  
  
It was true, too: Sirius was starting to look blurry around the edges.  
  
As Sirius didn't respond to anything that his friends did or said, James called McGonagall. She quickly looked him over and, wearing a worried expression, instructed James and Remus to accompany him to the hospital wing.  
  
James helped Sirius to stand, and would have helped him to stay upright too, but Sirius shrugged him off.  
  
As their friend stumbled clumsily towards the door, James and Remus walked on either side of him to prevent him from hitting the walls. Halfway to the door, Sirius clapped a hand to his head and cried out in pain. James and Remus grabbed his arms as he swayed on the spot, looking thoroughly disoriented.  
  
After a moment, the dizzy spell seemed to pass and Sirius took a few more steps. He stopped suddenly and put a hand on James' shoulder to stead himself, then fainted backwards, hitting his head on a nearby bench as he fell.  
  
A/N So sorry. SO SORRY!!! Very sporadic updates lately, huh? We do try to get them out as often as possible, really. _Sploogal shrinks away as Gnome picks up large heavy file_ Ok, ok. It's all my fault. Sploogal's fault. Me take all blame. _Gnome puts down file Sploogal sighs with relief_ Ok, so I'm slack when it comes to typing. Really, who wouldn't be with the state of Gnome's and my handwriting? It's atrocious!  
  
Anyway, thanks to everyone who reviewed. looks through reviews for any pressing questions  
  
**power-of-the-lightning-bolt** – Yes, well, Sploogal here grins has come up with a water-tight theory about that whole James seeker-chaser thing._ clears throat importantly _His preferred position is seeker, but when he first tried out for the team, either he wasn't good enough for seeker _cough _or the position wasn't available, so he ended up as chaser. When he tried out again a couple of years later, he got in as seeker. That certainly explains how he could be both. looks smug  
  
**sqoogal** – Our A/N's have a tendency to become long. Sorry. We're not forcing you to read them though. Usually, if there's anything really important that you should know about, we'll put a note at the beginning of the chapter, so if you see one there, read it. Also, at the end where we reply to some reviewers individually, it's probably good to read that too, because this is where we can clear up questions and comments that are getting repetitive. The general paragraphs in the A/N's at the end are usually just apologies for being slack with the updating, so you can skip those without missing anything. Um... You'll definitely know when this is finished. It's nearly there. _grins evilly _We've already started writing the sequel, so don't think you can get away that easily!_ grins more evilly_  
**  
Purplefluffychainsaw** – Congrats!!!  
  
_sighs_ I think that's all. Sorry if I missed anything important. If I did, ask it again and I'll try to get it next time round. 


	58. chapter fiftyeight

Disclaimer: Uh uh. Still don't own it.  
  
Chapter 58  
  
Madam Pomfrey would not allow Sirius to have any visitors, so James and Remus had to settle for getting their information in their own ways: Via James' invisibility cloak. They quickly discovered that there were wards on all possible entrances to the Hospital Wing to keep out unwanted visitors, so they paid frequent visits to the staff room, hoping that the teachers might let something slip about Sirius' condition.  
  
They huddled under the cloak in a corner or the staff room, far enough from the teachers that they wouldn't risk being bumped into, but near enough that they could hear anything that was said by the teachers.  
  
"Hi Poppy." McGonagall said tiredly as she sat down beside Madam Pomfrey.  
  
"Hello Minerva."  
  
"Any news on young Mr Black's condition?"  
  
Pomfrey sighed. "He still hasn't woken. I don't know what could be wrong with him, and nothing that I can do is helping. It looks like some sort of virus, and he's running a fever, but other than that..." she trailed off.  
  
"Surely there is something you can do!" McGonagall all but cried. "You're one of the most powerful healers I know of!"  
  
"If he Is still unconscious by this time tomorrow, I will be sending him to St Mungo's." Madam Pomfrey said.  
  
James and Remus, having heard enough, made their way out of the staff room and back to their dorm.  
  
-----  
  
Sirius groaned as he woke up and found himself in complete darkness. He knew that it was dark in the hospital wing at night time, where he assumed he'd been taken after he'd passed out, but he didn't recall anywhere ever being this dark.  
  
He lay there for a few minutes with only the aching in his head to keep him company before he heard voices nearby.  
  
"Madam Pomfrey, please! We just want to see him before you send him away!" James' voice said, sounding strained and tired.  
  
"There is really no point, boys." came Madam Pomfrey's voice, also sounding tired. "But I suppose you may see him."  
  
Sirius heard footsteps coming towards him and figured when they stopped that Madam Pomfrey was somewhere close by.  
  
"Madam Pomfrey, would you turn on the lights? Why are they off?"  
  
He hear a gasp and footsteps came towards him.  
  
"The lights are already on, Mr Black." Madam Pomfrey said, sounding slightly worried. "You had better not be joking."  
  
Sirius frowned. "I'm not joking. Everything's dark – I can't see! You're the one who'd better not be joking!"  
  
He felt Madam Pomfrey's fingers touching his eyelids and figured she must be trying to find out what was wrong.  
  
"Well?" he heard James demand impatiently.  
  
"This must have been somehow caused by the fever." Pomfrey said, mostly to herself. "Mr Black, what can you see?"  
  
"Nothing at all, like I said!" Sirius replied, now slightly panicked.  
  
"What's wrong with him?" Remus asked.  
  
"I will have to run some tests to find out whether or not this is permanent, and -"  
  
She was cut off by Sirius. "PERMANENT? Don't even think it! This is not permanent!"  
  
"You two will need to leave while I take a look at Mr Black here." Madam Pomfrey continued as though Sirius had not spoken. "You will be notified of when you may return."  
  
James and Remus shot worried looks at Sirius, said goodbye to him, and left quickly.  
  
-----  
  
"How is he going?" were the first words James and Remus heard as they entered the common room.  
  
Lily and Yvonne were looking at them with equally concerned expressions. The boys didn't answer, but just walked over to the couches.  
  
"No virus could have done this." James thought aloud.  
  
"Done what?" Lily asked, sounding as though she wasn't sure if she wanted the answer.  
  
"Blinded him. He's bloody blind!" James sprang out of his chair and stormed up to the boys dorm.  
  
"Blind?" Yvonne repeated shakily.  
  
"Completely blind." Remus confirmed. "He can't see a thing."  
  
With that, he turned and followed James up the stairs.  
  
A/N Howzat? 


	59. chapter fiftynine

Disclaimer: Sploogal and Gnome don't own Harry Potter. Neither of us is JKR. We'd like to be though. That would rock.  
  
Chapter 59  
  
Remus and James had been quiet all morning, feeling as though a part of them was missing with Sirius in the hospital wing and without his sight. Then suddenly that part of them wondered over to the Gryffindor table wearing horribly mismatched socks, and with McGonagall's hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Sirius!" James cried.  
  
"Hi James." Sirius replied as McGonagall guided his hands to the table.  
  
Sirius sat down with a small degree of difficulty and began to speak with Lily and Yvonne while McGonagall took James and Remus aside for a word.  
  
"On of you will have to accompany him at all times to make sure he doesn't trip down the stairs or anything silly like that." she said.  
  
"We'll take care of him." James stated calmly as Remus nodded.  
  
When McGonagall had left, James and Remus turned to Sirius. Sirius was dopily trying to cut a piece of bacon. Yvonne was giggling and Lily was looking murderous. Remus took the knife and fork from Sirius and began to cut his breakfast for him.  
  
"So, what's wrong with your eyes?" James asked.  
  
"I'm blind, you numbskull!" Sirius snapped.  
  
"You know what I meant." James said calmly.  
  
Sirius shrugged. "Pomfrey couldn't figure out exactly what caused it, but she said that there's a chance that I'll get my sight back."  
  
James sighed with relief.  
  
"In the meantime," Sirius continued with a grin, "I get to annoy the hell out of you two!"  
  
Remus and James groaned loudly. Remus shoved Sirius' plate over and put the fork in his hand. "It's all cut up now."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
Sirius stabbed blindly with the fork at the space in front of him, missing his plate completely and upsetting the goblet of pumpkin juice that sat next to it. Remus sighed and took out his want to clean up the mess, then poured out some more pumpkin juice for him. James put a hand around Sirius' wrist and moved it so that the fork stabbed a piece of egg. Sirius forced a grin.  
  
"Ah! Success!" he cried, shoving the egg into his mouth.  
  
They repeated this routine until Sirius threw down his fork in frustration.  
  
"I hate this." he said moodily.  
  
"Is it annoying then?" James asked innocently.  
  
Sirius glared in James' general direction. "Thankyou Captain Obvious!" (Sploogal and Gnome: Hehe... Britty-Bum's input there...)  
  
Just then, James and Remus saw Helga leave the Ravenclaw table and head in their direction. They exchanged glances.  
  
"Come on," said Remus. "Let's go and get your books, Sirius. We have charms first."  
  
Sirius looked confused for a second before he smiled and replied, "Ok Mr Walking-Timetable."  
  
"Shut up." Remus said half-heartedly.  
  
The three of them got up and James led Sirius out of the Hall with Remus trailing closely behind. As soon as they had exited the hall (according to James), Sirius felt something, or rather, someone collide with him.  
  
"Oof!" Sirius gasped.  
  
"Of Sirius! I just heard – I'm so sorry!" the person sniffed, hugging him tightly around the waist.  
  
"Steph! I can't breath!" Sirius rasped. (Sploogal: Sirius gasped, then he rasped? My eye is about to start twitching... Damn you Gnome!)  
  
"Sorry." she stepped back, allowing Sirius to catch his breath.  
  
"I'm fine." Sirius said with a grin. "Thanks Baldy."  
  
Steph grinned back at him. "Anytime Pinky."  
  
"Not fair! I'm blind – I get to do the insulting!" Sirius whined.  
  
"Oh well. Tough luck." she began to walk away, but stopped and turned around. "Pinky."  
  
"What would we do without your dear little sister?" Remus asked.  
  
Sirius shook his head, laughing.  
  
A/N We only have the next three chapters written, so we'll try to get those up in the next couple of weeks. After that it'll probably be a while before you get more updates. We are very close to the end of this fic, so keep reviewing and we'll keep updating.  
  
Sploogal: Yeah it's what, about 10 chapters away now?  
  
Gnome (Nodding): Sounds about right.  
  
Sploogal (Rubbing hands together): You're agreeing with me?  
  
Gnome (Nodding): Sounds about right.  
  
Sploogal (Glaring): Are you just saying that?  
  
Gnome (Nodding): Sounds about right.  
  
Sploogal (Lobbing large, ugly, heavy, evil chemistry textbook at Gnome): Take that!  
  
Gnome (Ducking and running): Argh!  
  
Sploogal (Grinning): Now that that problem is taken care of, thanks to all of you beautiful people who reviewed! Please do so again! We're addicted to your lovely comments. We've almost hit the 500 mark! Yay!  
  
Graceful Lily – Yeah, that is logical. I put it down to magic.  
  
power-of-the-lightning-bolt – We haven't gone any more AU than we already were after the release of book five. We promise. (Cue evil grins...) Sorry, we can't just tell you what happens. That would be cheating. We can tell you that the final chapter ends with a death though. (Evil grins in full effect... Now.)  
  
Blacksgirl – Possibly.  
  
ChaosLightning13 – Yes, Sploogal did the fainting part. She has a mortal fear of injections, so getting immunisations is always fun. She knows what fainting is like.  
  
Nutella – Yay! You reviewed! Sploogal: Sorry. I can't promise to keep my hands off James. Gnome: But Sirius is cool!  
  
For those of you who read "How to Annoy Lord Voldemort" and have been wondering about a sequel: A sequel is still a little while off. I'd like to go through it and edit it to make it adhere to the rules of grammar and spelling and whatnot before I even think about a sequel. Sorry. 


	60. chapter sixty

Disclaimer: We own nothing. Really.

A/N: Yes, it's been a couple of years. We got busy. Please accept our humblest apologies and suffer us to live a little longer. Sploogal's typing up the few chapters that we wrote a couple of years ago and didn't get around to putting up, then we'll see about writing some fresh stuff.

And now, the long awaited continuation…

Chapter 60(!)

"What have we got next?" Sirius asked.

James glanced at his friend's timetable. "Care of Magical Creatures," he groaned, "with the Hufflepuffs."

"What's wrong with Hufflepuffs? Helga's a Hufflepuff," Sirius protested at James' tone.

"Exactly.'

The girls joined them on the way to class.

"Hey Sirius! How are you?" Lily asked cheerfully.

"Good as possible," Sirius replied and was about to continue when Professor Kettleburn began talking.

"Today we will continue learning about Hippogriffs. Please divide into groups of two and I will allocate you each a Hippogriff."

As the professor began calling out names, Helga hesitantly approached the boys. "Sirius? Could I partner with you?" she asked timidly.

"Sirius is going with us as he needs _friends_ to guide him around," James said, glowering at Helga.

Helga looked from one face to another, her eyes finally resting on Sirius. When he said nothing, she turned away with tears in her eyes.

"Why'd you guys tell Helga to go away?" Sirius asked. "Where is she? I want to talk to her."

"Well, we'd rather not talk to her right now, and since we have to go everywhere with you, we'd have to put up with it," James snapped.

"Oh, so now you _have_ to go everywhere with me, huh?" Sirius retorted. "If it's such a big deal for you, I can find my way around without your help!"

With that, Sirius pulled a long cane from his pocket and, with the cane out in front of him, began walking towards the sound of Lily's voice – where he figured Helga would be.

"Lily?"

"Oh, Sirius. Where are James and Remus?" Lily asked with a frown.

"You're asking me?"

Lily blushed. "Good point."

"Is Helga around here?" Sirius asked.

"No, she went off with some other Hufflepuffs when you came over," Lily replied. "Did you two have a fight or something?"

"I honestly have no idea. Maybe you should ask James and Remus. They seem to know more about it than I do," he said bitterly.

Lily shrugged, but the effect was lost on Sirius.

Feeling a tap on his shoulder, Sirius looked around out of habit, then shook his head and scowled darkly when he realized how pointless it was.

"You might want to sit out for this lesson, Mr Black," came the voice of Professor Kettleburn.

Sirius snorted. "Of course."

Lily handed him his textbook and charmed it to read aloud at Sirius' command.

"Thanks," Sirius said dryly, sitting down on the spot with the book in his lap.

A while later, Sirius heard footsteps coming towards him. He stood up.

"Are you talking to us again or what?" James asked.

Sirius shrugged. "Only if you'll tell me what you've got against Helga. Then I'll consider it."

James and Remus exchanged glances.

"We think that she might have done this to you," Remus offered.

"Why would you think that?" Sirius asked, dumbfounded.

"Because you had that fight the day before it happened, and she looked pretty pissed off at you."

"So? Helga would never do anything like this!" Sirius said with a glare directed in the general direction of a nearby tree.

"Let's go back up to the castle," Remus suggested.

"I'm supposed to visit the Hospital Wing at the end of classes," Sirius reminded them grumpily.

"Ok then," Remus said, "we'll go there."

James and Remus sat off to one side as Madam Pomfrey checked Sirius' eyes and administered eyedrops.

"Madam Pomfrey?" James prompted.

"What is it Mr Potter?" the nurse asked briskly.

"You don't think it's possible that a curse did this, do you?"

Pomfrey frowned. "Well, yes, it's certainly possible. Why do you ask?"

"Would you guys just drop it?" Sirius yelled. "She would _never_ do this!"

James shut up quickly.

A/N Hopefully that was satisfying. Let us know what you think. I'm off to my first shift at a new job, so wish me luck! I'll type more when I get home.


	61. Chapter 61

**Disclaimer: You know the drill.**

Chapter 61 

After much poking and prodding, Madame Pomfrey finally announced, "Mr Black, I am going to have to keep you in tonight for observation."

"Ok," Sirius said grudgingly, "but only for tonight."

"Yes, just tonight," Madame Pomfrey repeated. "But I'm afraid the rest of you boys will have to leave now. I don't want anything disrupting the tests."

Remus and James looked at each other and rolled their eyes before saying goodbye and leaving the hospital wing.

"Sirius? _Sirius_?"

Somebody was trying to wake him. Sirius opened his eyes to see who it was before remembering that he was currently blind.

"Who is it?" he asked groggily.

"It's me, Sirius," came the reply.

Sirius sat up. "Helga? What are you doing here?" he asked, sounding more harsh than he had meant to.

"I just wanted to-" she broke off. "I'll go if you want me to."

"No, I didn't mean that," Sirius corrected quickly and patted the bed. He felt Helga sit down next to him. "What is it?"

Helga began to cry.

"Helga, what's wrong?" Sirius put an arm around her shaking shoulders.

"It wasn't me, Sirius! I swear it wasn't me. I wouldn't – I couldn't do it!" she cried.

"Shh, it's ok," Sirius tried to calm her down. "I know it wasn't you."

Helga sniffed. "If you knew, why didn't you say anything?"

"I did."

"No, you didn't. You just stood there whilst they practically told me that – that-" she broke down again before she could continue.

"What? In Care of Magical Creatures? I was just surprised I guess. Shocked, really. I had a bit of a fight with the guys afterwards."

"Oh. So you never believed it?"

"Never," Sirius replied, and before he knew what had happened, she was kissing him.

The next morning Sirius woke to people sniggering.

"What is so funny?" Sirius asked, annoyed.

James pointed to the bed and gasped through peals of laughter, "Bed, bed!"

Sirius turned his head towards the bed and realised immediately what had so amused his friends.

"Helga," he shook the form lying next to him. "Helga, wake up."

She opened her eyes slightly. "What time is it?"

Sirius looked over at the clock. "It's just past nine."

"Wake me up in an hour." With that, Helga closed her eyes and promptly fell back to sleep.

"Sirius, my friend, what were you two up to last night that has Helga so tired this morning?" James asked, grinning from ear to ear. When no-one except for Sirius seemed amused, he looked around and demanded, "What's up with you lot? Hippogriff got you tongue?"

Lily, Remus and Yvonne were all staring at Sirius.

"What?"

"What time is it?" Lily asked.

"Nine. Well, ten past nine," Sirius answered slowly. "Why?"

"How did you work that out?" Yvonne asked.

"I looked at the clock, like every other normal person, and read the time. What's so amazing about that?"

"Blind people don't read the time," James said, finally cottoning on to what was happening.

Sirius was about to open his mouth to reply when Madame Pomfrey bustled into the ward.

"Mr Lupin tells me you are able to – Miss Prewitt! Get off that bed this instant!" The nurse said, sounding outraged.

Helga yawned. "Sorry Madame Pomfrey. I'm pretty tired. Sirius and I had a busy night."

With a grin, Helga got off the bed and exited the hospital wing, leaving Madame Pomfrey opening and closing her mouth like a goldfish.

A/N Erm. Yeah. Sorry about the lack of updates, for like the upteen-millionth time. You all should go and check out Midnite Chocoholic's new fic. All of you. Go. Now.

**Keren, now that I've updated, albeit a little late, pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaase tell me who the mystery girl is! Update your fic!**


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